I looked up. I stared at the sky like I did every morning. Every day it was the same. I'd nothing but white. It was an eternal milky glow. Never any sun, or stars. But I suppose thats what someone would expect when they lived where I am.

My name is Theophilia Joy, but everyone calls me TJ. Theophilia means loved by God. That annoys me to no end, because let me tell you that I am definitiley not God's favorite chick. I mean I barely passed the test! What test you may ask? The test for the guardians. My father was mortified that one of his children could turn out this wrong!

I am a guardian angel. Just barely. Barely meaning that if I mess up one more time, I'm out. You can't really blame me though. I had a pretty tough life. I am the daughter of an archangel. I was living the life, His most prized warrior, but then - then I made a grave mistake. I was cast out, removed from heaven. I still remember the leering faces, the cruel laughter of the supposed angels as I was thrown to Earth, turned into a human. Needless to say, when I was on Earth, I did everything I could to make theor jobs hatder. I was a druggie, an alcoholic, a cutter. I was a depressed emo chick and I knew that I didn't belong. And then the unexpected happened. I died as a teenager. I overdosed on heroin. So now I'm back in this place,

One of the misconceptions about angels is that we are preselected to be guardians of humans. The truth is that everyone takes the test when they die. I did my best to fail. I swear I tried so hard. But age old instincts kicked in, and I passed. But I will do anything to do to get out of here. Anything.



I felt different. It was freaking me out. Angels are the same, all of us. Every last one is wears white with these giant wings. We are ocnstructed the same with battle reflexes, skin as ough as armor, and of course, we are all beautiful, according to human standards. The only difference was thatsome of us had a true love and some didn't.. 

In that case, we would get something called a heartbeat. But I couldn't have a true love. Not after what happened. That would be insane - I mean, I swore I would never find anyone else. You see, when angels swear or promise something, they're bound for eternity, or until the day that they're not angels anymore. 

I was a guardian, and a damn good one at that. I train the others. I was always a bit of a rebel, but not anymore. Not since she fell. But the greatest hero's weren't attached to anyone. They stuck to the rules and that's what I was going to do. 

But if I was so alone, why do I think that my heart is beating again?



I walked into training yet again. They demoted me to a level 1. It's disgraceful. I could whoop their asses in a freakin' second but nooo. I had to start all over. With a new commander. I hope that I didn't get stuck with Lucas, he was a pain in the rear end. I remember one time I planted a dye pack in his training bag with - WOAH. 

Get a hold of yourself TJ. You haven't thought about him in years anf your not going to start again. Focus on the goal, You're getting out of this place. I snap myself back to reality and cockily strut into the familiar training room. I was fighting nostalgia when I realized that I was alone. The sounds from outside were muffled by the door, leaving the arena much too quiet.

I dropped into a defensive squat instinctually, but then got back up, laughing out loud. The idiots thought that they could spring me, do a surprise attack and catch me off guard. I could feel the tension in the arena as my voice reverberated off the curved walls.

"Is that all you got commander? I know every nook and cranny in this place. I bet I've been here longer than you. Just because I took a little detour doesn't mean that I've lost all my moves. How about this, I pretend to be caught aff guard to spare your little ego. Now come out where I can see you little man."

 "You want to see me?" said a strikingly familiar voice, making me tense up, almost imperceptibly, but I was sure that he had seen it, "Here I am."

Nathan stepped out of his hiding place, our hiding place. and I froze. Why me?!?

Hold Up


When she had walked in, I freaked out. I forgot to give the segnal and no one jumped out at her for the initiation. And then she laughed and my brain went into overdrive. All I knew was her, her smile, her scent, the feel of her hair, the sound of her voice. But then she had to ruin it. She spoke in a cocky tone that was so unlike the melody that I was used to and I knew that she was different. I knew that she had changed

So I steeled my nerves and walked out. There was still a part of we going What will she think of me?, but years of being a warrior kept me calm, cool, and collected. I saw shock flicker across her face, only to be replaced by irritation, which was then covered by a cocky and bemused mask. 

"Well, hello, commander," she drawled out in a mocking and lazy tone, "Long time no see."

She sneered as I said, "Yes, yes it has. Follow me to my office and we'll see about some supplies for you."

"No thanks, I have my own stuff Mister"

I was starting to get real pissed off at this girl. But I was not going to make a scene in front of mu students. In a level tone I repeated myself, "This is your commander telling you to follow me to my office Theopelia"

I almost broke as I said her name out loud for the first time in years, and I could tell that it had some effect on her too, as she grudgingly complied. On our way out, I called back to the students to start practicing basic maneuvers. As soon as we got to my office I collapsed in my desk chair and Theo sat opposite me.

"So," she said,"you got Lucas' office, huh, Nathan"

And that's when I broke. "What the hell happened to you Theo?! Where did you go, how could you just get up and leave me? I trusted you, I told you everything, I loved you, but I guess it was only me, huh? You were just playing with me the whole time, you never felt anything for me, and now you show up again with this bitchy attitude out of nowhere, with no warning for me. What the hell?" I had been shouting but the last art I muttered to myself, even though I was sure that she had heard it. I put my head in my hands and let out a deep breath, then looked up at her face. She was extremely pissed off.

(Update when I have time guys. Plz comment, I love some constructive ctriticism! It;s my first book, and I haven't edited it yet sorry if there's some bad grammar and tell me if you like the idea)


Tag der Veröffentlichung: 12.08.2013

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To one of my besties Raya, who got me all into paranormal romance

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