Maria Sanchez: "Let's being"


I must have been 16 at the time. It was summer when I met him: he was tall, Handsome, pearly white teeth, medium brown skin tone, clean cut hair, and a boyish charm to match.


I for one was a little pudgy, dark in complexion, messy long curly Black hair, with big brown eyes; which I must say was my prettiest feature on my body.


That summer to me was the best.Spending time with him, going on movie dates, and getting to know him. As one should do, being a teenage female still trying to find her way around boys, puberty, sex, love, and all the little in-betweens didn't help much. Due to the fact that half the females I knew already had sex or was about to "Do it" like my friends would say as they chuckled with immaturity. 


But summer was coming to an end along with my teenage summer fling. Knowing that I may start school and never be seeing him again worried me. Never did it cross my mind to ask him what school he was going to. He was always talking about moving back with his dad that lived nowhere near the school district with that in mind, my summer was over and it was time for school. 


One thing I didn't miss about school (as if I had missed anything about it) was waking up 6:30 in the morning to get ready for a place where humans were packed into a box for 7hrs out of the day; to be packed into another box filled with 20 to 30 personalities for at least 30 minutes. It was just one of those things I could do without but here I am walking through the halls getting pushed, bumped into, and looking into the eyes of many freshmen that are scared shit-less, as their fears could be smelled from a mile away by senior boys and girls ready to make an examples out of them. 

"MELISSAAAAAAAAAAA!", my name being screamed from the end of the hall by Ester. Now Ester was your typical "pretty girl"; Tan skin tone, long jet black hair, light brown eyes, curvy, breast, and ass to match her proportionate 5ft 4 body. I was envious of her confidence and looks, she was hated on by many girls which started a lot of fights over boys but that didn't stop me from being her friend. I knew her since the 8th grade, she was always nice to me, telling me how much she loved my curly black hair that complimented my dark complexion,"Oh mami, your hair is so pretty" she always told me. 


"Oh Dios mío. Melissa, you got so skinny AHHH YOUR HAIR. YOU straighten it"Ester said. I haven't seen Ester over the summer since she left for D.R for her grandmother Funeral and with the hustle and bustle of the funeral, with family members that spoke little to no English, it was hard keeping up with her and staying in contact a long with working retail for the summer, lifting heavy boxes plus standing on my feet for most of the day I was bound to lose the weight. 

"yeah" as I giggled tucking my now straighten hair behind my ears " well, do you like it?" while running my slim fingers through my hair as I look to her for reassurance, " I love it," Ester said. *giggling*  "you better love it, I spent hours getting it this straight" with the now mid-back hair length that is no longer curly, I smiled. " soooo, hand over your schedule, I want to see if we got classes together". Ester stretching her hands out while I rummage through my book bag trying to find the folded up paper " ah, here you go". passing her the paper; I stood there watching her scan both paper carefully. "YEEEESS, Mira" looking over the paper with her "we got 1st, 2nd, 3rd, lunch, and the 7th period together" while hugged each other screaming.


*brrrring* The repeated hammering of the school belling remind us that we only have 5 minutes left to get to class. 




Me: "I'm I boring you?"

Maria Sanchez: "No, *Smiling* Please continue Mrs. Perlo"


Now with classes out the way, it was lunch time. I stood by the girl's bathroom waiting for Ester to arrive so we could walk to the cafeteria together. On our way there, pushing through lost kids, getting in the line to get to our food. We took our seat at a table with girls we knew as chatter filled the air with about 200 students. 

As the other girls spoke about their summer, Ester nudged me "so, what happened to that guy over the break huh?". While eating her bag of chips patiently waiting for my answer, leaning over looking in my eyes. "oh, I really don't know .....we just stop talking, I think he moved back with his Dad" *shaking her head in disapproval* "Boys are stupid, I mean look at you, your beautiful. RIGHT, SAM?" shouting at Sam across the table clearly engaged in her own conversation. 

Sam happily shouted back "Right" as she smiled at me with her braces in full view nodding her pastel pink hair that was cut right under her ears to shape her round face. The color pink made Sam caramel colored skin and freckles even prettier with her dark green eyes that added to her looks. " Don't even worry about him, you know? just another to replace" while looking at Ester as they both nod their heads in agreement. 

