That night Sadie slept peacefully, eager to find out what the upcoming weekend would hold for her. It was as if a great weight had been lifted up of her shoulders. Now that her mother knew, she wouldn't have to sneak around. She could see Shaun whenever she pleased. They could go out together without the worry of her getting into any trouble. Some days she would still go and visit Tisha after school while Shaun was at work. As we know Shaun was hard working and the soul supporter of the family even though Ron was around. Shaun was loved and respected by his siblings to the fullest; they looked up to him and depended on him. His mother Laura always covered up for him no matter what he did and even if she didn't approve of Sadie, she would allow their relationship to continue as well as hide it from Ron for his sake. Tisha, Theo and Kiki did the same. Tisha was okay with it as they were still very good friends, Theo, his visually impaired brother was still getting to know Sadie better and Kiki was still too young to understand.
It was a Thursday afternoon and Laura was in the kitchen preparing lunch. Oh! What a brilliant cook she was, she made the best curries and baked the best biscuits and cakes you could ever eat. She had a kind heart and whenever it came to food she was always selfless. She had something about her that was very unique, her cooking time was always on the minimum and no matter how little she cooked it could always feed a lot of people. She fed anyone and everyone that showed up at her door and blessed were those hands that prepared those meals. Shaun had come home early from work as his employers needed to attend a family funeral so when Sadie went to see Tisha she was surprised to see him there. With Ron being out and about they decided that they would watch a movie in Shaun's room and then she'll go back home. About half an hour to 45 minutes had past when Laura hear Ron screaming loudly and talking to someone one the road, she quickly went and knocked on Shaun's door to warn him that his father was almost home. Sadie immediately got off the bed and went to sit in Tisha's room with Kiki. A minute later and Ron was already standing by the door in his usual drunken state. At this time he was unaware that Shaun was home. He went towards Laura who was now seated in front of the TV and said "Laura I need to ask u something and don't you FUCKING lie to me!" she knew he was drunk and annoyed at his approach so she abruptly replied "YES WHAT, TALK I'M LISTENING".
He then begins by asking her if she's knows anything about Shaun and Sadie and the fact that they are in a relationship. Laura is so scared at that moment that she doesn't know what to say to him. "DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT FUCKING KNOW?” again she keeps quiet and at this point a frustrated Ron is about to slap her across the face when Shaun, who overheard everything, came out of the room. "What’s going on?" Shaun asked. "I AM ASKING YOUR MOTHER IF SHE KNOWS ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING BETWEEN YOU AND SADIE!" he shouted. Shaun then explained that Sadie was now his girlfriend and they were seeing each other. This infuriated Ron as he felt like he was no one. He was upset at the fact that everyone knew but didn't tell him anything and he had to find out about it from friends at the shebeen. They argued about this for a few minutes back and forth until Shaun screamed for Sadie to come out of the room and take her home. Sadie who was rather shit scared at that moment, opened the bedroom door and after a few minutes felt brave enough to walk out. When she got to the kitchen Ron said to Shaun “I don't want this BITCH back in my house again" that pissed Shaun of to the extent where he walked towards Ron and punched him in the chest! A fist fight broke out between them and Laura and Tisha has to separate them. Shaun grabbed Sadie's hand and they walked out. On the way to Sadie's house, she just burst out into tears. She told Shaun that she didn't mean for things to happen that way and she felt really disappointed in herself that she caused an issue between a father and son. Shaun told her that it was okay because they have fought numerous times. Whenever Laura would get beaten up by Ron, Shaun would defend her and fist fights often occurred. Knowing this didn't take away the guilt that Sadie felt. She got home and told her mother what happened and at that moment her mother decided that it's best for Sadie to keep her distance for a while until the situation had calmed down.
Sadie stayed away from that house and the good thing was that Shaun could still come and see her at her house and Neema was okay with that. About 2 weeks has passed since the incident when Ron confronted Shaun again about the situation and expressed that he was only angry because he was the last to know and pointed out the fact that Sadie was very much younger than Shaun and still in school. Shaun told his father that he was aware of it but he really loved Sadie. Ron looks at Shaun and admits that he has no choice but to accept it. This was a relief for Shaun and when he told Sadie about she was extremely relieved and excited that she could still go there and have pretend sleep overs with "Tisha". They continued their relationship like Normal, they would go out together, take walks together and they both introduced each other to extended family members. This relationship was getting serious and Sadie loved every moment of it! While other girls were getting cheap chocolates at school from their classmates, He would buy her shiny jewelry, stylish clothes, awesome fragrances, beautiful shoes and everything else she needed. She used to brag about her "sugar daddy" at school.
It's the 25th of March 2006, Sadie turns 16 years old. Wow! How much she has grown since we read about her in the previous book! That little girl is now “sweet 16". She gets birthday wishes from all over, school, home and a little bit more from Shaun, if you know what I mean ;). He gave her a really romantic birthday surprise that consisted of dinner, a movie and a sleepover.
How she wished that day would never end!
