The Patriot Center came into view as I ran down the street. I pushed myself faster and ran around the building to the back. The third door came into view and I slowed down. I reached up on top of the light and grabbed the key. Pulling the door open I ran down the hallways coming closer and closer to my destination. The curtain came into view and I sped up. I ran through the curtain and straight to the center of the stage. There was one single stage light on in the middle like always. I always came here when I needed to get away.
My life was always stressful. I'm 16 and live on my own. When I was 14 I got kidnapped for about 5 months so I have to go to therapy. I was beaten and raped almost every night. I was lucky I because I'm not able to have kids so I didn't get pregnant. My 16th birthday I had to get my G.E.D. So I could get a full time job. My dad died from a heart attack and my mom doesn't care about me. I'm emancipated which was my moms idea. When my dad died he left all his money to my mom. He was the best doctor in Fairfax Virgin so there was a lot of money left when he died.
The worst thing ever was when my best friend Eli died a month ago. He had the worst case of cancer and suffered for 5 months. He knew I needed him and that's why he kept fighting. I couldn't take seeing him suffer any long so I told him he could go if he needed to and later that night he took his last breath. His family was poor so I helped pay for half his funeral. He had asked me if I could sing at his funeral his last week of living. At that point I denied that he was going to die because I was in denial but I still promised. I knew I had to keep my promise so I did it for him even though it killed me.
I looked around the empty seating area after I caught my breath. I grabbed one of the 5 microphones and tested it. There was usually only one mic but whatever. I wasn't the best at singing but I loved it. Music was my everything. I imagined a full audience with a band playing behind me. In my head the music played and I started singing into the mic. Jasmine Villegas song 'Didn't Mean It' was my favorite song. Whenever I sang it I got really into it. My mom always called me hurtful names and then the next day would say she didn't mean it which I knew she did.
When I was done I heard clapping. I saw someone walking towards the stage but the light was to bright. When the came closer I was able to see. He was very hot with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He was about 5'9” with spiked hair. He was wearing a gray loose tank top and black sweats with black and white Nike's. He looked really familiar and that's when I knew who he was. Zayn Malik from One Direction.
“You sing really beautiful.” He accent made him even more hot. “T-Thanks.” I stuttered before wiping my cheeks with my sleeves. I didn't realize I was crying. “Sorry. That explains why there is 5 microphones.” I said as I walked and put the mic back on the stand. “No. It's ok. We had just got done with sound check but I left my phone so I had to come back to get it.” He walked over to where the drums were on a higher platform and got his phone.
“Will you be here tomorrow night?” He asked as he walked towards me. “No. I wasn't able to buy a ticket. I did want to go but I have no money.” He looked at me confused. “Wait how old are you?” I cleared my throat before answering. “16. I'll be 17 four months from tomorrow.” He was still looking at me confused. “No allowance?” He asked trying not to laugh. “Not technically. Oh and I'm Adrian by the way.” I stretched my hand out and he shook it.
“I'm assuming you know who I am?” He smiled. I nodded my head and looked down so he couldn't see me blushing. I heard a door open and people laughing and talking. “Zayn what's taking you so long? Come on I'm hungry.” I heard someone yell. I knew exactly who it was. Niall Horan. His Irish accent gave it right away. They walked down the aisle and jumped on the stage. “Zayn who's your friend?” I knew right away it was Harry by his curly hair. “Lads this is Adrian. She was singing when I came to get my phone. You guys should hear her.”
Liam walked over and grabbed one of the mic and threw it at me. I caught it with one hand and looked at all of them. “Now?” I whispered. They looked at each other and nodded. “W-what do you want me to sing?” I stuttered feeling nerves. “Whatever you want.” Niall walked over and grabbed a guitar. I knew exactly what I wanted to sing so I walked over to him and whispered in his ear. “Demi Lovato's Give your heart a break.” He smiled and I remembered he loved Demi just like me.
He started playing and I started right on time. I closed my eyes and let the words flow. I tried not to think about anyone watching me. When I was done there was clapping and cheering. I slowly opened my eyes and the guys were all around me. I was pulled in a group hug and everyone started to jump up and down. I laughed when they pulled away. “Are you ok?” Zayn asked. He wiped my cheeks and I realized I was crying again. I nodded, looked down at the floor and wiped my face again. I was lucky I didn't wear makeup.
“You should come eat with us?” Louis asked. The other 4 nodded in agreement. I thought for a minute before nodding and following them off the stage. “Wait um...” I stopped walking and when they turned around I continued “I don't have money so um I should-” I was about to finish but Zayn cut me off “I pay for you love.” I shook my head but he shushed me and grabbed my hand, pulling me behind him. We walked out the door and got straight into there van. “Paul she's coming with us to lunch.” Louis shouted to the guy behind him. Paul nodded and turned back to the driver.
When the car started to slow I heard screaming. I looked out the window and saw all the screaming fans. I looked back at the boys who all looked excited and were smiling out the window at everyone. There was at least 100 girls waving and screaming. Even holding up banners and snapping pictures of the van. “Ok guys no pictures or autographs till after we eat.” Everyone nodded but I just stared out the window. I was never good around a lot of people. I usually had panic attacks. The door opened and the screaming got louder.
All the guys got out and waved to everyone. Zayn reached back and grabbed my hand pulling me behind him. Some people looked at me weird and others took photos. Great now people are going to think we are a couple. Once we got inside I felt like I couldn't hear anything. My ears were ringing and I was a little shaky. We followed our waiter upstairs and to a private area. There was already a girl sitting at the table we were sitting at. Liam walked up to her and pecked her on the lips. That must be Danielle, Liam's girlfriend. Everyone else said hi and sat down.
I sat next to Zayn, on my right, with Niall on my left. “Adrian this is Danielle. My girlfriend.” Liam said after everyone calmed down. Danielle smiled at me and I smiled back. “It's nice to meet you.” She said as she shook my hand across the table. “It's nice to meet you to.” I replied as I settled in my seat. Everyone looked at the menu for a few minutes before the waitress came. Everyone ordered there drinks before me. When I looked up to tell her what I wanted we connected eyes. She looked really familiar.
“Adrian? Oh my gosh how are you?” She said as she hugged me. “I'm good.” I said after I realized it was my moms friend Shelby. “Well I'll get you guys your drinks. Oh Adrian tell your mom I said Congratulations and sorry I couldn't be at her wedding last yesterday.” I looked at her like she was crazy as she walked away. Wedding? My mom got married. “Will you guys excuse me for a second.” I got up and ran after her before anyone answered me. When I caught up to her, I tapped her on the shoulder. “Did you say wedding?”
“Yeah. Wait you didn't know she got married?” I walked away from her without replying and went straight to the bathroom. Once in there I pulled out my phone and scrolled to my moms number. After 3 rings she answered. “What do you want?” She yelled right when she answered. “Why didn't you invite me?” I whispered in the phone. She was silent for a second. “Your not my daughter. Never was. Never will be.” She said it like it was normal. I looked in the mirror as the tears slowly slide down my face.
“But I'm your daughter. I deserve to be there. How could you not invite your own daughter to your wedding?” I yelled in the phone. She said nothing back and instead just hung up. I walked out of the bathroom and straight to Shelby. “Do you have a paper and pen I could use?” She nodded and handed me them. I wrote a small note saying I was sorry but I had to go and signed my name. I gave it back to her and asked her to give it to the one I was sitting by on the right.
She nodded and walked away. I felt bad for ditching him but I had to leave. My heart was pounding loud and my breathing was coming out uneasy. I slipped through the opposite door and ran through the crowd. No one noticed me cause they were to focused on waiting for the boys. Any girl would be lucky to meet them but I got asked to lunch with them and ditched on them. My life was crazy right now and I couldn't deal with any crazier shit at the moment.
A cab and 20 dollars later I was climbing up the stairs to my apartment. I unlocked the door and slide inside before re-locking it. My breathing was finally calming but I still felt shaky. I threw my phone on the couch and ran into the bathroom. Shoving my hand all the way to the back of the cabinet, it inclosed around my sharp steel savior. I slowly slide up my sleeve and looked down at my scar filled arm. It was two weeks today that I hadn't cut but I was about to break that. My right arm was already cut to much so I had to move to my left arm.
I watched as the blood slide down my arm from the 5 new deep cuts. After about 10 minutes I got up and cleaned up the blood before covering up my arm in gauze and then an ace bandage. I walked into my room feeling satisfied. Carefully, I changed my shirt to a tank top and my pants to basketball shorts. I grabbed my phone from the living and turned it on loud so I could hear my alarm tomorrow. I had to get up at 10 for therapy that's at 12. After getting comfortable I instantly fell asleep.
The next morning I woke up to my stupid alarm. I got up and got in the shower. I unbounded the wrap around my arm and washed the already healing cuts. When I got out I slipped into skinny jeans, a tank top and my black hoodie. I threw my hair up and put on a little eyeliner. After putting my shoes on and grabbing my phone, I ran out the apartment. I got to the bus stop right when the bus got there. I got my bus pass out of my pocket and payed before taking a seat in the back.
After getting off the bus I had to walk across the street to the building. I walked straight inside and up to the desk. “Hey Adrian. Miss. Paler is waiting for you.” The desk lady said. Everyone knew me here cause I’ve been going here for a year and a half. I walked down the hallway to the 5th door on the right. When I opened the door she was sitting at her desk on the phone. She pointed to the couch on the other side of the room and held up a finger. I nodded and walked over to the couch and sat down.
She finally said goodbye before grabbing her paper, pen, and walking over to the chair that was in front of the couch. “How are you today Adrian?” She pushed her glasses higher on her nose as she stared at me. “Fine.” I answered as I played with my sleeves. She sighed and put her paper on the table. She should know by now that I hate talking about my life. “Can you tell me something that happened since the last time I saw you?” She asked as she studied me. I sighed and leaned back. “My mom got married but I didn't find out till the next day.” She nodded and wrote something down before looking back up at me. Here comes the drilling.
“How does that make you feel?” The worst question invented.
“Have the nightmares got any worse?”
I thought about it before shaking my head. Every night I had the same nightmare. The guy that kidnapped me came back, even though he isn't alive anymore, and killed me. He always said the same thing before stabbing me in the heart. “You are mine and if I can't have you. No one will.” Last night was the first night in a long time that I didn't dream. Not even did I wake up screaming or sweating. “I actually didn't dream last night.” She nodded and wrote some more things down before asking about other things.
20 minutes later my session was over. I found out that Miss. Paler was moving. She told me that if I felt like I needed someone to talk to I could always call her. It was kind of a relief that I was over with therapy. I hated talking to people about my problems and just have them feeling bad for me. I might get worse if I don't go talk to someone but it's whatever. The way home was a lot faster than the way there. When I got home it was only 3:30. I made lunch and watched a movie.
Halfway through the movie there was a knock at the door. I was hesitant to answer until I look through the peephole. Danielle, Liam's girlfriend, was standing there on my porch step. She had her purse in one hand and a large black duffel bag. I opened the door and she smiled at me. “Come in.” I said smiling back. She said a quick thank you and sat on my couch. “I'm not trying to be mean but why are you here?” I asked after I got settled next to her. “I'm here to take you to the guys concert and before you say anything I have an extra ticket.” She smiled as she pulled the tickets out her purse. “Why did you want me to go?” I asked as she shoved the tickets back in her purse. “Zayn has not stopped talking about you so me and the guys are surprising him with you.”
“W-what? Why would he be talking about me?” I asked as I blushed deeply. I didn't understand why he would talk about me out of everyone in the world. He was a freaking celebrity. He could have anyone he wanted. He was also sexy so that's a plus. “I think he likes you. Only if you knew each other for only 2 hours I think it was like love at first sight. I have never seen him like this.” She smiled and shook her head before continuing “Like how Liam looks at me.” She finished looking at her feet. I could see a tint of pink on her cheeks.
Liam and Danielle were by far the cutest couple ever. I wished a guy would look at me like that. He looked at her with love clear in his eyes. There was no way Zayn looked at me with love. I had only known him for what? 2 hours? There was just no way. I did want to go to the concert tonight though. I had always wanted to see them singe live. But there was a problem. What if people started getting the wrong idea. I was stopped with him at a restaurant and now people would see me at his concert sitting next to Danielle. What the hell. Who cares?
“I'll go with you.” I said smiling. She smiled bright before grabbing my hand and pulling me into the bathroom. “Yay! Were getting ready together and then we have to call one of Paul's body guards to come get us.” I looked at her confused. “Why? We can't- Oh wait never mind.” She smiled and nodded when she knew I got it. We had to have a body guard with us because we could be attacked cause people knew who she was and I pretty sure Liam wants her safe. Plus people might not like that I was seen with Zayn so we had to be on the safe side.
She decided that we will do our hair and makeup first before picking out our outfits. “We should only put a little makeup on you cause you have natural beauty.” She said as she started pulling out her makeup bags from the duffel bag. “You should only wear a little to cause you don't need any at all.” She smiled and thanked me before agreeing. After she put only light eyeshadow and a little bit of eyeliner and mascara on me she curled my hair. I sat in the bathroom while she did her makeup and hair. It only took her 30 minutes for both.
“Can I pick out your outfit?” She asked as we walked into my room. I hesitantly nodded and pointed to my walk in closet. She squealed and ran to my closet before going through everything. I sat on my bed and waited for her. 10 minutes later she walked out with a black ruffly tank-top and light wash skinny jeans with my full black vans. I instantly shook my head. There was no way I was wearing a tank-top or ever a short sleeved shirt. I couldn't let anyone see my wrists. “Why can't you wear this? It's a cute outfit.” She said disappointed.
I held up my finger and walked around her into the closet. I looked for a sec before grabbing my long sleeved black v-neck shirt. “Can I wear this instead?” She looked at it a sec and shook her head. She held the tank-top back in my face. “It's going to be hot. Were in the seats in front of the stage. Why do you always were long sleeves?” I looked at the floor trying to think of something. “I just um-I just hate my arms.” I turned away from her and walked over to the bed. She sat next to me and looked at me.
“Tell me the real reason.” She was good but I wasn't a good liar anyways. It was like I had known her for years but I had only known her since yesterday. I sighed. There was no way I would tell her the real reason. No way in hell. “I feel uncomfortable in anything but long sleeves.” I didn't mean it to but it came out a question. She sighed and shook her head. “I won't judge you. Just trust me. I won't tell a soul.” I gave up and sighed deeply. What else was I supposed to tell her? She wouldn't give up and maybe she won't judge me.
I slowly turned away from her, pulled up my sleeves and turned back to her. I closed my eyes keeping the tears in as I heard her gasp. She grabbed my wrist and started tracing the scars all up my arms. As she got to the new ones on my left arm I winced. She instantly pulled back and started apologizing. I told her it was fine and the room fell silent. She was the one to break the silence “How long have you been doing it for?” I thought for a second before answering. “Since I was 14.” She nodded and looked at her feet. “Do you mind me asking why you started?”
“No it's ok. I've just had a very rough life I guess.”
“Wanna talk about it?” She asked as she put her hand on my thigh a reassuring way.
“Long story short um I was kidnapped when I was 14 for about 5 months. They abused and raped me everyday. Then when I got back I've had nightmares every night. My dad died 6 months ago from a heart attack. My bestfriend died a month ago from cancer and he was the only one ever there for me. Me and my mom don't really get along so she didn't give me any of my dads money he left behind. She kicked me out of the house so I had to drop out of school and get my G.E.D so I could pay my bills. Come to find out she got remarried and I wasn't invited that's why I left dinner yesterday.” When I was done I was all out of breath.
“I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I understand now. Oh my um- I'm sorry.” She sniffed and only then did I realize were both crying. I laughed and she joined as we tried fixing our makeup. “Don't feel bad. It's not yours or anyone's fault.” She nodded and pulled me in for a hug. After a few minutes pulled back and laughed again. “We should get dressed. The concert starts in 2 hours and we still have to get all the way there.” I nodded and left her in the bathroom to change will I went to my room to change.
Getting through all the traffic was hectic. I ended up having to tell the driver the back way so we could get there quicker. We ended up at the back of the stadium and were lucky no fans had found it. The door was locked so while Danielle was watching our back I grabbed the key and unlocked the door. We heard screaming and looked over the side. There was at least 100 fans running our way. We pulled the door open and ran before they got close. I slammed the door and locked it. “That was close. I don't even know where Ron went.” Ron was the body guard who Paul sent to get us. We had lost him after we got out the van.
“I don't either.” I said as we both started laughing. “Well it's a good thing we didn't get mobbed.” I said while laughing. She nodded and stood up before helping me up. I followed her to where there dressing room was. Before knocking she looked over at me and pointed at my sleeves. I pulled them down more so the almost covered my hands. I was thankful that she understood that I wanted to keep it from the guys. She knocked a couple times and we heard shuffling around before someone called out to hold on.
A second later Paul was the one to open the door. He smiled and let us both in before closing it behind us. Louis was getting his hair done and so was Niall. I didn't see Harry or Zayn but Liam was putting a shirt on. When he say Danielle he smiled and hugged her. “You got her to come I see.” He said as he hugged me. “It wasn't that hard actually.” She laughed as I blushed. Liam got called to get his hair done so me and Danielle went and sat in another room on the couch.
About 20 minutes later all the guys, except Zayn, walked in all ready. “We plan on not letting Zayn see you until he is on stage.” Harry said after we all hugged. I nodded and let them lead me out the room. I heard music and a huge crowd screaming. They had a lot of fans and I bet they all love it. We all followed Paul to a secret door so me and Danielle could sneak into the crowd. After we said goodbye and good luck a different security guard took us to our seats in the front row. Some fans said hi and others just took pictures from a far.
“5 minutes until they come on stage.” Danielle yelled over the music. I nodded my head and leaned back in my chair. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I looked at it. There was a missed call from my mom. I didn't bother calling her back and turned off my phone. She didn't deserve my attention. After her lying and not inviting me to her wedding she lost all my respect. Well little respect she did have was all gone now. I felt a hand squeeze my hand and looked up. Danielle was smiling at me but I could tell she was worried. “Are you ok?” I smiled and nodded before looking back up at the stage.