With 10 minutes of lunch left and Ester still talking my ears off. I saw him I SAW HIM. I blinked my eyes, rubbing them vigorously making sure they weren't playing tricks on me to look up and see my teenage fling standing at the far end of the room surround by girls who dressed as though they were at a night club laughing with the other guys looking as though he had no care in the world. He looked so different, but I knew it was him. He was about 6ft, still slender but with a more muscular built frame. 

Without even thinking I stood up. " Mi Amor, what's wrong?" Ester asked with a puzzled look on her face "IT'S HIM" I reply with shock, " Wait! him who?" Ester now stand up to see who I was talking about. " Shawn, Shawn Pierson my......" Ester now cutting me off " your summer boo? where is he?where?". "Wait! I want to see" Sam also jumping up to see who I was talking about as the other girls aimlessly scan the room. "There" as I point to the far corner of the room " He's the one in the white tee with the red book bag on talking to Scotty". Ester and Sam now squinting their eyes as the other girls gazed their attention to the far corner. 

Placing her hands on my shoulder. " coño, he's hot!" Ester yelled. As he slightly turns to face our direction I grab Ester pulling her to her seat while lunging across the table pulling Sams arm to sit down. "what the hell Melissa,  why are you hiding?" Sam looking at me concern "yeah, mama why are you hiding? why don't you go talk to him?" Ester implied "No, are you crazy? I'll just wait" I blurted out.


*Brrrring* (school bell)

 Ester now mad at me " Chica, the only person loca aquí is you. Because now Kelly Michaels just wrap her nasty coffin nail finger around your man leading him to her hell". glancing back to see Shawn walking out the cafeteria with Kelly only made me mad, and in my regrets, I should have just walked over to him and said something and now it's too late.


While sitting in 7th period I couldn't get over the fact I let Kelly little ginger head, petite body, pale skin, freckle face, beady blues eye of pure slutty evil walk him out the cafeteria but I had no-one to blame but myself for letting that happen. With class over I started to gathering my things to put them in my bag, with my back turn Ester grabs me by the arm yanking me out my seat " listen, I'm not playing with you. let's go find him" with an evil smile on her face "ok, let's go find him" I reply back smiling as we walked through the classroom door. 

After walking the halls for about 2 minutes with Shawn nowhere in sight. " Ester lets go Sam is waiting for us. I'll just see him tomorrow at lunch" Ester not wanting to give up the hunt " you sure Melissa? we can just tell Sam to hold tight for a little bit" "no, it's o....". " MELISSA" my sentence was cut short from a deep voice that I knew all too well. I slowly turned around to face the voice that called to me.

 It was him, pacing towards me with the boyish smile that only left me breathless. For a second I  felt as though I was in one of those slow motion scenes in movies that dramatize the characters moment. I couldn't  help but chuckled, as my life was depicting the movie grease as I thought to myself "I wonder if Sandy had the same feeling for Danny when she saw him too".  I stood still, while Shawn walked over stretching his long slender arms out for a hug. "Melissa, wow I knew I saw you in lunch but then you disappeared and I had got pulled out the cafeteria by some girl". Shawn still standing there talking to me, I couldn't pay attention to what he was saying, I was still in shock. he smelled so good, he smelled like fresh lining with a subtle sweet fragrance. He towered over my 5ft6 body having my head rested right under his chin, all I could say to myself was "He was look for me?" and "sucks for you Kelly, he doesn't even know your name"

As our bodies pulled a part, still staring at him in awe I felt Ester nudge me and I could hear his voice again. "really, I didn't see you" only answering his first sentence because I didn't hear anything else after he called Kelly "some girl" but I lied, I didn't want him to know I saw him and decided to run. " Are you going home?" he said as he looked at me as if he wanted me to stay with him and talk more " yeah,*pointing at Ester* we just walked out of class" that was a lie too because Ester and I were like Steve Irwin (may his soul rested in peace) roaming the halls looking for him. " ah just text me. You got my number right?". As I looked at him waiting for his response "Actually, I don't. I had to get a new phone and like a dummy, I didn't back up most of my contacts and you were the only person I couldn't reach out to because you didn't have any social media" and at that moment I cussed my mother. She was overbearing, how could a woman let her child have a phone but nooo social media. I'm 17 now, which is close to 18 which means in America I'm a grown up. 