The next day she and Tisha decide that they too tired to go to School so they made a plan to bunk! They got dressed and combed their hair as normal, Shaun had given them their daily spending money, Sadie kissed him goodbye and they left home. Instead of walking to school they walked to the shop, bought some snacks, cold drinks and even cigarettes and then headed to the swamp near their houses. They sat there for hours and spoke about the night before whilst puffing long cigarettes. They seemed to have so much of fun that they continued to do that on and off for almost the whole month! They wrote fake work in their notebooks just in case they would get caught by their parents and fraudulent letters to teachers just in case the school would call. One Friday, they bought a bottle of Brandy with some Coke and decided that they wanted to "live a little". They got to their usual spot at the swamp and drank until there was nothing left. By this time they were too drunk to notice that Ron had seen them!
When they got home Ron still wasn't there, they both felt like they needed to sleep it off. They got into bed an in less than 15 minutes, they were knocked out. When Shaun came from work he went into to Tisha's room and woke them up and he called Sadie to his room. When Sadie got into the room Shaun picked up his perfume tin from the cabinet and hit her very hard on the forehead! She stood there in shock when he asked her "WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU TODAY?” still shocked at what had happened a minute ago, she stood there in silence. He then pulled his hand back and the only thing she felt was a sting across her face "I'M ASKING YOU WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU! He repeated. Sadie was shivering. She couldn't understand why would the man who hit his own father for her, would lay his hand on her like that.
She sat down on the floor and cried as he told her that his father saw her bunking school and drinking at the swamp with his sister. Too scared to lie and even talk, she admitted that they had bunked school and were sitting there. She further explained that it was just the two of them and no boys or anything of the sort. Shaun then tells her that he is going with her to the school in the morning to find out how long this was happening.
It wasn't long after when Ron walked in and began to deal with Tisha for the same incident. Her cries and screams was all that echoed through the house as he beat her with a belt while Laura fearfully watched. It lasted for At least 22 minutes before he was too tired to continue. Sadie sat there grateful that all she got was a knock on the head and a slap across the face compared to what Tisha experienced.
The next morning Shaun stayed out of work and Sadie got dressed in her blue school uniform and they were on their way to the school. On the way they had to pass Neema's house and she saw them through the window " where you taking her Shaun?" she asked. He then called her by the gate and told her about the incident, obviously leaving out the fact that he hit her. Neema's was disappointed to hear this and asked him to please let her know what the school said. While almost halfway Sadie began to get a high fever and she felt very dizzy. They sat down at the park for a while as Shaun could see something wasn't right. Sadie suddenly began to vomit excessively. He got very worried and decided that they should go to the clinic instead, which wasn't far off from where they were. Sadie hated hospitals and clinics and when she got there the smell of cleaning detergents evoked her nausea again! She rushed to the toilets and the stench there was even worse, the toilets hadn't been flushed, the taps were barely working and there wasn't even tissue for her to wipe her hands and mouth.
She joined the queue to make her file which was rather long as there were at least thirty four or thirty five people before her. Whilst there were only two clerks attending to these patients, the queue seemed to be moving rather fast. An hour went and she finally had her turn and was sent to wait in another queue to see a doctor. Because she was wearing uniform, she was given priority and was called in next. The doctor was a shabby looking woman, she was untidy with uncombed hair, oversized glasses and a stuck up look on her face. "She looks like a hobo" Sadie said to herself. The doctor began asking her questions and writing a whole lot of scribbles on her file and then asked her to urinate in a cup. Sadie did as asked but because she didn't drink water much there wasn't much to work with there. The lady then sticks a pregnancy test into the glass and turns it upside down. She tells Sadie to get rid of her urine and come back. She did as she was told. When she got back in the doctor told her the test was positive and she was pregnant!
She couldn't believe what she just heard. Sadie had just turned 16 and she was enjoying herself. She used protection and they weren't reckless unless the condom broke, she thought to herself.
How was she going to tell Shaun? What will she say to her mother? What will her friends say about her? Let’s not forget the the scariest of all... What's going to happen when Ron finds out! She was bombarded with question after question. She took the vitamins that the doctor gave her and stepped out. She found Shaun standing outside the canteen and then they started to walk back home. She hardly said anything to him and then just blurted out "I'm pregnant". This time it was his turn to be silent as the shock took over him. He was 22 and he made a 16 year old girl pregnant. He had the same questions in his head that she did. When they got home he told his mother first, she seemed more concerned rather than upset. At no point did Shaun bring up abortion as an option. He told Sadie that he messed up and was willing to take responsibility for his actions. She was relieved and this time didn't care about her friends and their opinions... He promises to stand by her and that was enough for her. When he took Sadie home Neema wanted to know the outcome of the school issue. Sadie looked at her mother and began to cry, she told her mother about how sorry she was and about the pregnant. Shaun stood there too ashamed to speak or even comfort her. Neema was very disappointed and pissed off, she knew that her daughter had big dreams of becoming a lawyer or a teacher and now she won't have that. She went towards Shaun and gave him a hard slap on his left cheek and then told Sadie to take her things and FUCK OFF.
Sadie couldn't believe what was happening but she knew she only had herself to blame. She got "spoilt" at a young age and was throwing every dream and vision she had into the trash. She apologized once again to her mother and packed her stuff and went home with Shaun. At Shaun's house Ron was sitting in the living room sipping on his second or third beer, he saw them come in with plastic bags of clothes and immediately demanded an explanation. Now it was Shaun's turn to face the music of his actions. He sits next to Ron and tells him about the pregnancy; surprisingly he was not that angry about it as he said he knew something like this was going to happen. He agreed to let Sadie live with them but said that there were going to be rules if she wanted to stay there. "As of now, she will be the one to clean up after you and do things for you, not your mother. She will help your mother to cook and clean and there will be no business of loafing in this house, you are responsible for her, not us and anything she needs... you will take care of" he added. Shaun had no choice but to agree.