When there was one minute left they started a video on the screen showing the guys. They showed Louis driving and picking up each of the guys. It took turns saying what each of them like and dislike. It started counting down from 5 and everyone was screaming. Me and Danielle joined in on screaming the numbers. At 1 all the guys came running out and instantly started singing 'Na-Na-Na'. All their voices were amazing. When Liam was doing his solo he winked at Danielle and blew her a kiss. I could clearly see her blush.
Zayn started his solo but was on the other side of the stage. I looked at Danielle disappointed but she pointed back to the stage. They were all right in front of us singing the chorus. I looked at Zayn the whole time and he finally saw me. He stopped singing right when our eyes met. He smiled at me and recovered right for his solo. The whole song he had a big smile on his face. When there first song was over they took turns thanking everyone for coming and saying they had the best fans in the world.
After that they sang 5 more songs. Not all in a row because they would go off stage for a sec and then come back on. After they finished singing 'More Than This' Niall thanked everyone again for coming out. Liam stepped up next and spoke. “You guys are the best fans. Me and the boys also think you are the best on twitter.” They was an uproar in the crowd and he smiled. “So we decided that we were going to share a couple of our favorite tweets for you guys.” Everyone in the crowd was screaming and jumping up and down.
The screen behind them popped up a twitter question and Louis went first. It wasn't a question it was just stating that the girl and her friend came all the way from Canada to be here. They found the girl and her friend in the crowd and thanked them for there dedication. Each of the guys did their favorite tweet with Zayn going last. Liam's was a girl asking them to rap the 'Fresh Prince of BelAir' rap. Harry's was another person saying they love him and asked him to prom. He said he would go just to be nice and the girl actually freaked out. Niall's was asking them all to do the 'Niall jump' but no one could do it better than him. When Zayn started talking my heart started racing.
“This is my favorite tweet. It says `Do any of you have girlfriends or crushes on anyone? Smiley face.' I'll start this one off and say I don't have girlfriend but I do have a crush on someone.” He chuckled a little into the mic while the other guys were saying they knew who it was. Danielle grabbed my hand and I looked her. She mouthed 'You' to me before squealing and looking back at the stage. I was really hoping it was me. He looked at me and winked and I couldn't help but blush.
After that Liam said he had a girlfriend while Louis, Niall, and Harry didn't. When they were finished with the tweets they ran off stage after Harry yelled “There's a party in Fairfax!” A couple seconds later they ran back on stage and started singing again. Threw every one of their songs me and Danielle were singing and yelling. I knew that the last song they were going to sing was 'What Makes You Beautiful' because it was their first song ever. The second to last song ended up being 'Moments' which was my favorite song. When the last song was over they thanked everyone once again and ran off stage.
Paul signaled for me and Danielle to follow him. He lead us through a back door and to the guys dressing room. He pushed open the door and all 5 of them were laying on the couches and chairs. They were sweating and breathing heavy but still smiled when we walked through the door. “Good job guys.” Me and Danielle said at the same time. We all laughed and they thanked us. Danielle went and sat next to Liam who gladly put his arm around her. The only empty seat was on the couch by Zayn so I went and sat down by him. He smiled at me and I smiled back.
“Thanks for coming.” He said as he took off his over jacket to show a short sleeved white shirt. “Your welcome.” I said back with confidence. Usually I would cower away when talking to guys but I felt comfortable with Zayn. “Guys we have to leave here soon.” Paul said as he popped his head in from the hallway. Niall groaned and said something about needing a nap while the other 4 laughed at him. Louis went into the hallway followed by Harry saying they were going to talk to Paul. “So did you guys have fun?” Danielle asked to fill in the silence. I think she knew I was starting to feeling uncomfortable.
“It was amazing. I had a blast.” Niall yelled when he popped up from the pillow. We laughed but Zayn and Liam agreed with him. After that Louis came back in and grabbed my hand before pulling me into the hallway. Zayn tried to follow but he pushed him back on the couch. Harry and Paul were outside in the hallway. “We decided you should come with us on tour.” Harry started. I tried to say that I couldn't but Louis cut me off. “All you have to do is have Paul talk to your parents. It would mean a lot to Zayn.” He tried doing puppy eyes and they were actually starting to work.
“I live on my own.” I said and it crushed all hope.
“Wait. I thought you were 16?” Harry asked.
“I am. It's called emancipation.”
“What about your parents?” Louis asked. I sighed and rubbed my back of my neck before answering. “My dad died and let's just say I'm not my moms favorite person.” He nodded in agreement and said he was sorry for bringing it up. “What's the problem though?” Paul asked. I had almost forgot he was there. “Well I won't be able to work therefore I won't be payed and I won't be able to pay my bills.” They all looked like they were think before Harry screamed 'I got it!” and ran back into the room. Me and Louis looked at each other. He shook his head and chuckled. Harry came back out pulling Danielle and Liam after him.
“Do you have a family member that would help you move?” I looked at him confused. “If I moved where will I live when I come back from the tour?” He smiled and looked at Louis and Liam. They both nodded and all looked at me. “Move to London with us.” Liam said. Are they serious? No they can't be. I was about to talk but Louis butted in. “If you decided you didn't want to we will buy you a apartment after the tour.” I thought about it for awhile before nodding my head.
The plan was that me and Danielle stay back and pack my apartment. We were going to miss there next concert but we would meet them for the 3rd one and the rest after that. I was going to call my aunt and ask her if I could put all my furniture in her spare empty bedroom. Since I only had one couch a dresser and a bed it would all fit. Danielle happily agreed to help me stay and pack. Then we would rent a car and drive to wherever the 3rd concert was. It was a perfect plan.
At first I was nerves that Zayn wouldn't want me to go on tour with them but when we told him and Niall they were both happy. After about 20 minutes of talking and hanging out Paul came and told them they were leaving. It was sad to see them go but I knew me and Danielle would see them in a few days. Paul assigned us 3 security guards that would go with us everywhere. He was going to only have 1 come with us but the guys said 3 is better. I didn't get it until we showed up at my apartment. Their was only about 20 fans but most of them had signs that said 'Stay away from Zayn' and stuff like that.
I looked at Danielle who had a worried expression. She noticed me staring and tried to smile but it didn't work. How could people that don't even know me hate me so much? We had to go to the office so I could tell them I was moving out. They didn't make me pay my rent this month cause I was moving. It ended up being a good thing I was only a couple apartments away from the office. We had to run from the office to my apartment while the 3 security guard guys tried to hold the girls back. We ran up the stairs and straight into my apartment.
“That was scary.” I said through breaths. She nodded and looked out the window. They were all down below holding up their signs and chanting. She took out her phone and started videoing it. “This is not ok.” She said mainly to herself as she sent it took Liam. I sighed and sat on the couch. “Do you think I should even go anymore?” I asked as she sat next me to. “Don't let them get you down. It happened when I started dating Liam but after he told everyone he was happy they left me alone. Just give it time. People will love you like we do soon.” Right when she was finished her phone went off and she looked at it.
“Do you have a twitter?” She asked after a second. I nodded and told her it was 'Adrian_Johnston'. She grabbed my laptop of the coffee table and told me to get on twitter. I didn't understand why but didn't argue. When I was signed in I had a new follower. “I am now a Adrian Johnston follower.” Danielle said as she took my computer. I smiled and shook my head. After a couple minutes of whatever she was doing she handed me it back. “And so are Liam, Harry, Niall, Louis and Zayn. Look at this.” She pointed to my followers and they started to go up.
“Listen to what Zayn posted. 'I thought you guys wanted me to be happy? So if she is what makes me happy why are all of you hating on her? She doesn't deserve it.' ” My eyes widened. Why would he tell his fans off for me? “He isn't going to lose fans is he?” I asked worried. She instantly shook her head and pointed to the comments. 'We support you Zayn.' and other things like 'If you're happy. We're happy.' were posted on his post. There was over 1000 comments already.
“Well let's get you packed. It's already 2 in the morning.” My eyes widened and right on cue we both yawned. She helped me off the couch and we walked into my room. I grabbed my huge suitcase from the top of the closet and laid it on the bed. Then my small duffel bag for my shoes. “All my clothes will fight in this and my shoes in the duffel bag.” She nodded and went to closet while I went to my small dresser in the corner. When I was done with folding them and putting them in the suitcase she was still doing the closet. “My aunt get's up for work at this time. Ima go call her.” She nodded and I went into the hallway.
She finally answered after the 4th ring. “Aunty will you and John do me a huge favor?” I asked as I crossed my fingers. She was my only hope. “Sure. What is it love?” Oh thank god. “Can you guys come tomorrow and get my stuff from my apartment and put it in your spare bedroom?” It sounded like she was talking to someone in the background before she answered. “Sure baby girl. I'll have your cousin and all his friends do it. Why do you need us to?” She sounded concerned and I understood why. She knew my situation and has given me money many times. “I'm just going with a friend to follow a boy band.” She sighed which caused me to laugh. I thanked her and hung up.
“Danielle she said yes!” I yelled as I walked into my room. She got up and hugged me before laying back down on the bed. She had managed to pack all my clothes and my shoes. Thank god I didn't have to do it. I always sucked at packing. She helped my moving the bags into the living and then I let her shower. When she was done showering I got in. After I got out she was already asleep on my bed so I went and laid in the living room. Right when my head hit the pillow I fell asleep without a thought of cutting.
We had slept in until 1 in the afternoon on accident. Around 3 my cousin came with is friends and cleared out my apartment. It only took them an hour and right after they left we got our stuff and left to. Instead of renting a car me and Danielle road with the security guys. It was kinda awkward at first but we just kept to ourselves. We stopped at a gas station on the way out of town for tea. 5 hours later we were pulling up to the stadium they were currently singing in. We decided to just wait on the bus because they only had one song left to sing. The driver took both my bags and put them in the luggage department on the side of the bus.
“Finally.” I muttered as we climbed on the bus and sat at the little round table. “That was a very awkward road trip.” Danielle said as she drank what was left of her tea. I agreed and leaned back with my head on the window. “Can we tweet a picture?” She asked a few minutes later. I laughed and nodded. She pulled out her phone and we both fixed our hair. My long black hair was in a high pony tail and her's was curly. We took a few pictures and choose our favorite one. We both were blowing kiss with our eyes closed. She posted it on tweet and wrote 'We made it! #OfficallyOnTour' for the caption. A lot of people started commenting and re-tweeting it.
We heard talking and looked out the window just as the guys were coming out of the building. You could hear the screaming of the fans as they walked toward them. Harry was the first one to run on the bus. “Hey ladies.” He yelled as he sat next to me. “Still hyped up I see.” I said as he started tapping his fingers on the table. “Harry come sign a few autographs before we go.” Niall yelled from outside the bus. I wondered why the rest of the guys weren't on the bus yet. Harry grabbed my wrist and I kept from wincing when he put pressure on the newer cuts. He pulled me with him off the bus as I pulled Danielle. When we got out Harry went running towards the gate while me and Danielle stayed by the bus door.
“Dang do none of these girls have bed time?” Danielle said as she laughed. I shurgged and laughed with her. We watched as the guys went down the row taking pictures, doing autographs, and even hugging people. A few minutes later Paul told them we had to leave so they started towards the bus. Me and Danielle climbed on and sat back down at the table. Zayn sat next to me and Liam sat next to Danielle while the other three sat on the couch. “Paul can we stop and get food before we leave?” Niall yelled up to the front. I laughed and shook my head at him.
“We're stopping at a gas station right outside the city.” Paul yelled back. Niall smiled and yelled a quick thank you back to him. I glanced at Zayn and noticed he was looking at me. He smiled at me and I smiled back. “Is anyone else hot?” Liam said as he pulled off his long sleeve plaid shirt off and revealed his plain white shirt. Everyone else started taking off there long sleeved shirts but Louis cause he was already wearing one. Danielle looked at me when she started to take off her jacket but realized I couldn't so she kept it on. I sighed in relief and silently thanked her.
We goofed around and talked until we got to the gas station. While everyone else went into get something I stayed outside and decided I should call my mom back. She had called me about 20 minutes ago but I didn't want to answer. Not even one ring went by before she answered. She sounded drunk and like she had been crying for hours. “Mom.... Hello? …. Mom?” I thought she had hung up on me at first but she had just dropped the phone. “I- I need money. Todd left me and took all my money.” She stuttered into the phone. I swear I could spell the alcohol through the phone. “What do you want me to do about it?” I asked. She had no right to ask me for money.
“Give me money. You're my daughter!” She yelled into the phone. “I'm not your daughter remember? Never was. Never will be.” I whispered as the tears slide down my face. She continued to screaming things into the phone as I hung up. Never have I ever wanted to cut so bad in my life. When I noticed they were coming out the store I whipped my face with my sleeve and put my phone in my purse. “I'm going to the bathroom then we can go.” They all nodded except for Danielle and I could tell she was on to me. “I'll go with you.” She said as she handed her drink to Louis and asked him to take it to the bus for her. I gritted my teeth, turned, and walked into the store.
Once we were in the bathroom I turned back towards her. “I don't need a babysitter.” I said harshly. I really didn't mean to but I could have come by myself. “What's wrong?” She asked as I rummaged through my purse. I looked at but looked back down before I answered. “Everything.” I whispered as fresh tears slide down my cheeks. “I just need to forget.” I finished as I pulled out my savior. Before I could even move Danielle was by my side yanking it out of my hands and shoving it in her pocket. That was the only one I had. The others were in my suitcase. “You can forget some other ways. You have to stop.” She walked in to a stall, through my razor into the toilet and flushed it.
“I'm trying to help you. If you don't try to this will never work.” With that, she walked out the bathroom. I ran to the stall but it was already gone. “Fuck!” I grabbed my purse off the floor and walked out the bathroom. When I climbed on the bus there was music playing and everyone was singing. Maybe this was how I could forget. I sat on the couch next to Niall and joined in with the singing. Danielle smiled at me and I could tell she knew this was me forgetting. That's what I'll have to do from now. Sing whenever I feel like I'm going to break.
When the song was over Paul came back and told us to go to bed. The beds were little cubbyholes in the wall of the sides of the bus. They were stacked with three on top of each other on both sides. Me and Danielle got the bottom cubbyhole. Zayn got the one above me and Liam got the one above Danielle. Harry above Zayn and Niall above Liam. Louis slept in the back room on the round couch where the tv was. We joked around for a little bit but slowly everyone started falling asleep. I was the last one right after Niall. By the time I got to sleep it was already 9 in the morning.
“Guys wake up. Sound check time.” Paul yelled. There was lots of groaning and words said before they actually got up. I looked at my phone and saw it was 5 in the afternoon. Their concert didn't start until 8 tonight so it was enough time to get ready. After the guys left me and Danielle got up. “Morning.” I said when she sat up. “More like afternoon.” She laughed and got up. I followed her off the bus and we grabbed our suitcases. Once in the building we had to have someone show us where we could get ready. They showed us to a room that was right across from where the guys were getting ready.
It only took a hour for us to get ready. She straightened her hair and I curled mine. Neither of us did drastic makeup but a little bit of eyeliner and mascara. She was wearing a tube-top, skinny jeans, and high heals. I was wearing white and purple Nike's, short shorts, and a white tank-top with a purple jacket over. I never really wore girly clothes, only sometimes. We packed our stuff up after we brushed our teeth and headed out the building.
“I think the guys are just starting the sound check we should go watch.” Danielle said as we put our suitcases in the compartment. “Were aloud to?” I asked in disbelief. She looked at me crazy and said a quick yeah before pulling me behind her. We had no idea where we were going so we followed the music. Through some curtains was a giant arena. The guys were on the stage singing and changing positions. It took a good minute to get down all the stairs but when we got to the stage we sat down. It ended up only took 20 minutes for them to figure everything out.
When they finished me and Danielle jumped on the stage. It was a lot cooler looking from the stage. For a minute I was awestruck but before I could really enjoy it my anxiety started creeping up. I kept having to tell myself to calm down and that nobody was here to see me. It was a good thing that nobody was here to see me because I wouldn't be able to do it. Having all the focus on me was something I didn't like. Ever since I had been kidnapped and found I rather be by myself. I could only sing when I was alone or when I wasn't the only one singing like in choir. It was weird to think that One Direction was actually the first to hear me sing. Never had I ever pictured them being the ones to actually discover my only talent.
“Adrian?” There was a hand waving in my face that brought me back to reality. I looked at who it belong to and found a worried looking Zayn. “Are you ok?” I nodded and looked around the theater again. “Sorry. I space out a lot.” He nodded and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. As soon as he let go all warmth left my body. I wanted to pull him back and hug him but that sounded to creepy. “We're going eat real quick. You guys coming?” Louis asked and that's when I noticed me and Zayn were the only ones on the stage. “No thanks. I'm not hungry.” I said and sat on the floor of the stage. Louis asked Zayn if he was going but he said no and sat next to me.
“So.. How are you liking the famous life?” I asked after a few minutes. He stared out into the nonexistent crowd for a second, smiling, before he looked at me. “I love it. But sometimes I wish I could have a day off and just hang out with friends.” I nodded to show I understood. “What did you use to do before we kidnapped you?” We both laughed and for some reason I couldn't pull away from his stare. His hazel eyes shined in the stage lights and I almost forgot he asked me something. I pulled myself back to reality and away from his eyes. “Basically just work, pay bills, and sleep.”
“No school?” His voice held confusion but his eyes showed something else. “No. I had to drop out so I could work and pay for my apartment.” He still looked confused for I continued. “My dad died about 6 months ago and left all his money to my mom. Me and my mom never really got along so she kicked me out and I got emancipated so I could live alone.” He nodded to show he understood. I could tell he felt bad for me but that's not what I wanted. I don't need pity. Some people have amazing life's and others don't. That's just how the world is.