Pulling myself together and laughing in anger " yeah I know. well, here take my number down" Waiting for him to pull his phone out. He gently placed it in my hand. why haven't I notice how big his hand was before and how slim his fingers were. 

I began to tap away my numbers on the screen and handing the phone back over to him. he smiled and said, "I'll text you ". I nodded and said "ok" as I walked out the door with Ester as we head to Sams car screaming as soon as we were far enough from him. "what happen?" Sam said looking confused. Ester and I looked at each other and started to explain to Sam what had just transpired. 

Would you be my girl?

Two days had gone by after giving Shawn my number. With Ester and Sam nagging me about it,  it only made me anxious. I Kept wondering why he hadn't text me yet; was it because of Kelly?, It wasn't like I haven't seen him it was just that every time I saw Him or was about to approach him; He would be surrounded by Scotty and his meatball friends or Kelly would magically appear.

For the life of me, I couldn't understand why guys even liked her. Nevermind, I knew the reason for her being liked. Kelly was pretty, I'll give her that, she was easy but selective with who she laid with. she and her friends always dressed as though they were going to a nightclub, pushing their breast up at any horny teenage boy as long as they looked good and was "popular" Kelly and her friends would push up on them regardless if they had girlfriends or not.

I remember in our junior year.  I was standing behind one of the book shelves in the library and Kelly was talking to one of her friends about having sex with John after school and how "BIG" he was and how she didn't give a shit about Sara, Which was John's girlfriend at the time, saying " Bitch should have just given up the pussy, talking  about *in a mocking tone of voice* nooo John I'm waiting for the right time". The day Sara found out about what happened between John and Kelly. She cried for a week her face was so red and filled with tears. I remembered her screaming at him in the courtyard " ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS, YOU HAD SEX WITH KELLY" sobbing with anger with her face in her hands while her dirty blonde hair covered her face. 


My eyes fixed to the clock as I carefully watched the minute hand move*tic, tic, tic* I knew if I got to the classroom door first and rush down the hall I could see Shawn. Within the two days, I already knew what hallway he stood at before going to his 7th-period class. It was the long way to get to my class but I didn't care.


The school bell rang which had my heart beating as if it was about to jump out of my chest "PLEASE DONT FORGET TO READ CHAPTER 11 TO COMPLETE THE WORKSHEET FOR YOUR HOMEWORK". Mrs. Hernandez yelled as all the kids jetted for the door. But there he was standing at the end of the hall. I froze then proceed with caution for me to realize he was standing there all by himself. "GET IT TOGETHER MELISSA," I said to myself. Mustering up my courage. I walked over to him and just like that Kelly magically a part wrapping her arms around him while pulling his arm close to her small breast as if she was watching me walk towards him. Then soon after Scotty walked out the same classroom which Shawn just came out from. Tapping Shawn on the on the shoulder saying "Mrs. Howard is such a bitch, I swear I hate that lady" Scotty said to Shawn. As Shawn turn to face him, we made eye contact, I couldn't hide the disgust on my face from Kelly still having her arms wrapped around him. He saw the look on my face and quickly pulled his arm back, forcing her to let go.Shaking my head in disappointment and rolling my eyes, I quickly turned around and headed the opposite direction to my class.


"You're late Miss Rose," Mr. Mathews said to me while addressing the class  "It has only been three days of school. Come on guys lets arrive to class on time. Please take your seat, Melissa". Taking my seat My phone started to buzz. It was a text from Ester. I turn to face her as she was sitting three seats down to the right of me. "text me back" she mouthed.


