I know my life isn't the greatest and I know it will never be the greatest. If I gave somebody the chance to be in my shoes, I'm afraid they wouldn't want to be around me any more. I'm afraid of my own father.
I lost myslef years ago, when I was running away from him. I ran away from my father two and a half years ago. Ever since I've been hiding in the shadows of my depressing and harsh memories. It's came to that time I'll share my story so others don't end up like me.
It all started while I was at school. I was sitting at lunch with my boyfriend and my friends. We were was talking and having fun, you know just acting like regular middle-school teenagers. It was pretty busy in the cafeteria.
"What does little corn say to mamma corn"? asked Derick, Anna boyfriend
"Baby chick noises". one of Anna friends said.
"Not even close"! shouted Derick
"Ok then Derick we all said we give up. What's the answer"? said Anna calmly
"Ok it"s... Where's poppa corn.. Get it like popcorn". Derick said while laughing historically
"Dude h..o..n..e..s..t..y...l..y.. Ummmmmm. You Derick um, please go get the nurse. Please and hurry up!" Anna said in a panicky voice
" Anna what wrong"? Mary asked
" I think or I know I got my period while I'm at school". Anna said shocked
" Anna calm down you be alright. Trust me the nurse will be here soon." said Mary again
I finally calmed down and walked to the nurse with paper towels under, over, and beside me. It felt really awakward people were staring at and me and whispery things into their friend's ear. I had these random thoughts come to my mind.
Eventually we ended up at the nurses office. I sat down in a chair until she was ready to work with me. It was other kids in there with headaches, stomaches, fevers, bad coughing, and basically anything you can go to the nurse for to get out of class. Eventually the nurse came to me and asked me millions of questions or at least it felt like it.
"Honey, are you sure you got your period"? the nurse asked
" Well I actually don't know. I just felt something come out my private part". Anna said
" Anna I advised that you go check". said the nurse politely
At that instant Anna speed walked to the bathroom. I walked into the girl's bathroom and ran to the first stall I could fine. I opened and locked the door. I looked I saw my red converse. I pulled down my black skinny jeans. Which followed with me pulling down my pink lace Victoria Secrets underwear. I looked at my underwear and I was completly in shock. I couldn't believe it. I got my period at school. It was blood sitting there on my underwear. That god hevaens it wasn't alot. After I sent the blood I pulled up my underwear and my jeans. Open and unlocked the bathroom stall door, and continue with washing my hands.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't look like myself espcally my boobs. I felt everything was happening so fast. My mom was just arrested for doing drugs, and now me having my period. I turned off the water and dried my hands. I left the girl's restroom and went back to the nurses office.
" Hannah did you check yourself". asked the nurse
" Yes, I did check myself. I did end up having my period'. I said with a sad tone
"Ok Anna stay here. I'm going to call your father so you can go home. When you go home I want youy to stop by the store to get any tampons or pads. Also change every time you pee or else you will get an infection. Make you talk to your father about this". the nurse said quietly
The nusre left and went on to continue to call my father.
About ten minutes later my dad was at the school. I gave a nurse a "thank you" and walked out and headed to the school main office. As I was walking, I was thinking how much easier this will be if my mom was here. I was snapped out of my thought by a big huge hug from my father. I said bye to the people working in the office an left out of the school building.
I ran up to my dad car it was nice. I figured he got it cleaned and stuff today while I was at school. I hopped into the passenger side of the car and my dad shut my door. I dont know why but it felt a little bit awkard because he was treating me like I was sick, but all that happened to me was me getting my period while I was at sschool. So I just kept that thought to myself in and my head.
I my dad was speeding. Your probably thinking how I know. Well this how he was doing eighty but the speed limit was sixty-five. As we got closer to the house he slowed down. About seven blocks away from the house he started to rub on my legs.
"What are you doing"? Anna said nervously
"Nothing". he said
We arrived at the house. I open and slammed the car door and ran to the house as fast as I could. I ran up the steps, went into my bedroom and locked the door. I was so confussed. All these question ran to my mind like, this, that, why, and me. I plopped down on my bed and pulled out my iphone and headphone. I sat there listening to music. I must have fallen alseep because I woke up from sleeping. I looked at the clock it was seven-thrity.
I got up from my bed. I walked to my door and unlocked it. I looked to the left and then to the right. I was glad he wasn't there. I walked out into the hallway because we normally eat dinner at this time. I walked towards the staircase. I quietly and slowly went down. Now I was standing in the ;iving room.
I walked into the kitchen, no one was there and espically no food was there. I checked the fridgerator and looked very ahrd but no food was here. Then I heard something.
I woke up a few minutes later in my father's room, tied to the bed post and my feet handcuffed together. I was scared. My clothes was changed. I hold on a purple lingerie and no underwear. So I started to panic.
"Help, help! Somebody help me"! I screamed
Then the door creeped open. My father walked in slowly woth nothing on but some white boxers. In his hand he held a key to the handcuffs. I was so upset with myself, because I couln't do anything to mske him stop.
He came towards me and sat the key on the nightstand. He started kissing my lips so soft and sweetly. I felt so wrong and gulity, but I didn't fight it I only made it worse by kissing back. He went from kissing my lips from down my neck. He untied the ropes of my hands. He slowly took off my lingerie and his underwear. He took his private part and rubbed it up and down.
He finally stuck into me, and it hurted. He stayed there for a second doing nothing. Then started moving back and forth. Next thing you know I'm moaning and groaning.
After my father finshed I slapped him. Grabbed the key off the nightstand and took off the handcuffs. I started punching him and beating him. I couldn't believe my own father raped me. I grabbed the baseball bat and hit him right in the head.
I ran in my room and put on some clothes. Grabbed a bag and stuff a lot of clothes, and stuff in there. Went back to my father and looked at him one more time. Which was my last time.
I ran so fast down the steps I fell. I just needed to get away. He did so much damage to me. I should have know why my dad was acting so weird while I was going through my changing phase. I slammed the door, left the house and never looked back again.
I walked far, far away from there. I never wanted to go there again. I went to the only place I be acceped to the hood. I walked for days which turned into weeks which turned into months. I walked thousands and thousands of miles.
I finally made it to my destination. There I made many and plenty of friends. I was glad nothing bad has happen since. I have tons if friends we sit there all day doing nothing but being drunk and high.
I never been back to that place ever since. The memory is so depressing it becomes a nightmare. Five years later I finally shared my story for all the ones who had this happen to them
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 08.06.2014
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I dedicate this book to people who lives wasn't the greatest and with the horrible memories of rape.