“You didn't have a roommate?” I swallowed the lump in my throat before answering. “I did but he died a month ago from cancer.” I tried to hold it in but the tears streamed down my face. He scooted closer to me and put an arm around my shoulders. “I'm sorry.” He whispered as he whipped away the tears. I shook my head and leaned more on him. “You didn't know.” It was silent for a little while after that. It wasn't one of those awkward silences but more like we both needed time to think. He was warm and I leaned closer to him. His hand rubbed up and down my arm in a comforting way.
“What's your favorite color?” I sniffed and laughed a little. “Purple.” He nodded and looked down at me. “I can tell. Mine is red.” I smiled as he pulled me up from the ground. “Where are we going?” I asked as he helped me off the stage. “I have something for you. Do you like hats?” I nodded and ran with him towards his dressing room. When we got in the room he rummaged through a bag before pulling out a hat. It was the same purple as my jacket and it had 'Malik' written on the front of it. I smiled and hugged him. “Thank you.” He nodded and pulled me over to a mirror. He motioned for me to put it on so I did. It didn't looked right, so I turned it around and put it on backwards.
“You look beautiful.” I blushed and covered up my face. “You're the only guy I knew that can make me blush.” I felt his hands pull away my arms from my face. “Maybe that's a sign.” He whispered. I looked at him as he leaned in. Right when our lips were about to touch the door busted open. Zayn jumped back and I looked at the floor. “Did we interrupted something?” Harry said with a smirk. Neither of us answered which caused everyone but me and Zayn to laugh. “You guys are to cute.” Danielle said. I blushed and looked at Zayn who was also blushing. “Well were on in 15 so we should probably get back stage.” Louis stated.
“I didn't know it was that late. Let's go.” Zayn led the way out the door and the rest of the guys followed. I went to follow but Danielle grabbed my hand. “So what happened?” She asked with a curious voice. I pulled her along so we wouldn't lose them. “Nothing we just talked.” It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the whole truth. Maybe it's a good thing that we didn't kiss. I knew she already knew but I didn't want to talk about it. While the guys went backstage, me and Danielle found our seats in the crowd. “Adrian!” I heard a small voice yell somewhere in the crowd. I looked to my right and saw a little girl who was about 7 waving at me. I smiled and wave to her. She walked over to me and I swear she was the cutest little girl ever. She was bald and had no eyebrows or eyelashes
“Can she have a picture?” Her mom asked. The little girl had a one direction shirt on that had all the guys pictures. Also saying she was their number one fan. It swallowed her small size but she still made it work. “Or course. A beautiful girl like you always needs a picture.” I smiled as she squealed and jumped on my lap. Her mom happily took the picture. She then asked Danielle for a picture and she of course agreed. After that we signed her shirt and she happily ran back to her chair. “Thank you guys so much. She has cancer and this was her last wish. Getting to see One Direction.” She shook our hands and then walked back to the little girl. There was tears in mine and Danielle's eyes.
“I wish their was someway we could get her in to meet them.” Danielle said while she wiped her eyes. I looked at her and nodded my head. “What if before we leave tonight we could get her to meet them?” She thought about it before pulling out her phone. I looked over her shoulder and saw she was texting Liam asking him if they could meet her. She told him that the little girl has cancer and her last wish to meet them. A minute later Liam texted back saying they would we just had to ask Paul. I told Danielle I would ask. She helped me find him in the security people in front of the stage and pushed me towards him.
I got to the gate and waved him over. “Everything aright?” He asked. I instantly nodded before looking back at Danielle. She waved me on and I looked back at him. “Can- maybe- um- Can the guys meet a fan. She's only 7 and she's dieing from cancer. Her last wish was to meet them.” He sighed and rubbed his neck before nodding his head. “Yeah. Just take her to the bus after.” I smiled and thanked him a bunch before giving Danielle the thumbs up. “You two are bad together.” He muttered about me and Danielle. I laughed and ran back to Danielle. I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the little girl. She saw us coming and pulled her on her moms shirt.
“Can we talk to you for a minute.” I asked her mom. She nodded and followed us a little away from the girl. “We were wondering if she would like to meet One Direction.” The ladies mouth fell right open and she covered her mouth. “I think she would love that.” I could tell she was about to cry but she held it in. “Ok. After the concert just wait and then follow us.” She nodded her head, thanked us over and over before walking back to the little girl. It felt amazing to be able to give her something she wanted when she was trying so hard to survive cancer. We made sure to tell her mom not to tell her. That it was a surprise.
The concert was the same as the others. They were all funny and still amazing at singing. At one point Harry and Liam jumped off into the crowd. It didn't take long before Paul and another security guard were picking them back up and putting them on the stage. Me and Danielle shook our heads and laughed. They did the twitter questions and sang their last few songs before running off the stage. The crowd started emptying of all the drained fans. I looked over and made sure the little girl and her mom were still here which they were. I waved for her to follow us and she nodded. Danielle led the way through the halls and out the door that led us to the tour bus.
“Mommy where are we going?” The little girl started squirming in her moms arms. “These lovely ladies have a surprise for you.” I could tell the guys were already in the bus as we climbed the stairs. Zayn, Harry, and Liam were sitting on the couch while the other two were at the table. The little girl, Sarah, squealed when she saw them but instantly went into shy mode. Liam offered her some of his chips and finally got her to sit on his lap. It was so cute how they handled her and acted towards her. I would have never thought that they would be so good with kids. We found out that Harry was her favorite but she still loved all of them.
She moved from each of their laps as they signed her shirt. When they were leaving Harry gave her his bear that he had since he was little. She literally jumped on him and squeezed him. I swear he made her life. They even sign the bears shirt that it was wearing. After that she happily left hugging the bear to her chest. Her mom thanked us all before following Sarah off the bus. “That was the cutest thing ever.” I smiled and sat on the other side of the table. We talked for a few minutes before Paul came and told us we were leaving. “You guys have a week off. We're going to were your next concert is and get a hotel so you guys can do your laundry and shower.” Thank god!
The next place was only an hour away so none of us wanted to sleep until we got to hotel. I sat in the back room with Zayn, Harry, and Niall and played 4 player Mario kart on their Wii. Liam and Danille sat in the front doing a twit-cam while Louis played on his Nintendo. It was fun other than the fact that the guys are really competitive. Every time I was ahead of one of them they would gain up on me and I would end up in the back again. I knew they were just messing around but come on. Couldn't one person be on my side? I guess not seeing as Harry just pushed me off the road and into the mud. “Ugh! I give up.” I pushed off the couch where I was sitting between Harry and Niall. I throw the remote down and walked towards the door. “Don't be like that Moe.” The guys had decided to call me that instead of Adrian. It was what all my friends use to call me at school and also at work. I hated Adrian anyways so it didn't matter.
I ignored them and opened the door before slamming it shut. Louis jumped and hit his head on the roof. He was laying in the top cubicle playing on his Nintendo with his earphones in. “Sorry Lou.” I said when he looked at me. “It's cool. What's up?” He asked I climbed into the top cubicle across from him. “Their so competitive.” He laughed and agreed with me. I watched him play his game for awhile until we felt the bus slow to a stop. “Guys! We're here.” Paul yelled opening the door. I jumped down and ran to grab my purse. “In a hurry?” Paul asked as I shoved past him and out the door. “Yes I wanna shower. Now hurry up!” I grabbed my suitcase that was being pulled out of the side of the bus. Everyone else climbed out the bus a second later and grabbed their suitcases. We started towards the hotel all following Paul. He made us sit in the little waiting area while he payed for the rooms. Me, Danielle, and the guys get one suite while Paul and whoever else get the other one.
“Finally!” I yelled and plopped down on the couch. The suite was huge. There was 6 of the same sized rooms so everyone would have their own except Liam and Danielle are going to share. Each room had a bathroom plus another bathroom next to the living room. The kitchen was big and the fridge was already filled with food. I don't know who got the food but I could really care less. Everyone else crowded around in the living room taking up the rest of the space. Paul walked in the room making us all look over at him. “Me and the other guys have the suite across the hall. While were here if you guys want to go any where inform me first. Even you two.” He pointed at me and Danielle and we sigh before nodding. “Now you guys have a signing tomorrow so get some sleep.”
They guys told him ok and he left. We all said good night to each other and went into our rooms. My room was on the right side in the middle. Louis was on my right and Harry's was on my left. Zayn's was across from mine, with Niall on his right and Liam/Danielle's on his left. I plopped down on my bed to tired to move. I tried to get up and take a shower but I gave up and let sleep overcome me. I'll just take one tomorrow morning.
“Adrian... Adrian! Wake up!” Someone was shaking my shoulder slightly. I opened my eyes and saw Danielle standing next to my bed. “Huh?” I asked half asleep. “Get up. The guys will be gone for about 5 more hours. Were going shopping.” The word shopping made me wake up more. I always loved to go shopping but never had the money. As if on she knew what I was thinking, Danielle handed me money. I looked at her confused. “Zayn told me to give it to you.” She smiled and when I wouldn't take it she walked over to my purse and put it in my wallet. “He'll want you to use it. Now get ready.” She squealed and ran out of her room to get ready. So I'm guessing she loves shopping to. I laughed and shook my head at her.
I walked over to my suitcase and grabbed some clothes. I decided to wear a black ruffle tank with a light gray cardigan, shorts, and gray vans. I throw it on my bed and walked into the bathroom. Before getting undressed I turned on the water so it can heat up. I climbed in the shower and washed my hair and body. Then shaved and finally got out. I pulled on my bra and underwear and walked back into the bathroom. It was a good thing there was a blow dryer on the wall cause I didn't have one. After I finished blow drying my hair it was fully straight. I put on light eyeliner and mascara then finished getting dressed. Making sure I had my phone and purse I walked out of my room.
I assumed Danielle was still getting so I walked into the kitchen. I grabbed a apple and a water before sitting at the table. When I was finished with the apple and water Danielle came into the kitchen. “Ready?” She grabbed a bottle of water and nodded at me. I nodded and followed her out the door. When we got to the elevator I heard a door open and looked back down the hall. There was a big guy coming out of the room Paul's suite and I instantly knew he was a body guard. Great. We seriously don't need one. “I was told to come with you guys.” He said walking up to us. I sighed and let him into the elevator. “Who told you to?” Danielle pressed on. “Paul and the guys.” I did a dramatic sigh which cause Danielle to giggle.
The elevator doors opened and we walked out into the lobby. “Wait aren't the guys at the mall doing the signing?” I asked. “Yeah but it's a different mall. Were going to the smaller one which is just around the corner.” I nodded and followed them out the door. There was no paparazzi cause they probably saw the guys leave this morning. The body guard followed behind us much to my protest. We got to the mall not even 5 minutes later and it was almost empty. “We need to ditch him. We're not going to have any fun with him hovering over us.” Danielle's grin nodded as she agreed with me. This was going to be fun. I pulled her over to a bra and underwear store. I made sure it had two exits before turning back to the body guard.
He looked at the store and his eyes widened. Just what I wanted to see. “We're going in here. You can wait out here and when were done we will meet you back here.” He looked hesitant but Danielle assured him we'll be fine. He sigh and scratched the back of his head before agreeing. We walked in the store normally and acted interested as he watched us. He finally turned away from us and we ran to the other exit. We waited till he had his back towards us to run around the corner. Danielle grabbed my hand and pulled me to a store. We ran throw the store and grabbed as many things as we could before running to the dressing room. I modeled all my clothes for her and she helped me pick what I should get. She then modeled hers and I helped her pick which ones she should get.
In the end I got shorts, pants, a long sleeved shirt and another cardigan. She got pants, and 2 short sleeve shirts. We walked out the store and made sure we didn't see the body guard before continuing on our way. Next we decided to mess around and try on dresses. I only saw one dress that I liked so I tried it on. It didn't have long sleeves so I couldn't get it but I still wanted to try it on. Danielle only found one dress also but it was really pretty. They were similar with only a couple differences. Mine is black and purple. The actual dress being purple and the belt around my high waist being black. Her dress was red and the belt black but her's was actually sparkly.
“Come out.” I heard her stall open so I opened mine to. I smiled when I saw her. The dress looked absolutely amazing on her. “You look gorgeous.” She smiled and pulled me over to a mirror. “Twitter picture.” She pulled out her phone and snapped a picture. We both started doing weird poses and couldn't help but laugh. After awhile she decided on a pic and posted it on twitter. “You're getting that dress right?” She asked as we were changing back. “I can't.” I answered as we walked back out fully dressed. She looked at me confused and I pointed at my wrists. Her eyes widened and she quickly pulled out her phone. It was my turn to look at her confused but my face slowly fell when I figured it out.
Please don't tell me she posted it on twitter. She sighed in relief and showed me that she posted the one were I have my hands behind my back. Thank god. “Let's go get food.” We hung up the dresses and walked out the store. After walking around for a little bit we found the food court. We both decided to get Chinese food from Panda Express. I found us a table and we sat down and ate. “So what's going on with you and Zayn?” She asked after a few minutes. I shrugged my shoulders. “I don't know. Like I like him but I just met him. You know?” She nodded her head in acknowledgment so I continued “I've only ever loved one guy in my life and that was Eli. He never knew cause I never got the chance to tell him before he died. I regret it.” She looked at me with sorrow in her eyes. I looked back down at my food and ate little bites.
“So you love Zayn?” I looked back at and quickly shook my head. “Why do you say that?” She smiled like she knew something I didn't. “You said you've only loved one other guy.” My jaw fell open before I quickly closed it. She was right. I did say that. I didn't love Zayn though right? It was to early. Plus I don't even know if he likes me back. “No I only like him.” She went to reply but she stopped and her mouth made an 'o' form. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I slowly turned around. The body guard stood behind us. His arms folded across his chest. “Shit.” I mumbled under my breath. I sighed and picked up my food.
“I'm told to bring you back to the hotel.” I nodded and threw away my food. Danielle threw hers away to and fell into step next to me. I looked at my phone and notice 6 missed calls. One from all the guys and one from Paul. Danielle showed me her phone and she had 6 calls from them all to. “Great. We're in trouble.” I muttered to Danielle. She sighed and agreed. We followed him out the mall and down the street. The paparazzi were back so we had to go through the back of the hotel. I tried walking slower so it would take longer to get there but he just got madder. I gave up and walked into the elevator. It felt like forever till w finally got to our level. We tried to go to our suite but were informed we had to go see Paul first. Double great.
“There you two are.” Paul said when we walked in the door. “Here we are. Perfectly fine.” I motioned to both of us to show nothing happened. He made us sit on the couch before the lecture started. “Look before you yell at Danielle. It wasn't her idea. I decided we should ditch him.” He looked at Danielle who was looking at me. “Is that true Danielle?” She looked at me then back at him. “Yeah but I still went along with it.” He looked at her and pointed at the door. “Don't do it again.” She nodded, got up, and walked out the door. “Adrian what did I say you had to have if you left?” I looked at him and raised my eyebrows. Is he serious? “A body guard but-” He cut me off. “No buts. You didn't stay with a body guard.”
“I understand that but-” He went to cut me off but I stopped him. “-why? I'm not famous and Danielle might be dating Liam but it's not like were going to get mobbed by a whole group of screaming fans. They may want our autographs but their not going to kill us.” He scratched the back of his neck and sighed. “I guess. I was just trying to make sure things don't get out of control because I know you got hate. From now on the only time there will be body guards with you guys is if your in a group. We'll just be on call in case.” I smiled and hugged him. He laughed and told me I could go. I happily grabbed my bags and walked across the hall to our suite.
“What happened?” Danielle asked as I walked into the living room. Everyone was sitting in there watching tv and eating. I walked over to the only empty seat which was in between Zayn and Niall and sat down. “Well we don't need a body guard following us around all day anymore. Only when were in a group.” She smiled and we did an air high-five. “Wait. What? Do we still have to have a body guard?” Niall asked. I shrugged my shoulders. He jumped up and walked out the door. Zayn, Harry, and Louis followed after him. I scooted over to the edge of the couch and laid my head on the side. I heard whispering and looked up at Liam and Danielle. Liam was looking at something on his phone and Danielle was trying to get it away from him. She saw me looking and she looked sad.
Liam looked over at me, back at his phone, and back at me again. I noticed it wasn't his phone, it was Danielle's. He jumped up and before I knew it he had a hold of my arm and was pulling up my sleeve. I tried pulling my arm away but he wouldn't let go. “Liam let her go.” Danielle grabbed his hand and made him let go of my arm. I pulled down my sleeve as the tears stung my eyes. “I thought you deleted them.” I whispered at Danielle. “Not my phone.” Liam was sitting on the table in front of me his hand covering his mouth. This is just wonderful. I put my head in my hands and let the tears fall. “Is that why you always wear long sleeves?” Liam whispered.
“Is what why she always wear's long sleeves?” I looked over and saw the guys had come back, except for Zayn, from Paul's room. Not at the right time either. “Where's Zayn?” Liam asked. “He went out with Perrie.” Niall said. None of them took their eyes off me. “Whose Perrie?” I asked no one. Oh wait. She was the girl from Lil Mix that everyone though was dating Zayn. I didn't know they still hung out. How could I think I could even compete with her. I shook my head when no one answered. They knew it to. Danielle hit Niall and sat next to me. “You wanna tell them?” Liam asked. I looked at him confused. He was seriously going to make me tell them.
My heart started pounding in my chest as they sat around me. I put my head in my hands and silently cried. “Just show them love.” Liam whispered. He slowly pulled my hands off my face and looked at me with comforting eyes. I nodded my head and closed my eyes has he pulled up my sleeve. Of course it wasn't the worst one but it still had about 20 good sized already healed cuts. Danielle grabbed my other arm and I looked at her in horror. What is she doing? She's supposed to be on my side. She pulled up my sleeve and showed it to Liam. I could feel everyone staring at me, well my arms. The door opened and I quickly pulled down my sleeve. I could hear Zayn talking to someone as they walked in the door. I already knew it was Perrie. I cleared my throat before talking, “Um.. I'm just going to bed. I'll see you guys tomorrow.” So no one would protest I quickly got and walked out the room. I walked into my room and shut the door putting my back against it.