Ester: Why were u so late.... ;) were you with Shhhhawn


Me: No, he was too busy with Kelly


Ester: What!? are u serious


Me: Yea, I mean it's watever. If he likes those kinds of girls good for him because I'm not that Kind of girl


Ester:  That little Bruja. what the hell is her probably. wasn't she with Cameron?


Me: Girl. Idek


" Hand it over" Mr. Mathews now standing over my desk with his hand stretched out " you can get it after class," he said while I hand over my phone. " I'm a jealous man when it comes to my lessons so please pay attention.  AND THAT GOES FOR THE REST OF YOU" Mr. Mathews said as I sat there embarrassed. with only two minutes left of class. I sat there looking through the window just to see Kelly walking to the school parking lot to approach her father. He handed her money and kissed her on the forehead. I wonder if he knows his daughter is an evil slut?.


* bbbbring*

" What the hell is wrong with that girl? she can't be serious, right? nnnnnooo she couldn't be" Ester said to me as I packed my things up ready to leave class "I'm just really over it at this point it's only been three days of school and she can't even give her slut actives a break," I said to Ester as we walked towards Mr. Mathews desk " Miss Rose and Miss Olivio, next time please hold your conversation after my class I spent hours on these lessons"  Mr. Mathews said to Ester and I Before Handing over my phone.

With class out the way, Ester and I headed out the School doors towards Sam's car Just for me to see Kelly from the corner of my eye all up in Shawn's face. " She's really ridiculous," Ester said to me as she locks her arms with mine pulling me to Sam's car. Sam shaking her head in disappointment from seeing what Ester and I was  "Melissa, don't even let that shit bother you, let's go"


"ah Home sweet, home" as I drop my bag to the floor; slamming my body to my bed with my face in my pillow. I looked to my left staring at the picture of my parents. I couldn't get my mind of what happened today, why was Kelly even that close to him anyway *buzz, Buzz, buzz*. I sprung out my bed to find my phone. To my surprise when I open my Phone it was Shawn Texting me.


Shawn: Hey, It's Shawn 

Shawn: Are You Home?

Shawn: Do you have a Minute to Talk?


Me: Yea, I'm home and sure wassup?


Shawn: Ok, cool can I see you real quick I want to talk to you in person.


Me: ahhh, Sure. do you still remember where I live?


Shawn: Yeah, lol I do I'll see you in about 15 minutes 


"Is this real life right now?" I said to myself as I prance around my room " he texted me *screaming*".  *Wait a second there Melissa Nicole Rose.You should have put up more of a fight* I thought to myself  "Shit I should have asked him what the hell he wanted. God, why the hell am I so easy?" Unlocking my phone I texted Ester of what had just happened *buzz* it was him.


Shawn: I'm outside

Me: ok 


"shit, shit, shit" as I scurried around my room. grabbing my brush to brush out my now frizzy hair; picking up my coconut breeze body spray from bath and body, drenching my body with it from head to toe. I ran down my steps " where are you going?" my mother said to me " outside, I'm right out front" I ran outside before my mother could finish her sentence slamming the door behind me, looking forward. There was my summer fling standing outside his car walking towards me. " Hey" he smiled giving me a hug " Hey" as I looked at him nervously as I wanted to know what he wanted to talk to me about. " ahh, can we take a walk around the block for a minute?" he said and I nod my head in agreement.


We walked around my neighbor in silents as I turned my head to him" soooo, what happen to you moving with your father" He looked towards me smiling " ah, I did move with him, remember how I was telling you how my mother lived close to my old school and I didn't really like it?' nodding my head trying to piece my memories together "yea" he looked to me and said " well when I moved in with him. my mother ended up getting sick so my father decided to get an apartment close to my mother to keep an eye on her but because the apartment was too far from my old school I end up at Lincoln. I was low key happy because I remember you telling me you went to Lincoln high". I tried to keep my excitement in for my intention weren't right, I was selfishly thanking God for his mother sickness and also hoping she gets better. "Damn, well I hope she gets better" my words although full of crap I do hope she gets better "well, yeah she be alright but that's not the reason I want to see you and talk to you, well it is but I just wanted to say sorry for not texting you I was dealing with my mom and over summer I wanted to ask you something but since I moving with my pops. I didn't ask but since we moved closer to my mother and we go to the school" he said as he looked at me with seriousness in his eyes my heart was beating out my chest as he took a deep breath " Melissa, Would you be my girl". In that moment I wanted to say yes but Kelly ginger head kept popping up in my head "what about Kelly?" I said to him without thinking twice.