That night Sadie went to bed with a broken heart and broken dreams. She was pregnant, she had to leave school, her mother disowned her and she wasn't even going to able to find a job without a proper education. Her life was ruined and she let it happen. She made her bed and now she has no choice but to lie in it! For days she would wake up vomiting and feeling miserable. Her friends would see her at the shops and laugh and gossip about her, and her mother still hadn't contacted her. On mother's day she decided to go and wish her mother and take her some goodies. When she got there Justin opened the gate and let them in. She went into her mother's bedroom, her mother was still in bed "what you want here?" her mother asked. She told her mother that she was sorry and that she came to say "happy mother's day" and gave her mother the presents she had bought. Neema got out of the bed and put her slippers on. She took the gifts and walked into the passage towards the living room. Sadie and Shaun followed her. Neema then opened the gate and threw it out and again told Sadie to FUCK OFF. Sadie picked up the stuff and was in tears. She knew that she was a disappointment but she still needed her mother's love. Shaun felt her pain and held her tight as they walked back home.
A rough seven months have passed and Sadie is now heavily pregnant. She is going for her monthly check up with and is taking Kiki with her for company. On the way she sees one of her classmates who started to make conversation about what was happening at school etc. Sadie interrupts him and explained that she needs to go as she has an appointment. They bid each other farewell and go their separate ways. Everything went well at the checkup the baby is fine and so is mum. They stop to get some snacks at the canteen for Kiki before heading home. It must have been around 18:12pm when Shaun walked in from work and they were sitting in the bedroom and talking about the baby and the day’s events. Suddenly Kiki comes into the room and tell Shaun that Sadie has a boyfriend and she was talking to him.
Hearing that infuriated Shaun and before Sadie could even defend herself, he got off the bed and punched her full in the face! Before she knew it she felt a tingly feeling inside her nose and blood trickled down onto her lips. She ran towards the door and out of the house with Shaun right behind her, she barely made it out of the yard when he grabbed her and pushed her to the ground. She told him that she was going to her mother and she would tell her mum how he had beaten her up. This made him even more angry and the beating started again she faced her back towards him to protect her stomach and that's where all she could hear and feel was the pounding of his big fists on her back, neck and shoulders. Laura came running out of the house and pulled him of Sadie. She took Sadie to the bathroom and helped clean her face and asked if the baby was okay. She gave her some tea and left her in Shaun's bed to sleep.
The next morning Shaun had left for work and Sadie need to badly use the loo. As she turned to get out of bed her whole body was aching. With very twist she made she groaned in pain. With great difficulty she stood up, lifted her top and faced her back towards the mirror. What she saw brought tears to her eyes... her back was black and blue. Where could she turn now? She was stuck there. Her mother wanted nothing to do with her, she had no one. She went to the kitchen and helped Laura with the daily chores, had a hot shower- hoping it would bring relief to her aching bones and without any meals for the day, she went to get some rest. Shaun got home and went into the room and when he realized what he had done, he begged for her forgiveness and being homeless with nowhere else to go, Sadie gave in.
One month before the baby is due; Shaun invites Neema out with them for lunch. Neema misses Sadie as it has been months since the incident so she agrees. At the restaurant they order their meals and it's taking long because it's a weekend and it's really full. Shaun gets out of the loo and walks towards the table. He stands in front of Sadie for a while and she's confused as to why. Next minute he's on one knee with a ring in his hand and says to her "I know I am a fuck up but this fuck up will die for you. I am sorry. Will you marry me?" Sadie is surprised as it was rather unexpected because of recent events but she agrees immediately! She couldn't believe that he would be brave enough to pull a stunt like that in a packed restaurant. Surely he really loved her! She is so flooded with joy that she forgets the beating that he had given her and moves on from that. She is also overwhelmed that her mother is on talking terms with her again.
9th December 2006, and they are tying the knot.
Neema had done all the baking and made all the food arrangements for the guests that will be waiting at home for the reception. Sadie was wearing a red and white two toned Indian outfit will beautiful Swarovski crystals on it while Shaun wore a matching color pants and shirt. Sadie was dissatisfied with the fact that she couldn't wear heels and had to opt for flats on her wedding day instead. At the church the couple exchanged vows, shed a few tears here and there and then head home for the reception. You might be wondering how she was allowed to be legally married at 16... You see because she was still underage at the time and didn't possess an identity document as yet, Neema had to sign for Sadie instead.
At the reception the guests greeted the newly wedded couple and everyone had a great time. There was plenty of food, snacks and drinks to keep everyone together. That day they decided that the couple will move in with Neema as the baby was almost due and Sadie happened to tell her mum that she'd been experiencing some problems with Laura and tisha when Shaun was at work.
