From Under My Blanket
Damn, I'm Not The Queen?!
- 12718 Wörter
- Ab 18 Jahren
After the first rape I had no idea there were many more men in the world who will rape, assault, beat, and pull knives and guns on me or any child or woman. I was raised in a Pentecost Oneness family and we were not told of these things. God only knows what makes some men gentle and loving and some men violently take what is not theirs, which is in some cases is sticking their penis in any hole available and I'm fighting for my life while telling them NO!
Trauma as a raped child is just as traumatic as being raped as a teenager or adult. One rape robs a human of all power, self worth, dignity, self esteem, and we take on the blame, shame, disgust, embarrassment, pain, self loathing, and then being raped by the system if I decide to press charges. The cops have a female cop or nurse scrape stuff my vagina and take blood. Then I'm put trial with no names or information of the rapist and filling out tons of paperwork.
The abuser or rapist is usually no where to be found after their dirty deeds. Many rapes causes diseases and babies. Rapes and abuse in any form takes all power from any human leaving us vulnerable to entire world and family judging us harshly and wrong. We are doubted and even called a liar because that makes it go away for them. Any human who knows about it looks at us with disgust and wander if we would screw their man and call rape.
We're never believed or treated right by anyone we've told or they already know. Some men are proud of their dirty deeds and tell on them self. Many abused and raped women talk candid, straight up nasty mouthed and don't give a damn anymore what people think. We lose a lot of our family and are not accepted easily by anyone. After any rape if we try to press charges we are put on trial immediately and put through a rigorous investigation and violations of our bodies.
We have to fill out reports on men who we don't know details on. The main thing we don't get to do is ask our assaulter or rapist what they're name and details are and by the way give me DNA and do a rape kit for me. People and counselors say, "Don't let it bother you or it wasn't your fault" while we're thinking, have you ever been raped or abused, have you even been around violence?
After a lot of rapes when a man is fighting me or raping me, I know I'm fighting for my life so I give up my coochie to save my life. I'm a graphic writer and even talk graphic because life has been graphic. I shut off all emotional receptors to help ease the emotional anxiety. Some men I believe start at an early being perverted. Many boys in school used to look up my dress all the time and ask me to push my panties aside so they can see my coochie.
What parents should be teaching their boys is to respect all women and teach children how to hurt perverts and stress a million times about not talking at all to strangers. One old man in our neighborhood when I was growing up gave me presents and one day he gave me a ball and was luring me to an abandoned church down the road. The neighbors saw me following him and called the law. [mehr]
Stichwörter: Erotic, rape, sex, truth, violence, dancing, drugs, alcohol, abuse, survivor, NoJudgemnts