He looked at me confused and burst out laughing " what about her? I knew Kelly since middle school and haven't seen her since now and we only have two classes and lunch together. so Kelly means nothing to me all she does is push up. sooo are you going to answer my question or leave me hanging" he looked at me waiting for my response, I wanted to be with him and since he said Kelly means nothing I felt as though that was enough reason. "ok" I said to him as I smiled "ok, what?" he said with excitement on his face " Ok, I'll be your girlfriend " at that moment my summer fling was no longer my summer fling he was my boyfriend.

Shawm smile at me with his pearly white teeth and lean in to kiss me. for this kiss was different from the others, it was our first official kiss a couple.





 Eight months had gone by since Shawn asked me to be his girlfriend. I would like to say we've been happy ever since but that's not the case. You can't expect much out of high school relationships, but we made it work some how even through the Kelly issue. Yes, a Kelly issue; after Kelly found out about Shawn and I being together she wasn't too, please. She had bad mouth me to other people around the school making it look as though I was cheating on Shawn and after auguring with Shawn for three days about the issue we broke up. A week had gone by of us avoiding each other which was easy due to his baseball practice and me tutoring kids after school.


It was one day after school, I was walking to the bathroom to hear Ester and Sam yelling in the hall as I cut the corner. It was Shawn standing there looking as though it was his parents lecturing him about something bad he had done. He turns to see me as I stand there looking confused and walked over to me "I'm sorry baby, I shouldn't have let people filled my head with lies" he hugged me so tight as if he wouldn't see me again. running his left hand across my back passing my neck to lift my face to his. he kissed me as though we hadn't seen each in a year " please take me back" he said as he looking into my eyes waiting. I couldn't stop thinking about how I missed his hugs and the way he kisses me without hesitation I nodded my head and wrap my arms around him. I wasn't going to let Kelly get the best of my relationship. " I have to get back to practice. Do you want to come over late?" Shawn said to me as he still held on to me "ok, I'll stop by. I'll just have my dad drop me to your house" I said to him. Not wanting to let him go we kissed one more, he then kissed me on the forehead " cool, I'll see you later" as he ran through the hall towards the double door.


Ester and Sam walked toward me with grins on their faces "I'm glad you guys are back together" Sam said to me with her arms wrapped around my shoulders while Ester nods her head agreeing, saying " and right before prom too".Prom was right around the corner and it didn't cross my mind until my break with Shawn, We were together so I didn't think of it much. even though we were on the verge of breaking up multiple time. 


 "Thank You, Daddy" kissing my father on the side of his face. I got out slamming the car door; stooping my body to the level of the car peeking my head through the window "Shawn will bring me home". My father didn't look so pleased, endless arguments with mother about me dating he finally gave in. I have had boyfriends before but Shawn was the only one my father had met. Shawn met me at the main entrance to the apartment building while opening the door for me he waved good bye to my father. we walked up two flights of steps before reaching the apartment door, I watched him as he turned the golden nobs pushing the door forward leaving the pathway clear for me to enter. Clearly, no one was home as I stood there waiting for him to lead the way " we're going to my room" he said to me and he walked through the narrow hall. I have been to his dad apartment before but his father was always home and we always stayed in the living room. I enter the room while he shut the door behind him "you can sit on the bed" he said. I watched him and he went to his closet sliding the door to the side to pull out a bouquet of flowers a long with a big teddy bear with a note attached to it. "This is for you, I was waiting for the right time to give this to you and I know we talked about prom but I still wanted to do it right and  ask you" I sat there in shock as I pulled the note off the bear and read it * Melissa Nicole Rose, I love you. will you go to prom with me* looking up at him with tears in my eyes I nodded "yes" as we kissed *I Finally understood why getting engaged was such a big thing or at least close to understanding*  I thought to myself as I chuckled.