It was the early hours of the morning and Sadie needed to pee, being afraid of the dark as always, she wakes Shaun up to accompany her. She noticed some clear liquid on her undies and woke her sister Elly up to ask what was happening as she had a daughter and would know. "Your water broke!" she exclaimed. Sadie wasn't getting any contractions yet so she decides to wait at home a bit. As soon as the first ray of the morning sun was up they all were hunting for a lift to get Sadie to a hospital. Without a car it was very difficult and let’s not forget, how the neighbors were. Elly finally gets hold of a pastor they knew and he agrees to help them. Sadie gets to the hospital and books herself in. Shaun is sent out; they assured him that they would notify him when it's time. Four hours passed and Sadie was in excruciating pain, the pain became greater within every 3 minutes or so and finally the nurse came in and helped break her water as it was time for her to deliver the baby. Shaun was alerted and he came in and was rather nervous about what he was about to witness. He held Sadie's hand and after a few big pushes the sounds of a crying newborn echoed in the hospital corridors. It was the 24th of January 2010, at 10:16am and baby girl Ciara was welcomed into the world. The nurse held her up she was so tiny weighing only 2.830kgs. They cleaned her up, wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to Shaun while they were attending to Sadie. In the time that they had been together the couple has never slept apart... This would be their first time until Sadie is discharged.
When baby Ciara made her entrance at home, there were so many people waiting to welcome her. She was the first great Grandchild from the first grandson. Ciara was growing lovely and Sadie was no longer feeling like she ruined her life. In fact for the first time she felt like her life had some purpose. This little human being needs her and she was the only thing Sadie owned. Shaun was excited about being a dad. Always buying things for Ciara, spending time with her and even changing soiled nappies. His job must have started to be getting more stressful because suddenly he often came home and provoked fights. There would be arguments for everything. He used to get upset for the smallest issues and then begin to hit Sadie. One fight got so bad that after so long Sadie couldn't take the hiding anymore. She wanted to end her life; she went into the bathroom, stripped a razor blade with her teeth and slit open her wrists. She looked in the mirror and wondered to herself, why is she starting this again? She gave it up a long while back and what kind of an example is she setting for her daughter? Before she could even ask herself another question, she fainted. When Neema walked into the bathroom she started screaming. She saw all the blood and thought her daughter had committed suicide. An Ambulance was called and Sadie was taken to hospital.
When she opened her eyes, she realized that she was on a hospital bed that was hard and uncomfortable. Her hands were bandaged up and Shawn was nowhere to be seen. Instead, she saw many beds opposite her with patients that were tied to them.
Her episode and attempted suicide caused her to be placed in the hospital's psychiatric ward. She was not mentally disabled or insane. She was just tired of getting hurt. What was the fuss about? It's nothing she hadn't done before… That was the problem! When the doctors saw her wrists, they noticed the old cuts and there were so many. This made them think that Sadie was a danger to herself. The doctor called Shaun in and asked about her behavior at home and with the baby, then she came to Sadie and advised her that she needs to stop cutting her wrists or she will end up in an asylum. Sadie could hear the seriousness in the doctor’s voice and that frightened so she quickly signed the discharge forms and headed home.
Ciara was 8 months old when the couple moved into their first place together. It was nothing fancy, one bedroom outbuilding with an outside bathroom and toilet. They didn’t mind as they were excited to just be in their own space. They furnished it well and called it home. It was walking distance from Neema and Laura in case there was an emergency while Shaun was at work. Ciara was growing lovely they had just gotten a dog whom they named spike. As grown as he was, He was an inside dog. He was never left outside because he was so vicious. Once he got out and bit a man that was walking passed on his private parts! Lucky the matter was solved privately and they didn't have to face a lawsuit or have spike taken away from them and euthanized. He was a loving family dog. Ciara would hold onto him while training herself to walk. This place was home for 2 years until they moved.
No matter what struggles and hurdles that came by, Sadie wasn't going to quit. She would stick the abuse and the name calling just for the sake of Ciara and the fact that she was unemployed didn't leave her with much of a choice anyway. She accepted that this was her life. She was stuck in a hole that she has dug out for herself. She was a good wife; she appreciated what Shaun did and how hard he worked to support them. Sadie was a fine cook! She loved cooking and cleaning. She did everything a wife was supposed to do for her husband. Shaun wasn’t always a bitter man; there were times when he would be really loving towards her. At the age of twenty, Sadie fell pregnant with baby number two. This time there was no fuss, she was married and they lived on their own with no one to answer to. By now they were staying a big 4 bedroom house with a massive yard that could fit two large swimming pools. It was perfect for their family. On the 12th December 2010 Sadie gives birth to a healthy baby boy, Jayden. Ciara is almost 3. Sadie's family was now complete. She has her peach and her pear and her desires were fulfilled. The smiles on her children’s faces, gave her the ability to forget what used to happen between Shaun and her. She ignored what a misery her life was at times. There were many good times but the bad outweighed the good. Shaun always pointed how useless she was and never missed an opportunity to point out how he was supporting her. So Sadie decided that she needed to find a job so that she can she assist him with daily expenses and bills. How would she find a job without a matric certificate? She's a 10th grade drop out after all! She didn't give up though; she left the kids her mother-in-law Laura and went out handing out her one page curriculum vitae. Shaun used to accuse her of many other things and pick fights because he thought was lying about going and looking for work. She was lucky enough to get a phone call in that week with a job opportunity. It was at a clothing store in the mall nearby. It wouldn't pay much but it was walking distance and she would get one day off in the week. To her it was better than nothing and she accepted. She learnt to like her job and worked hard. Her boss also owned the restaurant door so she would sit there during lunch. Her Colleagues were two other ladies and it didn't take them long to grow fond of her.
