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Death Come Swiftly

Death is sweet when you are in the middle of hell. Von:
Death Come Swiftly
This book takes place in a government research compound in the middle of the rocky mountains.They took one of the best navy seals and preformed a test on him that went very wrong.Now he wants revenge on all those people that took his life away.

Stichwörter: 
Thriller.horror, mystery, fiction
Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
generalhicks

Thank you all for the tips. I'll work on getting all the issues resolved and another edition up.

THANK YOU
THE GENERAL HIMSELF.

Wichtiger Beitrag
joeparente

I want to read what happens next!

Good start on your story. There is an issue with proper sentencing and grammar. I think that a proof read will point out these things. You might also look at spacing. They are needed to make the story smoother to read./joeparente

Wichtiger Beitrag
cavlaster

I can see this story in an extended version. You should give it a shot. They were a few grammatical errors but not too many to distract me. Also place dialogue in quotes. It was confusing to see dialogue mix with the narration. Keep writing.

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Kein Miniaturbild Entfernen Bitte wähle einen Grund aus Bitte gib die Stelle im Buch an. de de_DE