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Apollo's Chronicle

(Work In Progress - Last Update Ch2 part 5) Von:
Apollo's Chronicle

What is real strength? Many of us wonders about this elusive question. However, the most common answer would be the strenght of the heart. Who would help a stranger without anything in exchange? Who would put his life in danger to protect the life of an enemy? Who would trust his companions unconditionally?

...... I will.


Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
judycolella

This has the potential to be a fantastic novel. A few things need to be addressed, however, and I hope this helps.

First, you've written 49 pages without giving any of the characters names or describing what they look like. This makes it difficult to feel any connection with them. Next, prologues usually don't work well, unless the writer is experienced and highly skilled. Your prologue basically reads like an encyclopedia or... mehr anzeigen

1 Kommentar
Seraph Wedd

This is really informative. Thank you very much for this comment.

Also, sorry for not including the names on the initial stages.

Actually, their names are already set but I didn't include them as they will be used as foreshadowing on the following chapters.

But the "Show, don't... mehr anzeigen

Wichtiger Beitrag
Seraph Wedd

Currently Halfway down the second chapter. Three parts left and then editing! Yay!!! XD

Wichtiger Beitrag
Kalai

Dialogues helped to feel the tone. They also helped me to be there along with the characters.

1 Kommentar
Seraph Wedd

Thanks for the comment! ^_^

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