Shawn quickly picking his phone up. I peeked over trying to see who he was texting but he locked his phone and turn to me " let's go my dad is on his way back". "ok" I picked up my things as I walked to the door I couldn't shake the feeling as if he was lying but I kept going because tomorrow was prom and I needed to get ready.


It was the day of prom. After Shawn dropped me home I spent hours Straightening my hair. I parted my hair to the side taking the curlers to my head; carefully taking chunks of hair to the curlers and curling them. I put flexi rods in my hair to hold my curlers and spraying holding spray on them to help the curls stay in place. That morning my mother and I spent the day driving around town getting last minute things together. we went back home getting me ready for my big moment for my date was only 10 minutes away. My dress was a long, red mermaid style with the sleeve hanging off my shoulders to show off my collar bones. *zip* The sound of the zip running up my back made me nervous. my mother now carefully helping me take the rods out my hair while gently brushing them out. She turned me around caressing my face with care to not ruining my makeup " My baby you're so beautiful" she smiles at me turning me back to the mirror to place a necklace around my neck. "BABYGIRL!, YOUR DATE IS HERE" my father shouted. I slowing walked out my room heading toward the steps I looked down to see Shawn standing at the bottom waiting for me. He looked at me with amazement in his eyes reaching his hand out for mine. he pulled me close giving me a hug " you look so beautiful" he whispered in my ear as with pulled apart " pictures, pictures" my mother yelled. After about 30 minutes of taking pictures and putting my overnight bag in the car, we were off to prom.


Maria Sanchez: "would you say this was the night it all started for you?"

Me: "No, but I think it played a part in it"

Maria: *nods head* "ok" * clicks pen*

My innocents was a cliché

 Pulling up to an old English style castle which looked as if queens and kings belong there. Shawn pulled into valet parking; my door was being opened by a guy who appeared to be in his mid- twenties. He stretched his hand forward, taking my hand in his while an another boy around the same age hopped into the driver seat. I walked around the all black Audi with tan leather seats to lock arms with my date that was waiting for me. "A Knight to remember." said the banner that hung across the entrance, inside was beautiful and everyone looked so elegant. "Melissa" I turned around still holding onto Shawn it was Sam in a silver two piece glitter top with a sweetheart neckline, Her shirt portion was long and satin with a split up her tights, Her pastel pink hair now shoulder length was slick back. Leaving her date behind she ran over to embrace me. Pushing me back with both hands attached to my shoulder taking her time to examine me. "You're so pretty. The color red looks good on you". I smiled at her " You look pretty too" Sam twirled to give me the full view of her outfit. "where's Ester" Sam asked." She texted me saying she was about to walk inside"I looked at my phone to check if Ester had texted me again. 


Both Sam and I were being tapped on our shoulders. we turned around to be hugged by a mysterious girl with red hair " It's me Estúpidos" Ester said to us as she lifted her head "Your hair is RED" I blurted out "You weren't lying when you said you wanted red hair for prom" Sam said looking at Ester with shock "It's so pretty on you". as I touched Ester's hair. The different shade of red suited her well, a long with the champagne color sequin dresses that ran down to the floor. "Gracias ladies, you guys look good too. Now let go take our pictures and dance our asses off" Ester looking up at us.



"ladies and gentlemen gather around. It's time to announce prom king and queen". The crowd pushes forward. Shawn wrapped his arm around my waist leaning over " let's get out of here and head to the hotel". He whispered in my ears. We have talked about the hotel plenty times before and What would happen. I even spoke it over with Ester and Sam as I lied to my parents on why I needed money for a hotel to split with my friends. Shawn held my hands leading me through the crowds and out the big double doors. We stood there waiting for the valet to bring our car to us. Taking off his black jacket to place over my shoulders as the car was being pulled in front of us. I watched him as he walked toward the car to open my door. I picked my dress up off the floor to step into the car. Shutting the door I watched Shawn as he walked to the front of the car shaking the valet hands and giving him a tip.


