Wichtiger Beitrag

I like the twist very much, but i wish you'd lingered there for a while and painted (excuse the pun) a more vivid picture of the model at the end. After all, the rest of the story was the artist's observation of the scene, so perhaps you could have offered just a little more at the end.

I was struck by your word usage.

Someone must have told you, as sricci has, to avoid repetition. It's a golden rule, of course, but what's... mehr anzeigen

Wichtiger Beitrag

Loved the twist at the end--did not see that coming. One minor suggestion is to not use the word "work" so often, if possible. There's one paragraph where a version of the word appears four times. Other than that, I think it's great.

Wichtiger Beitrag

My skin crawled and you only took a page to do it. Very fine writing.

Wichtiger Beitrag

Mr. Gruesome is my new name for you. This one is my very favorite. A masterful piece of fiction contained in three-quarters of a page. Excellent work.

Wichtiger Beitrag

I loved it! Good work in so few words...not any easy task but you made it seem flawless.