In that same year, they got some dreadful news. Sadie had noticed that Jayden was at the age where he should be walking or crawling at least but he wasn't. Laura said it's because he was chubby. Sadie had other instincts and decided to seek medical advice. The doctor took some blood samples from Jayden for testing and also said that it could be delayed milestones. Sadie and Shaun waited for almost 2 months before they got the results from the lab. The lab report stated that Jayden was diagnosed with a rare muscle disorder called SPINAL MUSCULAR ATROPHY (SMA). They didn't have the slightest clue as to what that was. What made it even worse was that the doctor further explained that there was NO medication, treatment or cure for it and that Jayden might only live to be 2 years of age. Sadie stood there in disbelief. If Jayden was already thirteen months old it would mean she would only have approximately 11 months with him! Which mother wants to hear that? She just couldn't handle what she had heard and Shaun and her both broke down in tears, they didn't stop even after they got home. That day they had to break the news to Laura, Neema and Ron. They couldn't believe it either. Sadie searches for info on the internet on the illness that Jayden has, the images that popped up were scary and made her cry but she had to keep her strength up. That year it so happened that Shaun has been retrenched from work and Sadie was the only one working. This time she was supporting the house... You know what they say... "The table is round!" Jayden was growing well. Thankfully He had no brain damage, his body had low muscle bulk and the doctor mentioned that his organs would give up one at a time. Jayden was unable to stand neither was he able to lift himself up to sit. He couldn't use his legs at all while he could use his hands. Sadie couldn't just sit there and do nothing while day after day her child was losing a bit of his life. She felt so helpless that there was nothing she or anyone could do. It was all in God’s hands now. Financially things were becoming a bit strained and not long after that an article was published on the front page of a newspaper requesting assistance as well a second opinion on Jayden. She didn't want to accept that her child was dying. Not many people responded to their request but those who did, helped a lot. Jayden went for a second and even a third opinion and to Sadie's disappointment, it never changed. Sadie had started working at the restaurant next door now as a waitress. With that came other responsibilities such as washing dishes occasionally and mopping floors daily. She was the only Indian waitress in the entire shopping mall but she didn't mind because the tips she got from the customers really helped out. The only thing that bothered her was the hours; she knocked off at 22:00pm during her nightshift, sometimes later if they had a big crowd.
After making sure the place was cleaning after the last customer had left, she would have to wait outside the mall in the dark most of the time alone for her transport to go home. Sadie was robbed and almost killed twice while waiting. Once she was almost stabbed and the second time she was hit on the head with the back of a gun. Thankfully the thugs didn't harm her in any other way or try to molest her. Despite facing all these challenges and fears...she still got up every morning and went to work with a smile on her face. She was always bubbly and her customers loved her. She wore her tragedies like real armor.
She didn't have everything but she was content with what she had. She was grateful that Jayden was being well taken care off by his dad and that he was a safe. Shaun did a lot at home including the cooking and household chores. On one hand she was sad that by now Jayden was getting older and had become a prisoner of a wheelchair and on the other hand she was happy that he was mobile and could move around instead of being on the sofa the whole time.
Sadie is overwhelmed that Jayden has passed the time limit that doctors gave him and celebrates his third birthday with him. She made a vow that every year she will celebrate his birthday the best way she can because she doesn't know which birthday would be his last with her. Ciara is in the first grade and doing well. She is the brightest in her class and Sadie makes sure she is short of nothing. Shaun realizes that he needs to generate an income to help Sadie out so he decides to go into money lending, a very risky business but also very profitable with trustworthy clientele. During that year just before Christmas Laura has an accident outside and is rushed to hospital. Doctors said that she had a brain hemorrhage and surgery needed to be done. Everyone was on the edge of their seats praying and wishing everything goes well. Three different operations were done with hardly much time in between them.
It was two days before Shaun's birthday when Jayden got sick and his oxygen levels were low so, Sadie took him and sat by the door so he could get fresh air. She suddenly felt a cold breeze pass her and one of the bedroom doors slammed shut. Not even two minutes later they got a phone call saying that Laura had passed away.
Shaun was torn to pieces. The entire family was distraught it was so unexpected and it was so heartbreaking that she had died at such a young age. Laura was only forty five years old when she passed away. The day of Laura's cremation a brawl broke out between Ron and Shaun. Ron had said some very harsh things to Shaun that day. He said that Shaun must stay away from him from that day because he wasn't his blood and that Laura was the only bond they shared and now she's gone. Those words hurt him so badly and Sadie felt so helpless. Shaun was right, she was useless... She couldn't say or do anything to make him feel better. All she could do was give him a shoulder to cry on and be there for him because the next day was his birthday and he would be an emotional mess.
Shaun's birthday came and it was also the day they were going to scatter his mother's ashes. Because of the issue the night before Ron refused Shaun the rights to release his mother's ashes. Shaun stood by the door of where he and Sadie lived and cried until he had no tears left. It was his birthday and he was hurting so much. Sadie dragged him out of the house and they took their kids and went out. They had lunch and Sadie decided that since he was denied his mother's last rites she wanted to do something nice for him. So she sat there and thought and thought until she had an idea. She took Shaun to the local tattoo parlor and had a memorial piece done for him in honor of his late mother, something that no one could take from him.