Everything hit me like a ton of bricks as I slide down the door. My dads heart attack and having to hold him while he took his last breath. The memories of my kidnapping. Getting beat, not being able to eat, the raping. All the times my mom put me down. Calling names, throwing things at me, telling me I'm worthless. Then watching Eli with another girl even though I loved him and it was killing me. I had to let him be happy. He was dieing even though it was slowly killing me. Now it was happening all over again. Who am I kidding I could never make Zayn happy.
My chest tightened and I couldn't help but choke on my sobs. The memories were now vivid pictures in front of me. I slowly crouched next to my suitcase and struggled with the zipper. I finally got it open and searched for my escape. Finally finding the small box I pulled it out with shaky hands. I pulled out one of the many razors and smiled. “Adrian!” Someone yelled. The razor was pulled out of my hands and I lost hope as the memories sucked me in. I fell to my butt and grabbed my head with both hands, never opening my eyes. Someone pulled me into their arms and I instantly knew who it was. “It's ok.” Harry whispered softly. I would have never guessed he would be the one to come in here. Then again he always seems like he wants everyone to be happy.
I was finally all cried out 10 minutes later. Harry was still rocking back and forth and humming. “Thank you.” I whispered quietly into his chest. I pulled away from him and whipped my cheeks. “Of course.” I smiled and I smiled back. “Can we talk about it so you can feel better and not want to harm yourself?” I looked at him and he looked back at me in a caring way. “What do you want to know?” I asked as I played with my sleeves. “How about you started from the beginning.” He tapped my wrist and I instantly knew what he was talking about. Basically why I started cutting.
“I don't know.” I whispered. “How about I tell you something I never told anyone and then you know you can trust me.” It seemed like a good idea so I nodded my head and he continued. “I was going to ask out Danielle before I knew Liam liked her. I saw the way he looked at her and I guess I just let him have her. It turned out to be for the best. They really love each other.” My eyes widened and he laughed. “So you don't like her anymore?” I asked. He though about it for a sec and then replied. “I found out I never really liked her. She was more Liam's type anyway.” I nodded my head showing I understood. Maybe I should let Perrie have Zayn. There's just one problem. I really do like Zayn. I know for a fact. Great now I'm even more confused.
“Your turn.” Harry says bring me back to reality. I sigh and started from the beginning. I told him everything. Never once meeting his gaze. I ended up even telling him about Zayn. How I want him to be happy but I liked him. Maybe even loved him. The only probably was I'm so screwed up in the head that I could never make him happy. He never once interrupted me and it felt good. Having someone actually listen without making fun of you. Even at my therapist it seemed like she wasn't listening. She just wanted her money but with Harry it felt like I could instantly trust him. Like he was my brother and was always going to be there and I wouldn't ever have to have my guard up around him. Like he truly cared.
When I finally finished I felt like I could finally breath. Like there was a weight off my shoulders. I slowly looked up and saw tears streaming down Harry's face. I whipped his tears and he smiled at me. He pulled me in for a hug and I gratefully hugged him back. “What you went through was horrible. I'm so sorry. I can't say that I know what your going through cause I don't but I know it will get easier. If you ever feel like you need to talk to someone you can always talk to me. And about Zayn. Give him time. I know he likes you he's just in denial.” I nodded and pull away. “Thank you so much.” He smiled and nodded before standing up and pulling me up to.
“Get some sleep.” He kisses my forehead and walks towards the door. I sigh and grabbed some pajamas from my suitcase and walked into the bathroom. I changed and brushed my hair. I felt a headache coming on so I walked back into my now empty room and to my suitcase. I grabbed ibuprofen and took so with my water of the bedside table. Slowly climbing into bed I realized how tired I really was. I don't even know how long I laid their before sleep consumed me.
“Time to get up!” Someone screamed while jumping up and down. I mumbled something into my pillow and pulled the blanket over my head. Another person ran in the room and joined in on the jumping. It seriously feels like there's an earthquake in my room. “Moe! Get up!” I knew it exactly who it was. Louis and Harry. The partners in crime. “Ok. Ok! I'm up!” I yelled sitting up. They stopped jumping and fell on my bed laughing. “Nice hair.” Harry laughed while messing it up even more. I moved his hand off my hair and got out of bed. I walked over to my suitcase and started trying to find an outfit for today. “No changing. It's movie and pajama day.” I smiled and nodded. That's why they're still wearing pajamas.
“Who all is doing it?” I asked, walking into my bathroom. I grabbed my hair brush and started brushing my hair, putting it in a bun on my top of my head. My makeup was still perfectly fine. They didn't answer so I peeked back into the room. They were still sitting on the bed but whispering to each other. I cleared my throat and they both looked up quickly. I walked over to the bed and sat back down. They looked at each other again before Harry answered “Us 3, Niall, Liam, Danielle, Zayn, and um Perrie?” He said her name like it was a question. “Yay.” I said sarcastic. This is just what I needed. To see Zayn with another girl. Louis obviously knew I liked him to cause they both felt bad but there's nothing we can do. There was knocking on my door and we all yelled 'come in' at once. Niall peeked is head in the door. I could tell he was still in his pajamas to.
“Movie's ready and so is the food.” We all nodded our head and followed him back out the door. I was the last one out so I closed the door behind me. That's when I realized I only had a tank on so I ran back in my room and grabbed a long sleeve gray shirt that matched my black sweat pants. I walked out my room and closed the door before walking into the living room. Harry was on the chair, Liam and Danielle were on one couch, while Louis and Niall were on the other couch. Zayn and Perrie were already cuddled up on the floor sharing popcorn. I watched in disgust as she feed him the popcorn and then kissed his nose. Louis grabbed my hand and pulled me on the couch in the middle of him and Niall.
“What movie are we watching?” I asked no one particular. “Grease. Mine and Louis favorite movie.” Niall answered. My smiled widened. “I love-” I started to say but Perrie cut me off by turning up the TV. I clenched my fist together and sighed. There was nothing I hate more then getting cut off. I heard the movie stop and I looked up saw Liam had paused it. “What were you saying?” He asked. I smiled at him and shook my head. “Just saying it was my favorite movie to.” Liam nodded and pushed playing allowing the movie to begin. The whole movie me, Louis, and Niall sang along to all the songs. Perrie asked if we would stop but we ignored her and continued. Liam and Danielle joined in on the last song and we all laughed as the end credits began. “I'll be right back.” Zayn said getting up and going towards the bathroom.
“I wish for my school graduation they would let us have a fair.” I said. Louis agreed and said it would be cool. “Did you even graduate?” I looked over at Perrie. She was looking back at the TV but I could clearly see her smirking. “Excuse me?” I slowly stood up and she mimicked my movement. “I thought you got your G.E.D? What to stupid to finish school?” I tried to step towards her but someone wrapped their arms around my waist. “You don't know anything about me!” I yelled at her. Her smiled grew wider as I struggled to get out of their grasp. “Oh really? So you aren't poor? You don't live on your own? You're just using them for their money. Admit it.” Finally they let me go and I launched myself at her. One punched to the nose and I knew I broke it. I felt myself being pick up and pulled out the room.
I got out of their grasp and walked into my room. I shook my hand to relieve the pain. “Why did you do that?!” I already knew who it was. Of course he's pissed at me. “She deserved it!” I yelled turning to Zayn. “She asked you a question. You didn't have to punch her in the face!” I don't think I've ever seen him so mad. “You weren't there! She said I'm using you! She was making fun of me!” I yelled back. He sighed and scratched the back of his neck. “At least apologize to each other.” I sighed and said whatever but followed him back into the living room. Everyone was out there except Perrie. “Wheres Perrie?” Zayn asked. “She's in your bathroom on the phone.” Zayn looked at me and I put my hands up in surrender. “I'm going.”
I walked back down the hall and to Zayn's room. The door was shut so I carefully opened it. I didn't see her any where so I walked to the closed bathroom door. I could tell she was on the phone but I could only hear her end. I quickly pulled out my phone and started recording. “It's only going to be a few more days than I'll break up with him... I had him post it on twitter. Millions of people saw it... Yeah an agency wants to meet up tomorrow than were going to talk about signing us... Trust me it's worth it... Ok I'll call you guys after and let you know. Bye!” That bitch. I ended the recording and quietly ran out the room. I sat on the couch and everyone looked at me. Before I could say anything I heard Zayn's door shut and Perrie walking down the hall.
“Do you want to tell him or should I?” I said looking at my nails as she walked into the room. “What are you talking about?” I looked at her in disbelief. “You don't care if you hurt him do you?” Zayn looked at me curiously. I felt bad about him having to find out like this but she needed to be put in her place. “Of course I do. What are you talking about?” Everyone looked just as confused as Zayn. Even Perrie was putting up a good front. No wonder Zayn didn't catch on. I pulled out my phone and started the recording. When it was over Danielle launched herself at Perrie but Liam got her just in time. “Get her out before I do.” Niall grabbed her stuff while Louis and Harry escorted her out. Zayn sat on the couch next to me and put his head in his hands. “Zayn. I'm sorry.” I said putting my arm around him.
He didn't move or talk. He didn't even acknowledge I was there. “I guess I deserve this.” I sighed and scooted away from him. “I just didn't want you to fall more in love with her and then find out. I'm really sorry. I can't believe someone could be so heartless.” The next thing I knew his lips were against mine. I struggled for a second but gave up and melted into him. Millions of things were running through my head at once. Is this the right thing? No! He just broke up with his girlfriend but it feels so right. Does he even like me? Or is he just using me? It makes no sense. If he liked me like I like him he wouldn't have been with Perrie in the first place. That reason right there made me pull away. He looked at me confused as I stood up. “I-I can't do this.” He went to grab my arm but I quickly moved. “What do you mean?” I stepped backwards and shook my head.
“You just broke up with your girlfriend!” I didn't wait for his reply and walked towards the door throwing on my high top gray converse. I opened it and 5 people fell to the floor all on top of each other. I should have known they were ease dropping. I stepped over them and walked down the hall way. “Moe! Wait!” Just as the elevators were about to close someone stopped them and walked in. “I just want to be alone.” I muttered and leaned my head against the side of the small box. “Moe. I told you if you need to talk come to me.” I looked up at him and shook my head. “Exactly Harry. I don't need to talk. I just- Ugh!” I hide my face so he couldn't see my tears. I don't get how one person could make me cry so much and still like him. Maybe even love him. I felt myself being pulled to somebody and arms wrapped around me.
“It's ok love.” One hand drew circles in my back while the other ran fingers through my hair. It made me almost forget where we are. “We should probably get out of the elevator.” He laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me out. I followed him out towards the lobby doors. There wasn't as many fans but still a good amount. Once they saw Harry the screaming began. His smile grew wider as we walked closer. You could tell easily how much he loves his fans. It felt like my eardrums were going to burst as soon as the door open. We walked down the path. Harry stopped a couple times to take pictures or sign stuff. I even signed a couple things. “You guys are so cute together!” Someone in the crowd shouted making everyone else scream 'Yeah's' and 'Awww'. I looked at Harry and he look equally disgusted. He was like a brother to me.
“No! We're not dating!” It seemed like they were to focused on taking pictures and didn't hear me. I hope at least one person did so they could tell other people. Harry started walking down the street and I followed after him. He still had his dark green pajama bottoms on with a black shirt on. He stopped suddenly causing me to crash into him. He chuckled and pushed me into a door, following closely behind. The fresh aroma of food hit my nose making me droll. “Table for 2.” The hostess nodded and motioned for us to follow her. The place was almost empty. There was only one of couple sitting on the other side of the restaurant. A waiter came over asking what we wanted to drink. I got apple juice and Harry got orange juice. It only took a few minutes to choose what we wanted to eat. I only got pancakes but Harry got eggs, toast, bacon, and sausage.
“I know you guys heard what happen.” I said finally bringing up what I knew he wanted to talk about. He nodded his and took a drink before answering. “It was wrong for him to kiss you right after he broke it off with Perrie.” On instinct I nodded and looked down into my drink. I started playing with the straw to keep me from crying again. “Ugh. I wanted to kiss him back but I couldn't do it.” He smiled and shook his head. “I know for a fact he likes you though.” It was my turn to shake my head. I didn't know what to say so I kept quiet. The rest of the breakfast was silent. Not an awkward silence but like we both needed to think. After a little bit he broke the silence and we joked around a little bit. When we both finished he payed and we started our walked back to the hotel.
“Thanks for breakfast.” I said as we walked into the elevator. “Of course love.” We got off the elevator and walked down to our suite. Everyone except Danielle was in the living room hanging out. “Moe. Danielle wants to talk to you.” Liam said right away. I nodded my head and walked down the hall. I stopped at there door and knocked. I put my ear to the door and heard the shower running. I was just about to turn away when I heard the faint sound of someone puking. I instantly pushed the door open, closing and locking it behind me. I ran to the bathroom and luckily it wasn't locked. Danielle was over the toilet puking. I ran over and held her hair while rubbing her back. A few minutes later she had nothing left to puke. I helped her up and into the room before laying her down.
“You ok?” She nodded but something was wrong I could tell. “What's wrong?” She looked at me and sighed. “I- I think I'm pregnant.” My eyes widened and my jaw fell open. “Are you positive?” She shrugged and played with the blanket on the bed. “I don't know. It's possible or I could just be sick. I've been putting on weight though.” I didn't even notice. “Oh my god! What if I'm pregnant and- and Liam doesn't want to be with me because it will ruin his career.” She started freaking out and started crying. “Danielle.” She didn't look up at me and continued rambling. “Danielle!” I yelled a little louder. This time she looked up at me. “Calm down. Let me go to the store and get a test. If it's positive I know for a fact Liam will not make you raise a kid on your own. If it's negative we'll keep this between us.” She nodded and hugged me. “Go to sleep I'll wake you when I get back.”
Once she laid down I walked out the door and back into the living room. “I'm going to the store. I'll be back soon.” Before they said anything I ran out the door and all the way to the elevator. It felt like it took an hour just to get down to the lobby. I didn't want to deal with the fans at this moment so I took the back way. I ran around to the front and down the street. I didn't stop running till I found a Walgreen’s a block away. I ran straight in and looked down every aisle until I found what I needed. I looked for the most expensive one and grabbed 3. I ran to where the candy was and grabbed 7 chocolate bars. Once at the cash register the lady looked at me funny as I put the stuff on the counter. “Are these for you ma'am?” She pointed to the tests. “That's for me to know and you to never find out.” She rolled her eyes and scanned everything.
I had just enough money left on my card to pay for 10 items with 37 cents left. I would have to worry about it later though. I ran all the way back to the hotel and through the back door again. In the elevator I put the tests and 2 chocolates in one bag while putting the other 5 in the one bag. My heart was pounding in my chest as I walked up to the hotel door. What if they see what's in the bag? What would I tell them? What would I tell Zayn? Of course I would say they were mine. Right when I was about to knock the door opened. I quickly put the bag with tests behind my back so it looked like I only had one bag. “I thought you were here.” Niall said holding the door open for me. I said a quick thanks and sped walked into the living room.
“I got you guys chocolate.” I said throwing their bag on the couch. They all lunged at it like I expect so I made a quick get away. I ran all the way down the hall and right into Liam's room. Danielle was sitting up in bed looking deep in thought. She looked up as I closed the door. She slowly got out off bed and grabbed the tests from my hand. She looked at me and I knew what she was thinking. She was basically chickening out. I shooed her into the bathroom and closed the door. It only took a few minutes for her to come out the bathroom. I shot straight up from laying on the bed. “So?” I asked when she didn't say anything. She just smiled so I walked around her and into the bathroom. All 3 test were sitting on the counter. My heart beat faster as I walked closer. I took a deep breath and looked at them a smile on my face. She wasn't pregnant!
Today was our last day at the hotel. Tomorrow the guys had to do sound check and then the concert. Right after the concert we had to go straight to the tour bus and leave. They whole week we just went shopping and watched movies. Other times stayed in and played games. The guys had another signing yesterday so me and Danielle went and saw a movie. Zayn and I have basically stayed clear of each other. We talked some but it was hard talking to him like we were friends when I wanted to be so much more. He never told me why he kissed me and every time I asked he changed the subject. Every time he laughed or just plain smiled I fell more in love with him. Yeah you heard it. I'm in love with someone who doesn't love me back let alone like me.
Today everyone got up to go to the fair. I was currently waiting in the living room with everyone else for Zayn. I had got up after him and still managed to take a shower, blow dry my hair, straighten my hair, and do my makeup. I was wearing light wash jean shorts and a long sleeved v neck shirt with black vans. Everyone else was dressed in comfortable clothes. Me and Danielle were practically matching. She was wearing the same shorts but with a short sleeved black shirt and black vans. Both our hair was straight and only eyeliner with mascara. The guys were wearing jeans and regular t-shirts. With either Nike's, Converse, or Vans.
“Let's go.” I looked up to see Zayn finally walking down the stairs. His hair was flat but he still looked hot. He was wearing a red and white letterman jacket with jeans and red and white Nike's. Sexy as all hell. I got up and followed after everyone. Me being the last I shut the door and waited with Danielle while the guys got Paul to drive us. “Let's go wait for them in the lobby.” Danielle nodded and followed me to the elevator. I was happy she was finally feeling better. I finally had my partner in crime back. The elevator music was annoying and to slow. It made the ride seem to drag on even longer. We both took seats in the waiting area away from the doors so the fans wouldn't see us till we were leaving.
