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LA24

Von:
User: timjibiza
LA24
24 hours in Hollywood's other film industry

Stichwörter: 
Humour, Adult, Memoire
Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
annme42

I enjoyed that short story i was done in about 30 mins very good do you have any more to read, I will love to read some more. Thank you Maxine

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Gelöschter User

with a little bit of help..okay a lot you could make some books im not a rude person so i won't write stuff like stupid!

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timjibiza

thanks guys

I have a bit of a problem with the bookix edit thingy one day I will work out how to use it. Timmi x

Wichtiger Beitrag
lovingempath

I agree with the comments below. There are some issues with editing, and a little confusion with the dialog (the bold print switching from speakers/thinking/description of settings). I also agree with Gino, that if this were cleaned-up it has a lot of potential to be made into something big (book/play/movie) for your target audience.
Once again, your dialog is very real for what you've written here...settings are very... mehr anzeigen

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