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Girl On Fire

Book 1 Von:
User: sexiladi
Girl On Fire
Tess was normal ut then she found a strange piece of coral, she made the mistake of touching it but what happens when the piece of coral turned Tess into the Girl On Fire? No this is not a mermaid book!


Dieses Buch ist Teil der Reihe "Flaming Fire"
Alle Bücher dieser Reihe:
Girl On Fire
Book 1
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Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
johnpallister

There may be some good ideas and vocabulary that works well, but unfortuntly for me there were far to many basic spelling mistakes and i assume this was a very raw piece. Raw is good many of my pieces are raw but even then i would still have to read it back to correct as many basic typo errors or mispelt words. So If you did this i could come back and give you a better comment. Don't give up on the piece but as a writer be... mehr anzeigen

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Wichtiger Beitrag
Demonata-Freak

Its FAAAR too rushed, theres no detail, its like readin a summary not a book.
Oh and do you have a problem with full stops??? Its just you used about four full stops in the full book, it was all comma comma comma. No seprate sentances.
Needs re writen and needs more detail. Alot more, if yo do that it may not be a half bad book

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Kein Miniaturbild Entfernen Bitte wähle einen Grund aus Bitte gib die Stelle im Buch an. de de_DE