The hotel was about 15 minutes away from the dance. we slowly pulled into the hotel parking lot while he parked the car. Turning the car off leaning over to pull the lever for the trunk " take the stuff out the car, Imma run inside and grab a trolley" he said to me as he left the car. heading to the trunk of the car I pulled out the two duffel bags. Shawn rolling the trolley close enough to the car helping me place them on the cart "come on, my cousin already checked us in'. Devin was Shawn older cousin that booked the room under his name and checked us in because we were underage.  


Getting off the elevator we proceed to our room " what's the room number" I asked him while he was looking at each door "room 304" he pointed to the door "there it is"Shawn pulling the square white plastic key from out of a white paper sliding the key into the door *cick, Ping* he pulled the door open for me to walk in.


I place my bag on top of the desk in the room "I'm going to change my clothes in the bathroom" *zippp* opening my bag to pull out my night clothes, makeup wipes, and my hair tie " ok, Imma change out here" He said as I walked passed him " do you need me to zip down your dress for you?" with my back still facing him I looked over my shoulder " yeah" He approached me, sweeping my hair over my shoulder while slowing zipping down my dress.


 Entering the bathroom I began to place my things down, I could hear him walking around the room. music began to play in the background. my nerves were getting the best of me *I'm not ready* I thought to myself I've heard stories from other girls about how painful it was and how they bleed. looking into the mirror I pulled out the wipes to wipe my face and pulling off the fake lashes the makeup artist had put on me earlier that day. putting on a long white graphic tee that I took from a previous boyfriend before. Pulling my hair tie from my wrist, I began to put my curly hair into a bun. 


Maria Sanchez: "If you weren't ready? Why go through it?" 

Me: "He was my First love, why wouldn't I have done it?


Slowly emerging from the bathroom to the dark room leaving my things behind. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his shirt off showing the tattoo of his mother's name, that was right below his left collar bone *Linda, what pretty name* I thought to myself. I've seen this tattoo many times before, I've seen him topless in his basket ball shorts many times before but this moment won't be like the last, at this moment I'm choosing to give myself to him. " come here" signaling his head for me to come closer while he licked his lips smiling at me. as I walked towards him, he stood up, pulling me close and began to kiss me. Pushing his tongue into my mouth as we slowly walked to the bed. I began to position myself up on the bed properly as he follows me with his lips still on mine. He stops to look at me " are you sure you want to do this?, we can stop if you wa..." cutting him off before he could finish " It fine.I want to do it".


He continued to kiss me as I lay down on the bed with him bracing himself on top of me. Moving his torso back and forth between my legs while sucking on my neck, lifting his head from my neck we started to kiss again. I locked my arms around his neck rubbing my hands all over his back, I can feel myself wanting him. He made me feel comfortable as he slowly lifted his body off mine to pull out the gold wrapper out his pocket, ripping it with his teeth. now kneeling in front of me. He being to pull his shorts down, propping myself up on the bed following his lead by pulling my underwear down and placing it to the side. my hearted started to race and my palms became sweaty. I watched as he put the condom over his penis.*This is it, the moment of womanhood*I Thought. laying back down. I froze, Preparing for the pain, He gently pulled me close spreading my legs apart to reposition himself between me. Push his self in and stopping half way to pull out to push back in again I was tense. I started digging my nails into his back, the pain was too much "you good?" he said while lifting his head from out my neck "I'm fine" No, I wasn't fine. After what felt like hours of stroking back and forth he stops, holding me tightly then pulling himself off me to walking to the bathroom. 30 seconds had gone by when he came out the bathroom to hand me a wet rag to wipe myself off. I slid off the bed to watch him pull the cover off to get another one from out the closet. I stood there thinking * it's gone just like that. my innocents was such a cliché*


Kelly Michaels

Maria: so happen after losing your virginity 

Me: mmm *tilting head to the side* it got worst 

Maria: worst how

Me: "I don't love you anymore" were his exact words to me 


"YOU DID WHAT?" Ester shouted through the phone. "we had sex". rubbing my hands throughout my hair to smooth out my fly aways "aww our baby is all grown up. how was it" Sam said to me as if she was talking to a child. " you know, it wasn't that bad but since that day.... I don't know he's been acting funny towards me". "funny how?" Ester said as if she was annoyed "mmm its been two days since we had sex and every time we talked or text, it just seems as though he does want to be on the phone with me" I said to her with concern. " boys are stupid" Sam said with disbelief in her voice.