“You should talk to Zayn.” She said out of no where. I looked at her, my head turned to the side. “Why?” She shrugged. “He likes you a lot. I think he loves you.” I immediately shook my head. There was no way. “He barley even acknowledges me.” She laughed as I looked at her questionably. Why the hell is she laughing. “He doesn't think you like him like that. I, on the other hand, know you love him.” She smiled and stood up walking over to the boys who were coming out the elevator. Why does she have to confuse me even more? She wasn't the only one that told me he loved me. In fact everyone did except Zayn himself. I couldn't believe any of them until Zayn told me himself. Psh like that’s going to happen.
I followed everyone out the hotel doors and through the screaming fans. We all piled in the van with Danielle having to sit on Liam's lap and me in between Harry and Niall. The car ride was filed with laughing and singing. At one point Harry took out his phone and started snapping picture of everyone. He put his arm around me and took a picture of us. We both made funny faces without the other realizing. I looked across from me at Zayn and smiled. He smiled back making my heart flutter. If only he knew what he did to me. He drove me crazy without even realizing it. We finally pulled up to the fair. It wasn't packed but there was a good amount of people here. I could only see 4 rides really and a whole bunch of games. Paul bought our wristbands and left us to go on our own. Only rule we had was no one goes on their own.
Liam immediately grabbed Danielle and pulled her towards a roller coaster. “Go carts!” Louis yelled running off towards the go carts. Niall and Zayn ran after him laughing and pushing each other. “Guess it's just us.” Harry said turning to me. I smiled. “Guess so.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me towards a haunted house ride. I turned around and saw Zayn had stopped and looked at me. Something flashed in his eyes but before I could figure it out he turned and walked back towards the go carts. I turned around to and followed Harry to the back of the line. There was only 4 people in front of us so we got to the front quickly.
The guy checked our wristbands and motioned for us to get in the next little car type thing. I climbed in first and then Harry next. The guy told us to keep our hands in the car the whole time before pushing the green button. The car lurched forward and started towards the dark entrance. The first thing that popped out at us made me scream. Harry laughed so I hit him playfully on the arm. “Rude.” I muttered and turned back to the ride. He continued to laugh every time I screamed. I never got scared from watching scary movies and here I was screaming at every little thing.
When the ride finished I pushed a still laughing Harry out and walked down the steps. “Moe I'm sorry.” He still had a stupid smirk on his face. I shrugged and laughed. “It was kinda funny huh?” He full on laughed again cause me to laugh to. “Very.” I shook my head at him but still smiled. We continued walking around until I saw Liam and Danielle standing in a line. They were waiting in the line for a ride that looked like a huge claw. It held four seats on each hook and swung back and forth. I grabbed Harry's arm and pulled me towards them. “Hey guys. Mind if we join?” I asked. “Course not love.” Liam said smiling at me. When it was our turn we climbed on the ride showing the person our wristbands and found seats. Me and Danielle sat in the middle with Harry sitting next to me and Liam next to Danielle.
The ride was fun until you get to the very top and your staring straight ahead at the floor where everyone looked like ants. Me and Danielle would scream every time we got to the top. After that ride we met up with everyone else and ate. We all shared some nachos and each got soft pretzels with cheese. None of us wanted to get on rides right after we had ate so we stayed in a group playing games. Every time Liam won a stuff animal he gave it to Danielle. I lost every game I tried. There was one game that had a little stuffed Otter that I wanted. All I had to do was shoot a basketball in a hoop which was basically impossible for me. After 5 tries I gave up and walked away with everyone following.
“Attention the fair will be closing in 15 minutes! I repeat the fair will be closing in 15 minutes! Thank you!” We only had time for one more ride so we had to choose quickly. I didn't know they closed so early. The sun was just setting. Liam grabbed Danielle and pulled her one way while Harry, Louis, and Niall went the other. Did they seriously just leave me with Zayn? “What do you want to ride?” He asked shoving his hands in his pocket. He looked as nervous and uncomfortable as me. “We could go on the Ferris Wheel?” He nodded and started towards it. I walked a little behind him till we got to the line. We were the only people in line so we got put on quickly. My heart rate picked up the higher we got. This wasn't a good idea.
“Are you afraid of heights to?” I asked to afraid to looked down so I looked towards the sun set. “Yeah.” His voice was raspy and he wouldn't look down either. We got to the top finally and completely stopped. I looked at Zayn wide eyed and he did the same. I instantly scooted over and he put his arm around me pulling me closer. Being in his arms made me feel immediately safe and my breathing calmed. “Adrian?” He said my name hesitantly which made me nerves. “Yes?” I whispered. “I- I really like you. Forget it I can't lie to you. I love you Moe and I understand if you don't love me back.” Tears sprang to my eyes as I slowly turned to face him. “You do?” I whispered. He nodded and pulled something out of his jacket. I gasp and pulled him in for a hug. He had won me the otter!
“I love you to and not just cause you won me this.” His smile grew wider and he pulled me to him crashing our lips together. This time I was actually able to enjoy it but he turned away to soon. I pouted which made him smile and peck my lips again. “I never really liked Perrie. I didn't think you liked me so I needed a distraction.” I rolled my eyes but the smiled never left my face. “I guess that's good to know.” He pulled me into him and kissed me again.
I felt the cart we were in started to move again. I didn't understand why we sat for so long at the time but it was worth it. Zayn took all my attention off my fear of heights. We pulled apart once we reached the bottom. The guy let us out and Zayn instantly grabbed my hand helping me up. His hand fit perfectly in mine. “We're meeting them at the car.” He said as we walked out the gate. I nodded and walked towards the car with him. We climbed in the car and sat next to each other while everyone stared at our hand that were still connected.
“Something you guys want to tell us?” Danielle asked smiling. Zayn looked at me and I shrugged. “We're together.” Danielle squealed making everyone laugh. “It's about damn time.” Harry said shaking his head. He smiled and hugged me since he was next to me. He did the brotherly hug thing to Zayn. Well, the best they could sitting down. Everyone went back to there talking but I couldn't stop looking at Zayn. He looked back at me and smiled before kissing me. It wasn't full on snogging cause we were in car full of people. It was just quick peck. When we finally got back to the hotel everyone went their separate ways. Some living room others kitchen and me to bed. I quickly changed into black pajama shorts and a gray long sleeve shirt.
As soon as I plopped down on my bed there was a knock on my door. “Come in!” I yelled and only a second later the door opened revealing Zayn. On instinct, I pulled down my sleeves to my fingers and held them in place. “Just wanted to say good night babe.” I smiled and hugged him. He had asked me if I wanted to share a room but I told him I wasn't ready. He didn't understand but didn't push it either. I couldn't tell him that almost every night I wake up sweating because I was dreaming about my past. The same nightmare I've been having since being kidnapped. At least not until I felt like I should tell him and of course I would have to soon.
“Night babe.” We kissed good night and he slowly walked out the door. Right before the door closed he opened it again, smiling brightly. “Love you.” I giggled and smiled back. “Love you to.” He smiled again before shutting the door and retreating to his room across from me. I sighed, laying back on my pillows. I really felt bad about not letting him sleep in here I just had to trust him first. I know it's stupid. Who wouldn't trust him right? Well try going through what I went through and tell me you wouldn't mind sleeping in a bed with a guy. If everything was out in the open I would be so much better. Harry had told all the other guys what I told him that night but I wasn't mad at him. I was just happy he didn't tell Zayn. I don't think I ever want him to know but I can't just keep it from him. He's my boyfriend after all.
The next morning I woke up at 7 o'clock sweating. My nightmare was still the same one. He would always say “You are mine and if I can't have you. No one will.” and stab me in my heart. I clutched my heart as I cooled down my breathing. I was scared to go back to sleep so I got in the shower instead. When I got out I dressed in light skinny jeans, a black tank top and a purple long sleeve cardigan. I blow dried my hair and curled it, flipping my bags back. My eyeliner and mascara only took me 10 minutes. I decided to wear my purple vans and the purple hat Zayn had given me.
When I was finished getting ready I packed all my stuff. I was sad to be leaving the hotel but excited to get on the road again. Deciding to be nice, I called room services and order everyone breakfast. I would have made it but all the food was gone. Literally everything in the fridge was gone. I sat in the living room and turned on the TV. Not even 20 minutes later the food showed up. I put every ones food in the spots they sat at. I grabbed my water and fruit bowl and sat on the couch.
“Why are you up so early?” I jumped and stiffened a scream. “Sorry didn't mean to scare you.” I turned around and smiled still shaken. “It's cool Liam. I couldn't sleep.” He nodded his head and turned towards the dinning room area. “You got food?” I nodded and turned back to the TV. He grabbed him food and sat on the couch next to me. “What are you watching?” I shrugged my shoulders and started changing the channel. I changed the channel and guess what? Toy Story was on. Liam's favorite movie. He did a little happy dance making me laugh. During the movie everyone one by one woke up. We all ate our breakfast and then they went up to get ready.
By the time everyone was ready and they stuff was down stairs Paul was at our door. He took the guys so they could go get ready for there concert. It was early than most of them so they were going to be gone the whole day until the concert. “I'll miss you babe. Love you.” Zayn quickly pecked my lips before being pulled out the room by the guys. “Love and miss you to.” I yelled down the hall. He turned and smiled blowing me and kiss before climbing into the elevator. A bell man came with a cart and got all our luggage and took it down to the tour bus.
“So what are we going to do?” I asked sitting on the couch by Danielle. She shrugged and put her thinking face on. I did the same but nothing came to mind. “Let's go get new outfits for tonight!” She squealed and pulled me up from the couch. We both grabbed our purse, walked out the door and down to the elevator. We decided to walk around on the streets for awhile trying to find a store we hadn't been to. After awhile we found a store that was full of dresses, dressy shirts, and skirts. Everything was to dressy and looked like it was meant for a business interview. “Let's just go back to the mall. We might find a store we didn't go to.” She sigh but nodded and followed me out the store.
It only took us ten minutes to get to the mall and only 5 to find a store we hadn't been to. We decided to go our separate meet at the dressing room. I walked around for a little bit before I found the perfect outfit. White tank top that has layers of ruffles on the front, black leather jacket, and teal fitted skinny jeans. I grabbed a size 6 black heels and teal head band. I headed to the dressing room and found Danielle. “Don't let me see. Try it on first!” I nodded and went to the stall right next to her quickly undressing and pulling on my new outfit.
“1...2...3” I opened my stall right when hers open. I gasped and smiled at her outfit. She was wearing a white and black plaid shirt with a black vest, red skinny jeans, and black heels. “You look amazing.” We said at the same time. I laughed and hugged her before walking back into the stall and changing back. Neither of our outfits were a lot and Danielle insisted on buying mine. It was probably a good thing because I had absolutely no money. Zayn has been buying everything for me. I felt bad but he insisted on it. We grabbed our bags after paying and started walking out the store. “Let's go get smoothies.” Danielle said pointing towards the food court. I nodded and followed her.
“Can I have a mango smoothie and she'll have a strawberry banana one.” The guy behind the counter typed in our order and took our money before disappearing into the back. It only took 10 minutes to make both our smoothies and the tasted amazing. We found a table and started talking. “Did Zayn sleep with you last night?” I shook my head and took a drink of my smoothie. “I wake up every night to nightmares so I rather not get questioned about them.” She looked confused so I continued. “I still haven't told him. I just don't want to lose him you know.” She nodded and took a drink of her smoothie. We were both about to say something when we got cut off.
“Ren! Stop!” I looked over where I heard it coming from and saw a girl about my height pushing a guy that was at least 6' away from her. He looked like he was drunk and kept trying to kiss her. I looked at Danielle and we both jumped up. We quickly walked over to them as the guy got rougher and held tight to her upper arms. “Dude she said stop!” I yelled. He stopped and looked at me. As he walked towards me Danielle went and made sure the girl was ok. I slowly backed up which made his grin grow winder. “Come here sexy.” He slurred his words and kept tripping over his own feet. When he got close enough I kicked him in the balls and punched him. He was so drunk he instantly pasted out. I sighed and shook my hand to relieve some pain.
“Are you ok?” I asked the girl. She nodded her head but still looked a little shaken up. “I'm fine.” Her hair was black but hand a blonde streak on the bottom. Her eyes were a milk chocolate brown and she had a couple freckles. Her nose pierced and she had braces. It surprised me she was with such a jerk when she was really beautiful. “Come with us. You don't need to be with that jerk.” She looked back at the guy on the ground and hesitated. “One more thing to do real quick.” She pulled back her combat boot and in one swift move kicked him right in the side. Damn. Even I could feel that. She turned to us with a smile on her face and told us she was ready.
“I'm Alexis by the way but you can call me Allie.” I smiled and shook her hand. “I'm Adrian but you can call me Moe and this is Danielle but you can call her Dani.” She looked like she was think and not even a second later her eyes light up like a light bulb. “Oh you're Liam's girlfriend and you're Zayn's girlfriend right?” I laughed and nodded. “I love them. Niall's my favorite. God his accent is fine.” We all busted out laughing as we sat back down at the food court. “How would you like to meet him?” Allie immediately blushed and covered her mouth. “Really?” She looked like she had just won a million dollars. I looked at Danielle who was nodding.
“Why not? You could come to the concert tonight.” She jumped and hugged us and quickly sat back down. “Sorry lost it there for a second.” I laughed and told her it was fine. “We should pick you out a new outfit. I'll pay.” Allie instantly went to protest but Danielle told her to stop. “So was the guy your boyfriend?” I asked as we walked towards the shop me and Danielle bought our clothes at. “Yeah. I've been thinking of how to break up with him but I live with him so I'll have no where to go.” I looked at Danielle who looked back at me with an equal expression. I felt bad for this girl. We had to help her. There was no way we could leave her with no where to go.
“What about your parents?” She looked away from us and towards a rack full of clothes. She started shuffling through them before turning back to us. “Never knew them. I've been in foster care most of my life and since I turned 18 a month ago I had to move so Ren let me live with him.” I nodded showing I understood. After that we all stayed quiet and shuffled through the clothes. I looked over and something pink caught my eye from a rack on the wall. It was strapless with a black belt around the middle. The top had little ruffles and the bottom hung loosely.
I ran and grabbed before running to Allie. “Look!” I did little jumps when her eyes light up and she squealed. “It's perfect Moe! Thank you!” We hugged before running over to where Danielle was. She was holding blue skinny jeans that had little rips up and down the legs. We held the shirt and jeans next to each other and Allie approved. She looked over at something before grabbing both our hands and pulling us towards the shoes. She ran over to a pair of heels and grabbed them before turning back to us. The heels she grabbed were black open toed and had a bow on the side.
After trying it on Danielle paid and we decided to leave. The concert start in 3 hours so we had 2 to get ready. “Wait where are we getting ready?” It had totally skipped my mind we were leaving tonight and we did have a hotel anymore. “We could go to Ren's house. No one is there.” I hesitated but agreed and followed her down the street. I could tell Danielle knew this was a bad idea but we had no other option. Her house was only a couple blocks from the mall. It didn't take long cause we were getting to know Allie the whole way. She turned out to be a really sweet girl.
When we got to the house she was staying at it surprised me. It wasn't that small of a house actually pretty big. The inside looked bigger than I thought it would. Me and Danielle followed her up the stairs after grabbing a couple waters. “This is mine and Ren's room. You can take turns changing the bathrooms right there.” Danielle let me change first so I gratefully went to the bathroom. It only took my a couple minutes to change and I let Danielle have it. Alexis let us use her make up and hair stuff so we can touch up. I was finished before Danielle so after Alexis curled her hair I helped her do her makeup. Not long after we were all finished with and hour left to spare.
We were sitting in the living room when I heard 2 car doors shut. Alexis looked at me and I saw a hint of horror but as soon as it came it went. She put her wall up again and showed no emotion. There was something not right here. I heard the front door open and shuffling of foot before it slammed shut. A guy came around the corner supporting a still drunk Ren on his shoulder. I didn't know much about this guy, Ren, but I already knew I hated him. The guy threw Ren on the couch right next to Alexis. “Thank you Josh.” Alexis said standing up and hugging the guy. He hugged her back and told her it was fine before turning and walking out the door. I wonder if this happened often. Ren looked over at Alexis and grabbed her, pulling her towards him.
“Ren stop. We need to talk. Stop!” She pushed his face away when he tried to kiss her. Me and Danielle just stood back waiting to see if things got out of control. “Babe. Come on.” He leaned forward and tried to kiss her again but in one swift movement she punched him, making his jaw crack. It caught him completely off guard and sobered him right up. Before any of us could blink he backhanded Alexis so hard she fell to the floor. Her lip was split and there was a bruise but she kept it together and didn't back down. I liked this girl. She was stronger than I thought. “Don't you ever disrespect me in my house again you fucking bitch!” He roared and went to grab her again. She kicked him in the balls the same time I crashed a lamp over the back of his head. He fell to the floor uncontentious but still breathing.
For a few seconds the only sound you could hear was mine, Alexis, and Danielle's heavy breathing. It took my a minute to processes what happened and I smiled. We kicked some ass! “Get your stuff Alexis. I'm not letting you stay with that.” Danielle helped Alexis off the floor and I followed them both up the stairs. We helped Alexis as much as we could with packing her stuff. She didn't have a lot so when we were done I help her fix her makeup. I covered the bruise on her face but you could still her split lip. I told her it wouldn't take long to heal. She asked me how I knew and I told her my mom gave me one before. Of course that led to my whole life story witch had us in tears after. She found out about my cutting and told me she used to do it to. Until she found out it didn't solve anything and she quiet. I was proud I had even made it 2 weeks.
When we were done making sure all her stuff was out Danielle called a cab to come pick us up a few houses down. While we waited I started thinking. “So. How about you ride with us to the next place we have a concert. I could buy you a hotel for a couple weeks and help you find a job.” Alexis smiled and hugged me. I would probably have to ask Zayn to pay for it. God. I'm such a bad girlfriend using all his money. “Where is the next concert?” I looked over at Danielle cause I had no idea. I should probably get a schedule. “We're going to Toronto, Canada.” Alexis thought for a second before she squealed. “My friend Beau lives there. I don't think he would mind is I stayed with him.” Perfect. At least I knew she had someone to live with.