It was a normal day at work for Sadie when she and the manager suddenly had a blowout. What had happened was, the manager attended to a table and took their order, he then had a personal phone call and told Sadie what they wanted to order. She punched in the order on the system as she was told. When she served them their food they were upset as some of the meals were wrong. When the customer complained to him he blamed Sadie. She wasn't going to take the blame for something she hadn't done and that was how the argument began. The manager called the big boss and complained. Because the manager was of the same nationality as his boss, he was favored and Sadie was dismissed.
Sadie was so disheartened. How was she going to put meals on the table for her family and pay their rent? She called Shaun immediately and told him what had happened. He began to fight with her and call her names as if she did it on purpose. Ever since she lost her job, there was not a day that he didn't remind her how useless she was. She used to sit and cry so much because she herself hated the situation they were now in. Had she just took the blame and kept her mouth shut that day, she would still be able to support her family! Shaun's money lending had picked up by now and he had regular customers, with that money he contributed towards the rent and other things he could afford. He didn't bother during the time Sadie was home to go and look for work however, never missed an opportunity to throw things her face and blame her. They fought about it daily.
The following weekend his friends invited him out for drinks. . . At 7:30pm Shaun was picked up leaving Sadie and the kids at home. It was just after 12:00am when she tried calling him and he didn't answer. She tried again a few minutes later and when he answered she heard some women laughing in the background. This made her very angry as she was told that she couldn't go with him because it was a "boy’s night out". She knew he must have been cheating or something and was hurt by this so she cried herself to sleep. At 4:00am she is awakened by his loud pounding on the door. When she opened the door he was so drunk that he could barely stand. He reeked of alcohol and his speech was blurred. She opened the gate and let him in. He sat on the sofa and asked her why she called him to nag. She tells him what she heard on the phone and starts accusing of him of being unfaithful. He was annoyed by her constant blabbering so he stood up and pushed her to the floor. She shouted at him and told him that she was tired of being abused like this and she would rather leave than live a life like this. She got up and wanted to go outside when he pulled her back in, locking the gate behind him. He picked up the mop that was behind the door and struck her with it repeatedly. The more Sadie screamed in pain, the harder he struck her. Even when the children woke up, he continued beating her until finally the mop broke on her back.
Ciara saw it all happen while Jayden was lying in bed. Sadie was so angry at herself, she couldn't take it anymore. He then made a phone call to his cousin to come and speak to Sadie and went to tend to the kids. As she lay on the floor in tears and in pain she realized that he has too much of anger inside him and he was surely going to kill her at this rate. Sadie decided that she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. She picked herself up from the floor and went into their bedroom. She found some thick electrical wire, stood on a stool and then threw the wire over an exposed roof truss and fastened it tight, wrapped the other piece around her neck and then kicked the stool down from beneath her. At that moment his cousin was knocking on the door, he let him in and went to call Sadie from the room. When he opened the door he was terrified when he saw her hanging from the ceiling and her eyes were closed he screamed for his cousin to bring a knife and help him her cut her down. By the time they set her free she was already bleeding from nose and to his relief still breathing. It took a while but she eventually regained consciousness. Shaun spoke to her and told her he was sorry, again. His cousin gave them both advice and left. Once again Sadie's body felt broken and she was in severe pain. This time he at least filled the tub for her and gave her a massage. The very next day he was outside and his phone began to ring. It was an unknown number Sadie answered; it was woman asking to speak to Shaun. She hung up the call and confronted him about it, he responded that the person had the wrong number.
That very week Sadie had been called in for an interview for a sales position and was very pleased and relieved when she got the job. She would be able to provide for her family again. It was at a steel company Monday to Saturday, from 8am to 5pm. A big improvement compared to her last job. She worked at that company for at least a year and a half before managing to get a loan from them to help Shaun buy his first car. They needed it because Jayden was growing and the family couldn't manage in taxis with his wheelchair any longer. It was a second hand, sky blue VW Golf with unique sport seating and in a very neat condition. The couple was happy as it was an achievement for their family. Sadie worked at the steel company for two and a half years before getting a better job with better pay and slowly they could afford to do more and go more places. Despite what she tried to do Shaun was always paranoid and accused her of cheating many times. Although it was Sadie who found plenty of evidence that Shaun wasn’t faithful to her. Whenever she saw messages or pictures on his phone from other women and confronted him about it, they would fight and she would get a beating. Sadie was a faithful wife as the Bible says "the sins of the parents shall fall on their children". Knowing about Jayden’s condition, she didn't want to risk losing him because of her sinful deeds. Her children were growing and Jayden loved his father to bits and needed his father to take him for therapy during the week to help improve his mobility. While he would never walk, the therapy helped with his hand movements etc.
Sadie was fed-up with his bullshit and knew that he would never let her leave alive. So she decided that since she was not happy and couldn't leave nor will Shaun let her, she will find a way to make herself happy. She was only twenty six years old and in those years she had experienced more troubles than people twice her age! She knew that he was being unfaithful and although two wrongs didn't make a right, she opted to doing the same. She wanted him to feel the way she felt. He didn't treat her like a wife nor did he perform any of his husbandly duties. Ciara was 10 and Jayden was 6 when the couple no longer shared the same bedroom. Shaun would sleep with Jayden whilst Ciara slept with Sadie. One night during a drinking session with friends Shaun accused her of cheating.
