He had lots of friends, a solid job with a good position, and a boyfriend of 2 years. He enjoyed working out and partying on the weekends. Everything on the surface level appeared to be ok but he was troubled by a compulsion that he kept secret. He found himself going to the bathhouses more and more often. At first it was simple curiosity. He had heard about them and wanted to see what it was like for himself. He said he felt a sense of freedom, being able to walk around and watch the other men having sex and join in whenever he desired.
He thought that would be enough, but then it became a challenge to have sex with the most attractive men of the night. Then it escalated to how many men he could have sex with in one visit. Every time he felt he had accomplished a goal at the bathhouse, a new and more challenging one seemed to take its place. He eventually made his way to the “dark room” where you couldn’t see the other men who were in there with you. You walked into a room of darkness and all you could feel were other men’s hands and bodies. He was starting to visit this dark room every night and it was that compulsion that led him to seek therapy.
I asked him what it was that he felt when he was in this dark room that kept him coming back. He simply responded, “I feel invisible when I’m there.”
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 22.11.2011
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