The cab pulled up to the side walk and we all jumped in. After telling him the place where the guys were performing the ride was quiet. It wasn't awkward but just like we did want to talk or needed to think. I didn't know what they were thinking about but I was think about leaving Alexis in Toronto. She had became one of my really good friends even though we had just met her today. Well her and Danielle were my only friends and I didn't want to loose either of them. Maybe one of the guys would like her and want to bring her on tour with us. I could only hope. What if her and Niall hit it off right away? Or her and Harry? Or even her and Louis? At least one of them had to like her. She's was the total package. Gorgeous, fun, and bad ass. Plus, me and Danielle need another partner in crime.
“Moe! Were here.” Alexis said bring me out of my thoughts. I helped her grab her bags while Danielle paid and then we headed towards the tour bus. The only probably we were on the wrong side of the gate. Luckily there wasn't any fans waiting outside the gate. I couldn't see Paul or anyone through the gate so I decided to climb it. I started climbing the gate but I was grabbed by my jacket and pulled down. “Excuse me Miss. but you can not climb the gate.” I looked at the guy and knew right away he worked here. “I'm Zayn's girlfriend and-” He instantly shook his head cutting me off. “No I'm sorry but your going to have to either go to the concert or leave. I understand you're a fan but this is overboard.” I looked at him like he was crazy. I went to say something but got cut off again.
“Adrian. Where have you guys been?” I looked over and saw Paul exiting the building and walking over to us. “Sorry we're late but we had no way to get in.” He nodded and told the guy who we were. The guys eyes widened and he apologized before unlocking the gate and letting us through. “It's cool. You're only going your job.” The guys smiled and re-locked the gate after letting us in. “Paul. This is Alexis. Alexis this is Paul the boys manager.” She smiled and shook his hand. He looked over-whelmed so me and Danielle asked to talk to him in private. We walked far enough so she couldn't hear our conversation.
“Paul I know this is a lot to ask but we were wondering if Alexis can ride with us to Toronto. We just helped her get out of a really bad relationship and she needs to leave so he doesn't try to get her again.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. I noticed he did that whenever he was thinking. “I guess it's fine. She seems like a nice kid anyway.” He smiled causing me and Danielle to smile back. “20$ says Niall falls in love with her.” I say. Paul and Danielle exchange a look and nodded both shaking my hand. “Your on. 20$ says Harry falls in love with her.” Danielle smiled. Paul smiled evilly. “20$ says Louis falls in love with her.” He said causing us to bust out laughing. “Be prepared to give me 20$ each.” I said smiling and made my way back over to Alexis. This was going to be fun. I knew for a fact Niall was going to like her. I just made an easy 40$.
It only took us a second to put Alexis bag in the bus and then we headed into the boys dressing room. There was about 20 minutes until they had to go on stage. We would only have enough time to say hi and introduce Alexis and tell them what happened before going to our seats. We rushed down the hall, following Paul. It didn't take more than a minute to get there. All the guys were rushing around fixing there hair and getting their ear pieces placed. They didn't notice we walked in until the door was shut behind us. “Babe!” I smiled and hugged Zayn. He kissed me but only a quick peck before pulling back and keeping his arm around my waist. I looked over and Danielle and Liam were making out.
“Um guys.” I cleared my throat and they quickly pulled apart. There was a light blush on Danielle's cheek causing Liam to chuckle and pull her to his chest. “Well, anyways guys this is Alexis. Alexis well, you already know who these doofs are.” I get a few playful glares but it just made me laugh. “It's nice to meet you guys.” Alexis said. She looked a little shy and like she was trying not to fan girl. “Nice to meet you too.” They each take turns saying, except Niall. I looked over at Niall who looked like his eyes were stuck on her. His eyes moved down her body and flicked back up to her eyes. As soon as he saw her checking him out too and their eyes met, they both blushed and looked away. I knew it! At this minute I almost did a happy dance. I sent a smile to Danielle and received a playful glare. I knew this wasn't over yet but hey you can't change love at first sight.
I looked back and Danielle and nodded my head towards the door. “Guys can I talk to you in the hall?” The guys nodded and walked out into the hall following Danielle. Zayn kissed my forehead before following after them and shutting the door. I went and sat down motioning Alexis to sit down next to me. She didn't look as uncomfortable anymore so I decided to tease her. “So Niall huh?” She instantly started blushing and playing with the couch. “Girl he likes you.” She quickly shook her head at me. “Yeah right.” I smiled and shook my head. She was clueless. It's probably because the only relationship she has been in is an abusive one. Niall won't ever hurt her. He's to sweet and his accent is a plus. “You'll see.” I patted her leg reassuringly.
The door opened but no one walked in. “Adrian. Can you come out here for a second.” I raised my eyebrows. Zayn either ever calls me babe or love never my name. I slowly got up and walked out the door. Liam reached behind me and closed the door. All eyes were on me except Danielle. She had was looking every where but at me and I knew she said something she wasn't supposed to. Zayn reached over and grabbed my hand. I instantly thought he was going to pull up the sleeve so I quickly pulled my hand away. “I just wanted to see if your hand was fine. Danielle said you punched that guy.” I breathed a sigh of relief and gave him my hand. He his eyes widened at the sight of it. I snatched it back and looked at it myself. Just by looking at the bruise and I could feel the pain creeping on.
“That was not there a little while ago. Damn now I can feel it.” I pulled my hand away from him and started trying to move my fingers. None of them hurt except for my middle finger. “I didn't know you hit him that hard.” Danielle said. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. “Looks like you got a pretty good hit.” Harry said laughing. Zayn shot him a glare that shut him up instantly. “Guys! 5 minutes.” Paul said walking down the hall. “Danielle there's a wrap in my backpack. Can you wrap up her hand.” Zayn asked. Danielle nodded and kissed Liam before going into the dressing room. “Have fun guys.” I kissed Zayn and hugged all the guys the best a could before going into the dressing room. “I'll put it on out there. We have to get to our seats.” I nodded and motioned Alexis to follow us.
Right when we got to our seats the count down started along with the screaming. The second they stepped on stage it got even louder. “Moe! Give me your hand!” Danielle shouted over the music. I gave her my right hand. She pulled up my sleeve and started at my wrist covering up some of the cuts along the way. When she got to my knuckles I winced. She folded it so it fit in between my fingers and then once back around my knuckles before tucking it in. “Thank!” She smiled and nodded before looking up at the stage. The guys were already on there second song. Before long they moved on to the twitter questions. Me, Danielle, and Alexis were laughing the whole time. It was cool that they always acted their normal self’s on stage for their fans. They sang their last couple of songs before thanking everyone and running off stage.
“Adrian!” I looked up and saw Paul motioning for me to go to him. I got up and walked over to the gate. “The fans went straight to the gate where the bus is so the guys are going to stay and sign stuff for awhile. You guys can wait in here our on the bus.” I nodded and told him we would just stay here. “Ok I'll come get you guys when we can leave.” I turned around and walked back over to Danielle and Alexis. “What did he need?” Danielle asked as I sat back in my chair. “We have to stay in here awhile so the guys can sign stuff outside then Paul's coming back to get us.” They both said ok and went back to being on their phone's. I pulled out my phone and sat on twitter. “Do you have a twitter?” I asked Alexis. She nodded and told me her name. Me and Danielle both followed her before I turned my phone off and put it back in my purse.
Some people were on stage gathering the guitars and then taking apart the drums. Another guy was walking around with a box picking up everything that was thrown on stage. “Do they keep everything that get's thrown on stage?” Alexis asked from beside me. She had also put her phone away and was watching. “Yeah everything but the bra's and panties.” She laughed a little before turning back to the stage. When the guy was finished picking up everything another guy started sweeping. “I don't feel like sitting here waiting.” Danielle huffed. “Let's go sit on the stage. Looks like their finished up. All the fans are gone to.” She shrugged and stood up. “Why not?” I smiled and pulled Alexis up.
The gates had a little opening so I opened it more before climbing on the table type thing and on to the stage. I helped Alexis up then she turned around and helped Danielle up. The lights that usually shine onto the stage were off while the lights in the audience were dimmed. “Wow.” Alexis mumbled as she looked out to the empty center. “I know I love it. You would never be able to tell it was this big of a place from sitting in the audience.” I said staring in awe. “I wonder how it looks when their up here and people are taking pictures with flash.” I nodded and so did Alexis. I should ask Zayn to some how take a picture of it or maybe a video.
“Guys let's go!” Paul yelled. Danielle and Alexis headed off first. I sighed and looked out one more time before following after them. The walk back to the bus was fast. They had pulled it up closer to the building so when we walked out the door it was only a couple steps to get there. “Have fun?” I asked sitting next to Zayn. He put his arm around my shoulders and smiled. “Always do.” I smiled and pecked his lips. “How was meeting the fans?” Danielle asked as she snuggled into Liam. Alexis had gladly sat by Niall after he scooted over and made room for her on one of the couches. “Wait is this a new bus?” I asked looking around again.
“Yeah we got a bigger bus. The back has a actual bed and there is 9 beds on the wall instead of 6. Plus another couch out here.” I shooked at first and then shook my head. It had been a week since we were actually on the bus so of course I wouldn't notice if they exchanged it. We all hung out and talked for awhile before we decided we should go to bed. The bus pulled over at a gas station and us girls changed into pajamas in the bathroom there while the guys changed on the bus. Me, Danielle, and Allie all got the bottom bunks while the guys fought over who got the other ones. I only saw that Liam got the one above me and Zayn got the one above Danielle so I was able to see him. I sat on my phone until I realized I was the only one who was awake so I turned it off and within seconds I was out.
The next day Paul woke everyone up at 10 so the guys could do sound check. It only took them an hour to get everything figured out. We decided to go and eat lunch before coming back and watching a movie. After the movie there was still a few hours till the concert. No one really wanted to do anything so we just hung out and talked. Most of the time was getting to know Alexis. We found out she had just graduated high school last month. She was gonna go to college but didn't have money for it. Her and Niall really seemed to like each others company and that had me thinking about her leaving. If she left would he be ok or would he be down all the time? I knew if for some reason I would have to leave I would be crushed and miss Zayn like crazy. I would hope he would miss me to. Alexis and Niall have only known each other for 24 hours and me and Zayn have only for 2 weeks. I guess love at sight really works cause we're already saying we love each other.
“Zayn, Adrian, Liam can I talk to you guys outside?” I looked over at Danielle suspiciously but shrugged and climbed off the bus. A second later Zayn jumped off and stood next to me. He grabbed my hand and smiled at me before turning back to Danielle. I blushed and looked at Danielle. “I think we should see if Alexis wants to finish the tour with us. That's if you guys don't care.” I smiled and instantly nodded my head. Great minds think alike. “I don't care. I don't think anyone else would either. Especially not Niall.” Liam said. “The only person we have to talk to is Paul.” Zayn added. I looked at Danielle and she nodded. I really liked this telepathy this going on between us.
“Me and Danielle will go talk to Paul.” Both Zayn and Liam nodded and headed back onto the bus. “Now to find Paul.” Danielle smiled and we linked arms before skipping off into the building. It only took us about 10 minutes to find him. He was on stage helping fix everything and making sure everything was right. “Paul can we talk to you for a second?” He motioned for us to give him a minute and went back to talk to someone. It only took him a second before he walked over to us. “Ok. So um... Danielle has something to ask you.” I said pushing Danielle in front of me. She gave me a quick glare before turning back to Paul with a smile on her face. “Do you think it might be ok if we maybe take Alexis with us on the rest of the tour?” We both pulled out the puppy eyes and the pouting bottom lip. Or course he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck like he always does.
“Ugh fine. You children will be the death of me.” Me and Danielle squealed and turned to run away. “On one condition.” Or course. It wouldn't be right if there wasn't one of those. We both turned slowly around to face him. “No more partner and crime action from you two for 2 weeks.” I sighed and looked at Danielle. Only one thing left to do. “How about you can keep your 20 dollars you owe and we make it 1 week?” Me and Danielle high-five before we turned back to Paul with our arms crossed. He looked hesitant at first but stuck his hand out. I quickly shook it and smiled at him. “Nice doing Business with you Paul.” We both giggled and ran back to the bus.
I beat Danielle and ran on the bus first out of breath. She climbed on not even a second later. “Why you guys in such a rush?” Harry said as we plopped down on the couch. I shrugged my shoulders and leaned back trying to catch my breath. Liam asked Danielle what Paul said and Danielle nodded in response. Liam pulled out his phone and texted Niall so he could ask her. The second Niall pulled out his phone he was all smiles. He looked at me and I nodded my head towards Alexis. “Allie would you liked you to finish the tour with us?” Her face light up and she looked at everyone else. We all nodded our heads so she turned back to Niall. “Do you want me to?” He grabbed her hand which made her instantly blush. “I would love it if you came.” She blushed even more and slowly nodded her head. “Okay.” Niall smiled and pulled her in for a hug.
“Aw!” I couldn't help it. I had to they were just so cute. Everyone looked at me and I put my hands up in surrender. “I just said what you guys were thinking.” That made them laugh and shake their heads at me. I rolled my eyes and leaned my head against Zayn. I felt him chuckle before his arm slipped around my waist and rested on my thigh of my sweat pants. “You look beautiful love.” He whispered into my ear as everyone went into their own conversations. I don't get how he thinks I'm beautiful when I'm wearing sweats an old long sleeved shirt with no makeup and my hair in a ponytail. “I don't see it but thank you.” He pulled me up to where he was looking into my eyes.
“Do I need to start singing? Because I will. 'You don't know-' ” I quickly covered his mouth with my hand. I looked over to see everyone staring at us. I smiled and uncovered his mouth only to have him start singing again. Quickly throwing my hand over his mouth again I said, “Okay. I get it.” He licked my hand making me move it away instantly. I wiped it on his shirt while smiling. “Say you're beautiful.” He said. I looked back at him confused. “What?” He started singing again and I almost didn't want to cover it but everyone was staring at us weirdly. “Fine. I'm beautiful.” I whispered. He smiled and kissed me. “Will you go on a date with me next week on our break from the tour?” I smiled and quickly nodded my head. “I would love to.” He pulled me in for a kiss again but this one I never wanted to end. It wouldn't have if someone didn't clear their throat. “Let's watch another movie.” I sighed and turned to the screen just as the movie started.
The rest of the day until the concert we were lazy. Me, Danielle, and Alexis didn't go all out on our outfits for the concert this time. We just wore simple outfits and simple makeup. The concert was the same. They were amazing on stage and of course funny when the twitter questions came on. The next couple of days were the same. We barley got to see the boys because they were either sleeping, rehearsing, or on stage at concerts. Of course we all understood that they had a career so Me, Danielle, and Alexis basically hung out together. We were able to sneak in a couple movies here and there with them but at least one of them would fall asleep. Niall and Alexis seemed to get closer over the days. We're all just waiting until he asks her out. Zayn made me keep my hand wrapped up until the bruise was fully gone. He was so sweet. Liam and Danielle were still doing perfectly fine. I come to the conclusion that they never fight.
Tonight they had their concert in San Diego which was cool. Now they had 3 days off in Las Vegas Nevada then there going to have a concert here and then on to the next city. Driving into the city at night time was gorgeous. I ended up taking a picture and posting it on twitter. A lot of people saw that we were now in Vegas and were freaking out. It was probably a good thing no one knew what hotel we were stay at. It didn't stop some fans from looking for us. When we pulled up at the hotel there was only a few people and the guys gladly signed stuff and took pictures. There was 6 beds so me and Zayn were going to share and Liam and Danielle were going to share. I didn't want Alexis having to share one with Niall if she was uncomfortable. After we got settled in I went straight to sleep.
It wasn't a nightmare that woke me up the next morning. It was the warm chest against my back and the arm around my waist. My face heated up instantly and I smiled. If I knew he would stop the nightmares I would sleep like this all the time. I slowly turned over while keeping his arm around my waist. Resting my head on his chest, I sighed and snuggled closer. His arm wrapped around me tighter and my smiled grew wider. “I could stay like this all day.” My eyes widened and I pulled away from him. “I thought you were sleeping.” He chuckled and pulled me back to him resting his chin on my head. “I was until I thought you were leaving me.” I guess he was right. I could stay like this all day. It felt good snuggling with him.
“Guys! Breakfast!” Louis and Harry were standing in the doorway, both still in there pajamas. “Ugh go away!” I groaned and hid my head in Zayn's chest. They came over and started shaking us. I swotted Harry's hand away making him chuckle. “I was afraid this was going to happen. You left us no choice. Niall! Liam!” I rolled my eyes at there attempt to scare us. How is Niall or Liam going to get us out of bed if Harry and Louis can't? There was footsteps running up the stairs and they stopped at our door. I didn't hear any talking so I knew they were either whispering or motioning with their hands. The next thing I know I was picked up and thrown over someone's shoulder. A scream escaped my mouth and my heart was pounding in my chest. I looked up at their hair and knew exactly who it was.
“Liam! Put me down!” I yelled while trying not to laugh. He just chuckled and continued down the stairs. I looked up and saw Louis, Harry, and Niall carrying Zayn downstairs also. Liam sat me down on a chair at the table and scooted my chair in. “Good morning!” Danielle and Alexis said at the same time. How can they be so cheerful this early. “It was good.” I said sending a fake smile to Liam which he gratefully returned. Louis, Harry, and Niall walked in and dropped Zayn on the chair next to. He glared at them while fixing his twisted shirt.
“Why did you guys have to wake us up?” Everyone was sitting around the table eating and goofing around while I sat here yawning. It felt like if I fell asleep right now I could sleep all day and all night. “We're are going sight seeing.” I nodded before finishing up my food and putting my plate in the sink. “I'm going to take a shower.” Not waiting for anyone to respond I ran up the stairs and straight to my room. I went to my suitcase and started shuffling through it. I decided just to wear one of Eli's old long sleeved shirts that had black, dark blue, and yellow stripes with short shorts and black vans. There was no way I'm wearing heels sight seeing.