This time... She was going to something unthinkable. She admitted. Shaun couldn't take it! He punched her on the left side of her face and when she fell to the floor continued kicking and booting her while she was down. He hit her with anything he could find. Every time she lifted herself up she was struck down again. Bleeding from her nose and bottom lip, Sadie crawled on the floor till she got out of the bedroom and into the passage where she held onto the wall and lifted herself up. She told him that instead of punishing her he was only giving her the strength and more reason to leave him. This infuriated him even more and this time he punched her till she fell and her forehead hit the passage door frame. Sadie looked up and all she could feel was something warm and sticky dripping down her face. She lifted her hand, touched her forehead and she could feel a deep hole. She went to the bathroom mirror and saw a deep wound that her blood was oozing out from. All Shaun could do was, apologize... This time he knew she was going and she was going for good! Sadie had numerous bruises all over her body and seven stitches on her forehead. She told Shaun that she wouldn't press any charges in exchange he allows her to move out peacefully. She stayed with a friend for a week and went to work from her house until she found a place for her and the kids.
One night whilst visiting the children, Shaun called Sadie to the bedroom to talk. When she got into the room he keyed the door behind him. He then pushed her onto the bed and asked if she was sure that she wanted to leave. Sadie then begins telling him all the stuff that she'd been carrying in her heart and at the end of that they both were in tears. But Shaun had a twisted mind he was going to let her leave so easily. He told her to sit up straight and he took a razor blade and set it in front of her. He then proceeds to tell her that her family is well aware that she had a habit of self-mutilating and tells her that if she doesn't slit her wrists and take her life, he will do it for her. Usually this would be easy for her to do but this time she was scared. She detested the fact that he was once again trying to control her. She threw the blade onto the floor and it was then when he pushed down and placed a pillow over her face trying to suffocate her.
Ciara heard her mother's muffled screams for air and ran out to get help, but Jayden spoke loudly while asking where she was going and Shaun heard. He quickly let go of Sadie and ran out to call Ciara in. Ciara was almost at a neighbor's house when she heard her father call her. Being as scared as she was of him she listened and came back home. During that time Sadie sent a message to a friend and that person alerted the police. She also had a voice recording of Shaun threatening to take her life. When he got back he knew he had lost this battle. The day Sadie was moving they agreed that Ciara would stay with her while Jayden will remain with Shaun and in exchange Sadie would pay his rent as he was still unemployed. He gave Sadie absolutely nothing and even took away her wedding ring. While Sadie was moving her belongings he took Jayden and went somewhere.
After twelve years of marriage Sadie would walk out of a bond she never thought would break. Yet Shaun did everything to break her. At this point enough was enough and she was independent. She knew what she brought to the table and she wasn't afraid to eat alone. The first night in her new apartment was exciting and also a very heartbreaking time for her. She never slept away from their house before unless it was at the hospital when their kids were born. She cried and cried and she needed to because she was drowning and didn't realize it. She needed to let go of the pain inside her and focus on her new beginning. Ciara was a bit tense trying to Adjust to her new surroundings but when they slept... It was peaceful. They were no longer imprisoned with Shaun as the warden. They were free. No more cries, no more screams, no more vulgar languages and most of all... No more beatings. It had come to end.
The weekend had come and he dropped Jayden off at Sadie's place and left. Sadie made all Jayden’s favorites. She was asking him about his week when Jayden tells her " we were at daddy's girlfriend's house" it occurred to her that she was right all along and when Shaun came to pick Jayden up she told him she knew what he was doing and she was filing for a divorce. It wasn't long after when Shaun had moved in with this person and Sadie no longer felt guilty about her affair. She was happy and was living life differently. It was not even a month later and it was late at night when he brought Jayden and dropped him off with all his belongings just to be spiteful. Despite Sadie paying his rent he didn't keep up to his half of the deal. When Sadie called the police he looked at her straight in the face and denied that she had given him any money for anything. Sadie broke down.
For seven years she had worked and supported their household after he had been retrenched and till now he didn't appreciate a thing! She had limited time to find a caregiver to help with Jayden while she was at work and was lucky enough to find someone in the same complex she lived in. The children grew fond of the new person that Sadie had brought into their lives and they got along well with him. They were happy when he came by and sad when he left. The four of them would watch movies together, bake, paint and act silly. Sadie began to count all her blessings and was grateful to the new man in her life for not treating her kids badly. He was humble, kind and had a heart of gold. He accepted her with both her kids openly. While she misses many of Shaun's traits she accepted that he was now happy and she didn't regret leaving that life. Everything was peaceful and happy and she continued doing her very best for kids and herself.
6 months later, the family had just had their dinner and Sadie, Ciara and Jayden are making invites and planning Jayden's 7th birthday party. This year he wants and Avengers theme. He was fond of cars and loved superheroes. They were up till late talking making jokes and laughing and then decided to call it a night. The next day, it's October 12th 2017 and Jayden is unable to sleep. His sleep broke around 5:15am he has a fever and is feeling unwell so Sadie calls Shaun and tells him that he needs to take Jayden to the doctor. When Jayden begins speaking to Shaun, Shaun suddenly bursts into tears and said that he was on his way. Ciara and Sadie fed Jayden yoghurt and gave him some water as he has hardly eaten anything the night before. Ciara helped dress him and shortly after Shaun arrived.
