Never Learning
The door slammed. I looked up from my book. Dad looked energetic but when he met my gaze, it all drained from him as if I stabbed the source.
"Hey, Bekah?" he questioned rather than greeted. I closed my book, giving him my full attention. "What would you say if I got married?"
Oh, now I understood. The anger flared in my veins and an image of Martha about to hit me flashed in my mind. "To whatever God that gives a crap, I'll be out if you want to. I'm not going to deal with another step-witch for you."
Surprisingly, no anger reined my voice. He pestered. "She wants to meet you. At least meet her."
I shook my head. "Just because your first impression says she's nice doesn't mean she is. Do you realize that every human has an inner demon? I would think you'd pick up that after Martha and Linda. Even you, a Mormon with porn."
Dad flinched but didn't deny it so I continued. "For the record, when I download things to print them, I delete the file from the Download folder."
"Just give her a chance," he said. sounding so desperate. I got up with my book.
"Dad, in the last seventeen years, you never asked this of me, you forced it. This time, it's Hell no. Get married on your own time with me not around. I may be almost be eighteen but that doesn't mean I have to deal with judgmental retards who don't know shit about caring for a kid not their own," I said and walked passed. I paused at my door way, knowing the one thing I wanted to throw in his face. I fought tears, knowing my voice will quiver. "You never allowed me that last reprieve to be in Vegas for my birthday so I could say goodbye to my friends who were actually there for me when I faced your bullshit. Why should I say hello to your next bitch for you?"
I didn't want a response. I slammed my door, the tears coming down as pouring rain that I yearned for but this was in pain. I had placed so much hope to have that one last chance to smile and laugh with them, try to make up for my pathetic failures and to gather strength to face San Antonio, Texas. Yet, I'm left with this guilt, remorse, tears, and so many ways to make myself bleed.
I slid to the floor, brought my knees up and buried my face.


Tag der Veröffentlichung: 07.07.2011

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