It only took me an hour to get ready. All I did was shower and put my hair up. I was gonna do my makeup but the guys made a no makeup rule for the girls today. Me and Alexis gave up easily while Danielle on the other hand chased the guys around the hotel trying to get her makeup bags. She finally gave up after 15 minutes and plopped down on the couch next to me. “You don't need makeup love.” Liam said when he sat down next to her. She huffed in response making me laugh. “So stubborn.” Her eyes flicked to me with a glare. “You were blessed with natural beauty.” She looked at Alexis who nodded. “Thanks.” She smiled and hugged Liam before leaning over and hugging me.
“Let's go my pretties!” Louis yelled running over to the door. He opened and pushed everyone out one by one me being last. Zayn waited for me so we could walk behind everyone. He laced his fingers through mine and rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb instantly comforting me. “We have to go get Paul since we're going as a group.” I sighed and clicked the button for the level below ours. Paul and whoever else had the junior suite below ours. After getting Paul and another security guard, Tank his nickname, we went down to the lobby. There was some fans outside the hotel but we were still able to go through the front doors. Me and Zayn stayed before a little bit just enjoying each others company. I could see Louis and Harry were in the front holding a map.
“Let's go on our own.” Zayn whispered in my ear. I nodded my head and pointed to the left. He nodded his head and we casually slowed down more and more. We waited till they were at least 10 feet in front of us before turning and running across the little street next to us. Zayn squeezed my hand as we weaved in and out of people. “That was fun.” He chuckled and nodded his head. There wasn't a lot of places that looked like the aloud people under 21 so I had no idea where we were going. We just kept walking until we came to 2 place right next to each other that looked like it was meant for younger people. “Coca Cola World and M&M world. Wanna go in there babe?” I contemplated it before nodding my head.
We walked into M&M world first and looked around. There was everything you could think of. M&M pens and pencils, M&M stuffed toys, and M&M candy. Even more. We looked around for a few minutes before Zayn pulled me by my hand over to the different colored M&M tube things. “What colors?” Zayn asked as he looked in awe. He grabbed a bag and didn't wait for me to answer. Instead he started getting all the colors. Starting at one side and ending at the other. I giggled as he ran from color to color fulling the bag full to the top. He ran over to me and grabbed my hand before pulling me over to the red ones. “Put your mouth under it.” I looked at him and shook my head, smiling. I did what he said and he pulled the lever down filling my mouth with M&M's. I tried not to choke as I chewed and swallowed the mouth full. IT was to much chocolate for me.
“Your turn.” He smiled and handed me the bag before putting his mouth under the lever. I pulled it down filling his mouth full. He moved before I turned it off making M&M's go everywhere. My eyes widened and I quickly shut it off. Half the floor was full with them. I quickly grabbed Zayn by the arm and walked away. No one had saw it was us so we were safe. “I'm getting this!” I looked over and Zayn was holding a little statue. It had 4 different colored M&M's standing in front of the Las Vegas sign. “Good souvenir.” He smiled and pulled me over to the cashier person. He paid and we walked through the opening into coca cola world. “Polar bear's! They're my favorite animal!” There was polar bear's everywhere. Small ones, medium ones, and big ones. Some had coca cola bottles in their paws and others wore scarf's.
“Witch one do you want?” Zayn asked bring me back to reality. I looked at him shaking my head. “You don't have to.” He sighed and pulled to towards him. “Please babe.” He started doing puppy eyes and I instantly looked away. Don't fall for it. “But their so expensive. I don't like people spending their hard earned money on me.” I felt something soft touch my face and I looked back over at Zayn. He was holding a polar bear that was about medium sized and had a red scarf around his neck with 'Coca Cola' written on it. My eyes light up and I smiled.“This one it is.” He said and walked directly over to the cashier. By the time I realized what he was doing he had already paid and was standing in front of me again. “Thank you.” He nodded and kissed me before pulling me out the store.
“Oh my god! It's Zayn!” I looked over and saw a group of 5 girls freaking out and pointing at us. I nodded my head towards them, showing Zayn. He nodded and we started walking towards them. You could see them visibly pale as we got closer. Well as he got closer they didn't want to see me. “Hello loves.” They squealed and blushed deeply. He started signing stuff for them and taking pictures. He looked at me and winked. My face heated up but I smiled anyway. “You guys are so cute! Can I have a picture of both of you?” Zayn put his arm around my waist and kissed my cheek. After they got a few pictures I let him sign some more stuff before he said we had to go.
“Do you think we should go find everyone else?” He sighed and slowly nodded his head. “I enjoyed this time we had babe. I'm sorry we don't get a lot of it.” I instantly shook my head. “Babe it's your job. They're your fans. They deserve your attention. I understand.” He kissed my forehead and thanked me for understanding. Of course I understood. I don't ever want to come between him and his career. “Maybe we should call them.” I said after awhile of walking around. “I honestly think we're lost.” He chuckled and pulled out his phone. After a few rings they finally answered. “Where are you guys?” He nodded his head and said OK before hanging up. “We're meeting them at the hotel.” I nodded my head and grabbed his hand, entwining our fingers.
It took 20 minutes for us to find our way back to the hotel. We had walked the wrong way for 5 minutes before realizing. It had us laughing the whole way back. When we walked into the room everyone was sitting on the couches waiting for us. “What took you guys so long? We wanted to go to dinner.” Louis asked throwing his hands in the air. I looked at Zayn and we both started laughing. “Kinda went the wrong way.” They started laughing and shaking their heads at us. “You guys should be blonde.” Harry mumbled. I glared at him while Zayn hit him in the back of his head. “You can't blame us we have never been here before.” I said sitting on the couch next to Niall. I set my purse down next to me and grabbed my polar bear before settling him on my lap.
“Aw how cute!” Louis reached over and snatched him out of my hands. I gasped and jumped up. “Give me Leo back.” He started laughing and playing with him. Zayn reached over from where he was standing behind Louis and grabbed him. Louis started pouting while Zayn handed me him back and kissed my forehead. When Zayn wasn't looking I looked over his shoulder and stuck my tongue out at Louis. His mouth feel open with a gasp while he held his chest over his heart. “Hazza she just stuck her tongue out at me.” Harry played along and shook his head and Louis. “No she didn't.” Louis looked around at everyone else who were also shaking their heads. He crossed his arms and pouted making me, Danielle, and Alexis laugh.
“Anyways where are we going to eat?” Niall said bring the main topic back up. As if on cue my stomach growled making him laugh. “How do burgers sound?” Everyone seemed to agree so Danielle continued. “We could eat at In-N-Out burger. It's not on the strip so it won't be busy.” We decided not everyone should go so Louis, Harry, and Zayn went to pick it up while the rest of us made a bed on the floor for everyone to lay on. “I'm going to change.” I ran up the stairs and into mine and Zayn's room. I contemplated on what to wear before throwing on black pajama shorts. Pulling off my shirt but, keeping my tank top on, I looked down at my destroyed arms. The cuts from 3 weeks ago were already healed but bold scars still remained.
“How long?” I looked up and saw Liam standing in the doorway already in his pajamas. “What?” He walked over to me and grabbed my arms tracing the newest scars. “When was the last time?” I pulled my arm away and rubbed the back of my neck. “3 weeks today.” He nodded his head and hugged me. “I'm proud.” I smiled into his chest before pulling away. “Thank you.” He nodded and kissed my head. He walked back towards the door but turned around before he turned the corner. “I know Harry said you can talk to him but you can always talk to me to.” I smiled and nodded my head. “Thanks again.” I listened as he walked down the hall and down the stairs. Walking back over to my suitcase and I grabbed my long sleeved dark gray shirt and pulled it on. As I looked in the mirror I noticed it wasn't my shirt but Eli's instead. I pulled the collar up to my nose and smelled. I could still smell his cologne. God I missed my best friend.
I pushed the images out of my head before I had a break down. “You ok babe?” My eyes snapped to the doorway where Zayn was standing. I wiped my eyes making sure I wasn't crying and nodded my head. “Well we got the food. You can go save our spots if you want while I change. Also get the M&M's and put them in a bowl for everyone.” I nodded and headed for the door. Before I could get out the door he wrapped his arms around my waist. “I think you forgot something.” I turned around in his arms and tapped my chin. “I don't think I did.” He sighed and pouted his bottom lip. “Babe.” He whined making me laugh. I gave in and pecked him on the lips. He sighed and let me go when he realized that's all he was getting.
Grabbing a bowl from the kitchen I walked into the living room and got the bag of M&M's. I poured them in and then set them on the floor with the food. Everyone was already laying down in their spots so me and Zayn would have to sleep by the couch. I put two pillows where our heads would lay and sat down. “What movie are we watching?” I asked no one in particular. “Grown ups.” Harry was the one to answer me. Zayn came down a minute later so everyone got their food. Half way through the movie my eyes started getting heavy so I curled up against Zayn with my head on his chest. He chuckled and put his arm around my waist. “Go to sleep.” He didn't have to tell me twice. I slowly let my eyes close and I was instantly out.
“So what are we doing today?” I asked as I threw my wet hair in a bun. Everyone got up pretty late this morning. By the time we were all out of the showers it was the afternoon. We had watched a movie when we woke up but everyone was restless. “How about me and you hang out tonight?” Zayn said walking into the living room. He was the last one to take a shower so his hair was flat and damp. So damn sexy I had to look away so I didn't drool. “Sounds good. When do you wanna go babe?” He thought about it for a second. “How about when ever you're ready?” I nodded my head and walked out the room. Wait an outfit. I quickly backed up and walked into the living room. “How should I dress?” I hope nothing to fancy because I have no dresses. “Casual.” Perfect. I could work with that. I kissed him quickly before getting up and running up the stairs.
Something casual. Something casual. I tapped my chin a few times before the perfect outfit popped into my head. Purple skinny jeans, black and white striped long sleeve shirt and black converse. Oh wow, I guess I'm pulling a Louis tonight. I quickly grabbed a white tank before running into the bathroom and changing. I pulled my hair down, blow dried it and then curled it lightly making little waves. Just as I was about to start my makeup there was a knock on the bathroom door. I opened it to find Danielle and Alexis with their arms crossed over their chest. “When were you going to tell us so we could help you?” Danielle asked raising her eyebrows.
“It's not a date. We're just hanging out together. You act like we're not already dating.” Alexis sighed and uncrossed her arms. “At least let us do your makeup. We'll just do eyeliner and mascara.” She pouted her lip and started the puppy eyes. I laughed at her attempt. Might as well let them though. They both do good makeup. “Fine. Water proof please.” She squealed and ran out, grabbed her makeup case and ran back in. “Sit.” She pushed me down on the toilet seat, smiling brightly. Danielle did my mascara while Alexis did my eyeliner.
“Thank you guys!” They nodded their heads and then pulled me downstairs. Everyone but Zayn was downstairs in the living room. I guess no one else is going out tonight. “Nice outfit.” Louis said. I could tell he was being sarcastic. “Not just you that can pull of stripes Lou.” I smiled at him while everyone else laughed. We glared at each other for a few seconds before laughing. “Zayn's getting ready in my room if you're wondering where he is.” Harry said after a few minutes. I nodded my head and thanked him. After 5 more minutes I gave up and went to check on Zayn. I knocked on Harry's door but when no one answered I walked. Zayn was sitting on the bed looking at his phone. “You ok?” He looked up at me with a pained expression. “Anything you need to tell me?” His voice was hard and a little scary. “What are you talking about?” In one quick movement he was holding his phone in my face. On the screen their was a picture of me holding 3 pregnancy tests. Shit.
“Zayn-” I tried to tell him that they weren't for me but he instantly cut me off. “Is it Harry's?” His eyes were hard and his mouth in a tight line. My eyes widened as I gaped at him. “First off I'm not fucking pregnant. And second why the hell would it be Harry's?”
“I don't fucking know! You guys were always together at the other hotel! He was always in your room. One night for what? An hour?!”
“We were talking! Friends talk!” I yelled back. He rubbed the back of his neck and clenched his jaw. “How am I supposed to believe you?! You're not even a virgin!” Of course I knew he would use that against me. He had asked me if I was a virgin the other day on the bus while we were playing truth or dare. If it was my choice, trust me, I would be a virgin. “Maybe because I'm your fucking girlfriend. And what does that have to do with anything?! It's my past! You have a past to!”
“Yeah I have a past to but I didn't sleep around! I'm waiting for someone I love!” My eyes stung as they filled with tears. He basically called me a slut when I've never had sex in my life when I actually wanted to. “You don't know anything about my past.” I whispered as the tears over filled and streamed down my face. “Then tell me! You obviously talk to Harry!” He yelled.
“I can't.” I whispered back. He sigh heavily and clenched his jaw tighter. “Then maybe you should be with Harry! You can obviously talk to him!” I heard foot steps entering the room but I ignored them. My heart was pounding hard in my chest as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
“You don't think I want to tell you?! I can't tell you because I'm scared Zayn! Is that what you wanted to hear?! I'm scared you will think I'm a freak and leave me! I'm scared of how you will react! I've lost someone I've loved before and I can't live through that again! I don't want to lose you!” By now I was sobbing. I felt someone try to comfort me but I just shrugged them off. I needed to get this out. “I'm scared because every time I so much as think about my past I have panic attacks! You don't know what I have been through so don't sit there and basically call me a slut! I might not be a virgin but trust me if I actually had a choice I would be.” With that, I turned around and pushed through everyone and out the bedroom door.
I ran down the hall, down the stairs and out the door. Without stopping I ran into the elevator and pushed the lobby button. When I got to the bottom I went out the back way so I didn't have to see the fans. By now everyone knew I was Zayn's girlfriend and if they saw me running out the hotel crying I know a rumor would be started. One that could ruin Zayn's career and I didn't want that. I didn't know where I was going so I just kept running. Running from my mind like always. If only I had a blade right now. I wouldn't need to be running right now.
“OK what the hell was that about?” I asked turning back to Zayn. He sighed and picked his phone up of the bed. He handed it to me and sat back down on the bed. I touch the screen waking it up and my eyes widened. “What is it?” Liam asked. I handed it him the phone and his face paled. He pasted it to Louis, who pasted it to Niall, who pasted it to Danielle and Alexis. “She bought them for me.” Danielle whispered looking around at everyone. I looked at Liam and he looked like he was about to pass out. “I'm not pregnant. I was just sick.” He instantly started breathing again.
“Danielle. You've been with her the most. She didn't by anymore razors right?” I heard Zayn gasp behind me but I didn't turn away from Danielle. “No she didn't.” I nodded my head and thought for a minute. We needed to find her. Just cause she didn't have any does mean she can't buy some. “You guys start looking for her. Everyone have your phones on loud. If you find her call me.” They all nodded their heads and took off out the door. “What did she mean if she had a choice?” Zayn whispered. I sighed and sat next to him on the bed. Adrian was probably going to hate me but I knew she rather me tell him than her. “Well lad. I guess I'll tell you. But you have to promise me you are not going to treat her different.” He nodded his head and looked at me straight in the eyes. “I promise.” That's all I needed so I started from the beginning.
Finally spotting what I was looking for I ran faster. As I got to the door of the store I stopped and caught my breath before walking in. I walked down aisle after aisle before I found the one I was looking for. $7.00. I pulled out all the change I had and started counting. $4.32 ugh maybe this was a sign. I shoved the change back in my purse not bothering to put it in my wallet. With shaky hands I put the box back on the shelf and slowly moved backwards. When I was far enough I turned around and walked away. My mind was screaming at me to go back and get them but I made my feet keep moving. It's been 3 weeks and I actually made someone proud. How would Liam feel if he knew I re-lapsed? How would any of them feel? I know I would be pissed at myself.
My legs shake as I walk through the people filled streets. I didn't even know where I am. To be honest I don't really care. My mind was like a never ending race. Every part of my life was flashing in front of my eyes. Everything up to Zayn's face when I was yelling at him. I wasn't mad at him. How was he supposed to know I was raped. Just the fact that he thought I had sex with Harry pissed me off. Yeah he was in my room but he was comforting me. Don't get me wrong Harry is a sweet kid but I think of him more as a brother. Zayn could have asked me instead of accusing me. He didn't have to sit there and basically call me a slut when he didn't know anything. This is why I should have told him everything. None of this mess would have happened.
My train of thought was interrupted by a faint ringing noise. Instantly knowing it was my phone I ignored it and kept walking. I just needed time to be alone. I haven't been alone in awhile and I just need to think. Everyone was probably looking and that made me feel bad. Making them worry was the last thing I wanted to do. In the distance I could see a park so I picked up my past and continued towards it. When I finally got there I found a bench with a table and sat down. I put my purse on the table and dug in it until I found my phone. Ignoring all the missed calls I had, I went to my contacts. Scrolling down until I found his name I clicked call and let it ring.
“Adrian! Where are you?” He sounded out of breath and worried. “Liam I'm fine. Tell everyone to go back to the hotel. I'll be there later. I just want to be alone for right now.” He sighed and I could picture him running his hand through his hair. “At least let me know where you are.” I looked around for a street name but didn't see one. “Honestly I don't even know where I am. I'll find my way back though.” I laughed a little but I didn't hear him laugh back. I guess that wasn't funny. “What if you can't find your way back Adrian?” He sounded angry and I don't blame him. I would be angry to if the situation was switched but they needed to understand I need time. “I will. Send everyone home please. I promise I'll be there later.”
Hanging up before he could answer, I shoved my phone back in my purse. I leaned my head on my arms that were on the table and sighed. My breath came out shakily as the tears made there way down my cheeks. I could barley cry anymore, there was only a few tears shed and my head was pounding for all of it. I don't even know what to do anymore. I know someone told Zayn about what happened in my past. Either it was Harry or Liam and that just added on more stress. Knowing that Zayn now knows what happens in my past is scary. It can either make or break our relationship. If he didn't want me after this I guess I would understand. Who would want me? I'm broken and my mind is fucked. I have nightmares every night and I cut myself. I'm running from my own mind.