After my phone conversation with Ester and Sam, I started to question my relationship. I knew I wanted to be with him but were his intention on being with me the same, was he only with me because he knew I was a virgin or that he really wanted to be with me. After almost a year of being with him, did I really know him? I try not to let my friends opinion on him cloud my judgment and believe him when it really counts. He was my first serious relationship, I didn't want to lose him. I had my heart set on him even went his mother had pulled me a side and told me " You're a good girl Melissa and I like you but my son *shaking her head in disapproval* he's still a young boy this is just a high school relationship that won't last"I wanted to tell Shawn what his mother had said to me but I didn't, I wanted to prove her wrong, I wanted to show her I was here for the long run.


Me: Hey


Shawn: Hey


Me: How you been? 


Shawn: Good


Me: Oh ok, ahh do you want to come over?


Shawn: Yea, give me a minute 


Hours had gone by, he never came over or even decided to call by then I have gone to bed with my pillow soaked in tears how could he have not called or texted me saying he couldn't make it anymore *he's selfish* I thought to myself. That morning I woke to look into the mirror to see the big bags under my eyes for crying myself to sleep. I picked up my phone to see a text from him *I'm Sorry* at 2 in the morning with no explanation with why he had done what he had done, throwing my phone to the side I started to get ready for graduation.


Arriving at graduation I was filled with nerves, Just the thought of seeing him made me nervous but he was nowhere in sight. Pulling my arm "where's Shawn" Ester whispered in my ear. *shrugging my shoulders* "I have no Idea". "guys please get in alphabetical order" Mrs. Herandez Shouted as she helps other students lined up. Later on that night I called him, even though I was mad at him, I was still worried. Slowly scrolling through my call list to find his name my hands began to shake as I tapped on his name I patiently listen to the sound of the phone ringing in my ears "Hello". The sound of his voice made the hairs on my neck stand up " Melissa" He said as he waited for my response. "Hey, what happened to you today? you didn't even show up for graduation". "yea, a Lot had gone on yesterday and I couldn't make it today, my Dad already spoke with the principal about it" "What happened" I eagerly asked him. "baby where should I put this?". 


I heard Faint voice said to him, I paused to take a Look at my phone as if I was holding the wrong Phone in my hand, while slowly pull it back to my ears "Who is that" I asked him, the voice was so familiar I've heard it before "ah Melissa, listen I've been wanted to talk to you about this but I think its time for us to break up". Break up, the word break up ripple through my ears as heart stopped, my stomach had an aching feeling in its "Excuse me" I shouted in shock " yea, it's not gonna work anymore". "wait! why are you breaking up with me I thought you said you love I thought you said I was the one" now with my eyes filled with tears I choking on my words "shorty I don't love you no more, I thought I did but I don't" his words were so cold towards me. what have I done for him to hate me "Shawn, you can't be serious, Who was that in the background" I couldn't stop myself from crying or from wanting to know who it was. "it's Kelly" he said " KELLY WHO" I shouted with anger " Kelly Michaels, seriously Melissa I don't have time for this right now. I'm with my shorty right now, I have to go". 




Kelly Michaels Name shot through me. My heart started to ache, I felt sick, I couldnt get pass the fact she was there with him and he called her "my girl" I qickly move the phone from my ears to call him back the would ring then go to voicemail then I would call back again on my fourth try the phone was answered "Melissa, Stop you looked disparate" Kelly said to me in a snob voice then she hung up. I fell to the ground as tears filled my eyes " Mel, Are you ok?" my mother said to me as she try to open my door, "im fine" I shouted back" "no you're not so open the door now" 



Texte: All right to this book belong to Amber song/tasg
Bildmaterialien: Image for the cover was provided by google
Lektorat: Proof reading and Editing done by the authors colleague
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 04.08.2017

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