He was swearing at Sadie saying she can't look after Jayden. She explained that he should take the child and go to hospital as she needs to go to work and can't stand there arguing. To their misfortune Shaun's car breaks down and now he has to wait for other transport. Sadie kisses Jayden and gets onto the bus outside her complex. She sits next to her boyfriend and tells him that something isn't right and she has a bad feeling. It was around twenty minutes later when her phone rang, it was Shaun. She answered and he said "Jayden's gone!” and he was crying nonstop. Sadie immediately got off the bus and rushed to the clinic. When she got there some of Shaun's family members were already there, they didn't greet her or anything as they were upset the couple had split and blamed her for it. She went into the room that Jayden was in and broke into tears. She could not believe her eyes. Just yesterday they had sent out invites for his party and now there lies the lifeless body of a child she brought into this world.
A child she shared her body with for nine months and shared everyday of her life with him since then, was no more. The person who used to make her smile so much and give her the strength to keep going has now brought tears to her eyes with his departure. Although Jayden had a disability, she never thought of him as a burden. He was her everything. Even Ciara was sidelined at times because Jayden was more of a priority. From small Ciara wouldn't do things that she knew Jayden couldn't do. She didn't want him to feel left out so, being the loving big sister that she was, she would deprive herself. She wouldn't go to the play pens at restaurants or even to the park. She loved her brother and took care of him. He was all she had while Sadie was at work.
The day Sadie lost her son Shaun blamed her and told her many times that she had killed her son. Which mother would do that? but there will always be a part of Sadie that feels that this was her KARMA. Sadie loved both her children and losing one of them was the hardest. She has been through so much and survived and the last thing she wanted was to let go of Jayden. She didn't care that he couldn't walk she was just grateful that he was alive; she could hear his laugh, see his smile and witness the sparkle in his eyes. Jayden passed away exactly 2 months before his 7th birthday and since Jayden loved cars so much he took his last ride to the crematorium in a huge stylish black hummer. Three days after his cremation, Sadie and Shaun released his ashes into the sea as his wish was always to go to the beach and the family never had an opportunity to take him. They both came back home and went their separate ways. Their divorce was finalized and they now live two completely different lives with two completely different people compared to what they were used to.
Sadie really loved Shaun and she will always have a bit of love that she spent some of her childhood with. She had given him twelve selfless years of her life to him. She thought that Shaun was true love but all he did was, sell her a love story and she was a compulsive buyer. The love they shared was just not enough to make their marriage work and Shaun’s temper had a very big role to play in pushing her to the edge.
It has been a year since the death of Jayden; he would have been 8 while Ciara is now 12. Till date Sadie is with the same partner and they have plans of being married soon.
In the 28 years that she has been around, Sadie has endured it all. She still sits and cry for her son daily as all he left her with was emptiness. She is surviving but not living. At the end of the day she still has Ciara and now is the time to make up for the times she made Ciara feel like she wasn't important. Ciara is her main focus and while Jayden is no longer with them, he is never forgotten. They recently went to put flowers for him at sea. What an emotional time for the family it was! While going there under those circumstances, Sadie had to bear in mind that Ciara hadn't been to the beach before so she had be strong and keep her head on her shoulders and while her heart was being ripped into a 1000 pieces, she had to wear her biggest smile and show her daughter a good time.
There is one thing that can't be taken away from her and those are his memories. His face is etched in Sadie's heart and tattooed onto her soul. He will never be forgotten. Sadie still keeps her head up despite all that she had experienced and wears her tragedies like armor, even the scar on her forehead, is a constant reminder of when life tried to get the better of her and failed. Yes, she made her fair share of mistakes but what matters is that she learnt from them. Don't do what make others happy, do what makes you happy. Women are gods strongest creations, we love more, care more, feel more and that's why we hurt more. So feel the feeling but don't become the emotion. Witness it. Allow it then release it and remember, the greatest part of a journey, isn't the destination... It's about all the stuff that happens along the way! When you when leave the toxic bits of your life behind and move forward, become a better version of yourself, one that all the people who took you for granted, will no longer have access to! Never become a prisoner of your love for someone and never become enslaved to its punishment.
Thank you for reading :)
Texte: Renae Naik
Bildmaterialien: Renae Naik
Cover: Renae Naik
Lektorat/Korrektorat: Renae Naik
Satz: Renae Naik
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 12.01.2019
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So here is the much anticipated "A CHILDHOOD GONE PART 2 - Love is a punishment. Writing this book genuinely brought tears to my eyes. At times you might feel like you are not good enough to be with someone, those are the times that you need to sit back , reflect and ask yourself if that person is good enough for you! You can change anything that You are unhappy about just by having a different mind set and a change of attitude. Yes, you will have to make a few sacrifices here and there and that's because no body said it was going to be easy, they just promised it would be worth it in the end! IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY BELOVED SUPERHERO: SHADEN RESHAUN PADAYCHY 12/12/2010 - 12/12/2017