Breathing in slowly, I cleared my mind of everything. Thinking about Zayn and I's relationship was making me worry even more. I couldn't just sit here and wait for what's coming. I needed to face the facts and not run from my problems anymore. Pulling out my phone I realized it had been 30 minutes since I talked to Liam. I sighed and stood up stretching in the process. I looked around for a second and found the way I came before walking that way. Finding the hotel took me another 30 minutes. What made me find it after awhile were the fans standing outside the lobby door. After finding the door in the back I started to the elevator and up to our floor.
Finding myself standing outside the hotel door I couldn't seem to get my hand to move so I could knock. My heart was beating abnormally fast and my palms were sweating. Turning away from the door I looked at the empty wall in front of me. My phone rang loud throughout the hallway causing it to echo. I cursed under my breath and dug around for it. Finally spotting it, I quickly pulled it out and looked at the name. Of course she would have to call and make my day worse. I sighed clicked call making the loud sound end. “What?” She had the nerve to call me. I can't believe it. “Now is that anyway to talk to your mom?” I heard her laugh and for the first time in awhile it made me smile. It wasn't one of those evil laughs. It was an actual giggle that I haven't heard in almost a year. She actually sounded sober and happy.
“Mommy?” I whispered. There was a sniffing sound on the other end like she was crying. “Yes baby girl. I'm so sorry for how I treated you since your father died. I know you are no where near forgiving me and I understand but I just wanted to tell you I'm in rehab. Me and Todd are still together. He was the one that told me I needed to get my life back on track and I knew you were the most important thing and I didn't want to lose you. I just want a family. One with you in it.” For a second my heart almost jumped at the opportunity to be a family again. Then I thought to about the family I had made. The people who never once hurt me. Yeah she was my mom but I didn't want to be in her family. It just wasn't a 'family' without dad and he wasn't coming back.
“You're right. I am no where near forgiving you. I'm happy you have someone in your life that cares enough to send you to rehab. I am proud of you but you have to understand that even if you are my mom I've lived on my own for awhile now. I've made friends and basically a family that will never hurt me like you did. I would love to be in your family but it just won't feel right.” Her breathing was shaky and I knew she was crying. My heart broke but I didn't cry. I stood strong. Maybe I was being to harsh but she had to understand it's going to take awhile for this relationship to work.
“I understand. Well I got to go honey.”
“I- I love you.” I don't understand why it was so hard for me to say it. I know I meant it so that's all that matters. “I love you to. Goodnight.” There was a click and then the line went dead. I let out a breath that I felt like I was holding for awhile and turned towards the door. Harry was standing there smiling, leaning one shoulder against the closed door. His hair was messy and he was still in his regular clothes. I smiled as he walked over to me and pulled me in for a hug. “You really consider us your family?” I pulled away from the hug and looked him in the eyes. “Yeah. I guess I do.” He smiled brightly and squished me up against his chest. “You're our family to. Stuck forever.” I giggled and pushed him away causing him to chuckle.
My smiled faded when I looked back at the door. I knew Zayn was in there and I don't really know if I could handle seeing him after everything that happened today. It wasn't like I never wanted to see him again it was just the fact that I knew he knew about my past that scared me. “He's sleeping.” I looked up at Harry and saw him nodding towards the door. I guess if Zayn was sleeping I would see him in the morning. By then maybe it wouldn't be that awkward. He's probably tired from everything that happened today. I know I am.
Following Harry into the hotel room, I was hesitant at first. He pulled me along behind him all the way into the living room. The floor was still covered in the blankets from last night but they looked straightened up like they had been remade. Liam, Danielle, Niall, Alexis, and Louis were all sitting in a half circle with a bunch of food in the middle. The TV was paused on a title of a movie which was Forest Gump. There was two seats left open for me and Harry on the end. Danielle, being the first to see us walk in, jumped up and hugged me. “Don't ever scare us like that again.” She whispered. I pulled back and held my pinky out. She wrapped hers around mine and we both kissed our hands. That was what me, her, and Alexis made up couple days ago. I hugged everyone else before I was pulled to my seat. “Movie time!” Louis yelled making me laugh. They always knew how to cheer me up.
The next day I woke up with a stiff back. I usually never sleep on my back but it hurt my ribs when I sleep on my side. Sitting up slowly I twisted around trying to get my back to crack. When I looked around the living room was empty of everyone. All the trash was picked up and all the blankets were out of sight. The living room was spotless and the only thing that was in here was my pillow and blanket. I listened closely but didn't hear any movement in the hotel. Where was everyone? It's 11 in the morning. Sighing slightly, I stood up grabbing my blanket and pillow before walking upstairs. I stopped in the doorway of my room when I noticed a body under the blankets. I instantly knew it was Zayn by his hair. Plus this was OUR bedroom. It didn't look like he was awake so I tiptoed over to the bed and put them down before walking back out the door.
Once I got around the corner I ran down the stairs and back into the living room. Sitting on the couch, I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. There wasn't much to chose from so I just put on a random channel. My phone went off telling me I had a text message. Peeking at it, it showed a envelope that read text message and then under it said Hazza
. All the guys plus Alexis and Danielle had special names in my phone. Harry was obviously Hazza
. Liam is Li
. Niall's is Nialler
. Louis was Lou
. Zayn's well his is weird but I still like it. It's ZaynieBoo:]
. Danielle's is obviously Dani
and Alexis, her's is Allie
of course. All pretty natural except Zayn's.
Clicking read I skimmed over the message and replied a simple 'Kay'. All it said was they were shopping and they'll be back after 2. Also that they were going to take Zayn but he was still tired. I knew he felt bad about leaving me with Zayn but it didn't matter. I wasn't mad at Zayn actually quit the opposite. I missed him. Yeah he crossed the line when practically calling me a whore but it was just the heat of the moment. The only thing that still pissed me off though was how he asked if I was pregnant with Harry's baby. Maybe I did spend a lot of time with him but he made me feel better. It was easy to talk to him. I could only hope it would be as easy to talk to Zayn as it is to Harry. He obviously knew everything now and I couldn't hide it from him anymore. We were going to have to talk I was just to chickened out to make the first move.
“What are you watching?” I jumped and grabbed my heart. It was beating fast in my chest. “Oh my god you scared the shit out of me.” I laughed under my breath as I turn to face Zayn. His hair was messy but still managed to look sexy. All he had was a pair of green plaid pajama bottoms on leaving his chest in view. I quickly turned away, blushing, before he could tell I was gawking at him. “Sorry I didn't mean to scare you.” He slowly walked over to the couch and plopped down. By the way he looked and walked I could tell he was still tired. “You can change it. I- I'm not really watching anything.” I don't know why but being around him made me nervous. Maybe it was the fact that he now knew my whole past.
Instead of changing the channel he turned it off and turned his body towards me. He grabbed both my wrist softly making me turn towards him. I leaned my back against the arm chair as he scooted towards me till our knees were touching. For a minute he just looked into my eyes without saying anything. I could feel all his emotions just by staring in his hazel beauties. His hands didn't let go of my wrists as his thumbs slipped under the sleeve. I closed my eyes as he his thumb skimmed over the top few cuts. Pulling on my wrist, I tried to get away from him but his grip tightened. “Zayn.” I whispered. He ignored me and kept his eyes trained on my wrist.
Before I realized what he was doing he pushed me back and pinned my legs down with his own. He kept a grip on my arm as he pulled up my sleeves. His eyes widened at the damage but he kept pushing them up all they way to my elbow. I turned my head towards the wall as he sat there staring at them. He didn't say anything and it made me more scared each second we sat in silence. A lone tear fell off the tip of my nose and down to the floor. Just as I was about to look at him I felt his weight lift off me. I sat up and pulled my sleeves down. He was pacing back and forth. His hands in his hair almost looking like he was trying to pull it out. Before I could process what was happening his fist launched out and connected with the wall making a gaping hole right next a picture.
“Zayn!” I got up and ran over to him. His forehead was against the wall with both hands on either side. His breathing was deep making me scared he wasn't done getting his anger out. I put my hand on his back making him jump slightly. I don't even know what to do in these situations. “Love?” I whispered afraid of making his mad. That's the last thing I needed. Him freaking out on me. I could see his jaw clenching and both his hands were in fists. There was a tear trailing down his cheek. My head told me I needed to leave him alone but my heart told me to comfort him.
“When?” He asked through clenched teeth. I looked at his eyes and saw them tightly closed. “When what?” Before I could even get the whole question out he already had me against the wall. His hands were on either side of my head and his body against mine. There was still tear stains on his cheeks. “When was the last time?” Really since when does that matter? What am I supposed to say. Cause I know the exact day I did it last. “The day I met you.” He hit the wall next to my head making me clench my eyes close. Memories threatened to flood my mind but I pushed them back. That's the last thing I need. “Why haven't you done it again?” His eyes were staring at me intensively, I could feel them. I swallowed the lump in my throat and cooled my breathing. “Because of you.”
His body was no longer pressed against mine. I slowly opened my eyes and looked over. He had his back to the wall with his hands cover his face. He was visibly shaking as he slid down the wall. Only then did I realize he was crying. No correction he sobbing. I wasted no time and pushed away from the wall. I crouched in front of him and put my hand on his head. He lifted his head and looked at me. His eyes were already red and bloodshot. He sat up and wrapped his arms around my waist putting his forehead on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his neck and played with his hair. “Can you not hide them from me?” He whispered. I pulled back and looked at him. He looked at me straight in the eyes. His emotions were under control now. “Zayn. Everyone's going to stare at my arms.”
“Not it public. Just when were on the bus or a hotel.” I sighed and looked away. He played with the hem of my shirt lifting it higher. I slowly nodded but told him to keep the tank top on. He pulled my shirt off and threw it on the couch. I put my arms around his neck and finally looked back at him. “What's wrong?” I shook my head and continued to play with his hair. “Tell me.” It left no room for protest making me sigh. There was no getting out of this one. “They just make me self-conscious.” He grabbed my arms and unhooked them from around his neck. He put his lips to my arms kiss after every word. “You.” Kiss. “Are.” Kiss. “Very.” Kiss. “Beautiful.” Kiss. He would look into my eyes everyone time he said a word making me smile brighter every time.
Wiping away the tears that were threatening to spill, I put my arms back around his neck. He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pulled me closer hugging me to his body making me wanted to melt from his touch. “I'm sorry for our fight. I really shouldn't have called you a slut and let you explain.” I shook my head and pulled away to look at him in the eyes. “You don't need to apologize I understand. I would have acted the same way. Just tell me why you asked if it would be Harry's?” Guilt filled his eyes and he looked away from me. “I don't know. Just jealous I guess.” I smiled and shook my head at him. It took a lot to admit you're jealous. “You have no reason to be. I don't think of Harry like that. He's like a brother to me. Just like Niall, Louis, and Liam. I love you Zayn. I told you that to.” He smiled like I brightened his word 100x more. “I love you to babe. I just wish you would have told me your past instead of me having to find out from Harry.”
“I know. I'm sorry. I guess I just chickened out. I didn't want you to hate me. Or think I have to screwed up of a mind cause I do. It's just. I-I can't lose you Zayn.” I whispered the last part looking away. He grabbed my chin making me look at him. “You will never lose me.” He pushed his lips to mine making me melt instantly. He pulled away to soon making me whimper. I missed him more than I thought I did. “Will you do something for me?” His voice was a serious tone making me meet his gaze. “What?” He hesitated and I instantly knew I wasn't going to like what he was about to say. “Get help.” I knew it. I don't need help but it felt like he was almost pleading with me. I tried looking away from his puppy eyes but I ended up falling into the trap and nodding. He smiled and crashed his to mine. I guess it will be worth it. Maybe I do need help.
“Now. Any ideas on how to fix the hole in the wall?” I looked behind him at the hole and a idea instantly popped into my mind. “Get a hammer.” He looked at me confused but shrugged and walked out the hotel door. He was probably going down to the lobby. Don't know how he is going to get one but whatever. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a chair. They went heavy so I picked it up and carried it to living room. I set it down and climbed on it looking at the picture. It was held up by a nail so my idea would work perfect. Zayn came back not even 5 minutes later handing me a hammer. I got the nail out of the wall and moved the picture over so it was covering the hole. I made sure it was straight before hammering it back into the wall. “Noticeable?”
“Is what noticeable?” I looked over and saw Niall, Alexis, Danielle, Liam, Louis, and Harry standing in the door way with bags. My eyes widened and I looked at Zayn. They always have bad timing! Not knowing what to say I started whistling and took the chair back to the kitchen. Walking back into the living Zayn was sitting on the couch with everyone standing in front of him. Liam pointed at me and then to the seat next to Zayn. Sighing dramatically, I walked over and plopped down next to him. He grabbed my hand and entwined our fingers. “So lovebirds. What were you guys up to?” Louis asked crossing his arms. I shrugged and watched him pace in front of us. “I don't know what you're talking about.” I smiled as Zayn muffled a laugh with a cough.
“Really? Than what is this?” He smirked as he lifted my shirt of the table. My cheeks heated up at the thought but I still pointed to my tank top. “I have a shirt on still.” He sighed heavily and threw his hands in the air. “I give up!” He sat on the other couch with his arms crossed. “Good thing you're not a detective huh Lou?” He rolled his eyes why everyone else laughed. I elbowed Zayn and nodded towards the picture. Why not tell them. It's not like their gonna go snitch to someone. He laughed and got up off the couch. He walked over to the picture and slid it till you could see the hole. Liam's eyes widened and he ran over to it. “Zayn! What the hell!” At least he didn't think it was me. Well you could clearly see Zayn's bruising knuckles. “It's not a big deal. I hide it.” Liam sighed and raked his hand through his hair. “Fine. Fine.” I smiled at Zayn who returned it with a wink. The rest of the day the guys just wanted to stay in and watch movies. It was actually quit fun and memorable.
*1 month later*
The rest of the tour was amazing. Me and Zayn's relationship was better than ever. We haven't fought at all since in Las Vegas. As promised I got help while we were on the road. It was hard switching from different therapists but it really helped. I haven't self-harmed since the day I met Zayn. My mom sent me a lot of money so I was able to support myself and pay for food sometimes for everyone. Danielle and Liam were perfect as ever and so were Niall and Alexis. Harry's still a flirt and Louis is still the crazy/funny one. No one's really changed and I liked that. The guys aren't going back home for a few days. I don't even know what me and Zayn are going to do when he leaves. It's torturing me to know he's going to be in a different continent. Alexis was lucky. Niall asked her to move there with him and Danielle already lives with Liam. It kinda hurts that Zayn didn't ask me to go. Like he didn't want me to move with him.
Today they had a interview. Me, Danielle, and Alexis had nothing to do so we tagged along. The boys all ran from Paul when they had free time before the interview. It was funny when he caught Liam and carried him like a baby to the dressing room. Paul was like a dad to them and me. He was really fun to be on tour with but I could tell he missed his family along with the boys and Danielle. I of course missed my mom but we talk on the phone all the time. I felt bad because Alexis didn't have a family.
“Guys you're on in 5.” Zayn happily grabbed my hand and pulled me along behind the group. “Zayn?” He looked down at me and stopped walking. “Yes love?” I looked down at the ground and sighed. “What happens when you go home?” I asked finally looking back at him. He sighed and wiped away a stray tear from my cheek. “I don't know love.” I nodded slowly and turned back around following after the group. He fell back into step with me and entwined our fingers.
While the boys sat on stage me and the girls sat in front of the audience but to the side. The lady introduced herself and then the boys did their famous 'Hi we're One Direction.' In sync and everything. She started of asking them questions about their tour and if they had fun. Then she started questioning about me, Danielle, and Alexis. Niall and Liam told her that Danielle and Alexis were going back home with them. Zayn on the other hand just sat there. The guys looked at him and so did they lady but he just sat there.
“So Zayn. Not taking your girlfriend home with you?” He scratched the back of his neck looking uncomfortable. “I don't know. I think it might be to soon.” I glanced at Danielle and saw her glance at me. I guess he was right. It is to soon but if he did ask me I couldn't saw no. He means to much to me. Yeah Alexis was already moving with Niall but she had no where else to go. Plus they truly did love each other. Ugh I love Zayn to. I'm so confused. I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked back up at the stage. They moved on from the conversation to a new one but Zayn didn't really pay attention. A few times the guys had to nudge him or snap in his face.
The interview was only about 20 minutes and then we met them back in the dressing room. Zayn was the only one that didn't come back. “Where's Zayn?” I asked as Harry took a seat next to me. He looked over at me a second and sighed. “He went outside for a second.” I stood up and felt Harry grabbed my wrist. Before he could say anything I yanked my hand away and walked out the door. I walked down the hall and pushed the back door up. He was standing against the wall in the shade, deep in thought.
“You ok?” He glanced my way and nodded before looking back at the sky. I sighed and walked over to him. I leaned against the wall next to him and I put my head on his shoulder. He slipped his arm around my waist and kissed my head. “It's really to soon huh?” He stood in front of me and slipped both arms around my waist. “I just don't want to go to fast. What if you come out there and live with me but we break up?”
“Then she can live with us.” Louis and Harry.
“Or us.” Liam and Danielle.
“Or maybe us.” Niall and Alexis.
They had been listening to our conversation the whole time. Zayn smiled at them before looking back down at me. “Well then babe. Will you move in with me?” I smiled and crashed my lips to him. He tightened his arms around my waist. “Enough with the PDA!” Louis yelled making everyone laugh. I pulled away from Zayn with a light blush on my cheeks. “I guess that's a yes?” He laughed. “That's a hell yes.” He laughed and kissed me again making Louis groan. Yup. My life was perfect and I wouldn't change it for anyone or anything.
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 14.09.2012
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