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A Love From A Friendship

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A Love From A Friendship
About a girl who has a friend that is a prince that she has to live with for a while do to the mishave her mother has to leave to go to work far away.

Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
older.m

So, the idea you have here is great, not something I haven't seen before, but not unoriginal. So I'm sure you must want some criticism with which you can improve your work, and, in my opinion, you should try writing it out again as a script - you know: stage directions (movements) and dialogue (speech the way you've done it), because honestly, I had a lot of difficulty understanding what you were writing -- when I had thought... mehr anzeigen

Wichtiger Beitrag
older.m

So, the idea you have here is great, not something I haven't seen before, but not unoriginal. So I'm sure you must want some criticism with which you can improve your work, and, in my opinion, you should try writing it out again as a script - you know: stage directions (movements) and dialogue (speech the way you've done it), because honestly, I had a lot of difficulty understanding what you were writing -- when I had thought... mehr anzeigen

Wichtiger Beitrag
ichigo513

it's a great story, but the way the dialog is writen makes it hard to follow.

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