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It's not what it seems

It's not what it seems
"Only I can describe what is going on, not you, not anyone. Although I still love you. This love will never last, I wont ever last. You try to keep me here, stable, and happy, I'm sorry that I'm letting you down."

Chapter five is published! Please tell me what you think.

Self-harm, Sadness, Recovering, Happiness
Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag

First off, the dialogue needs to be separated on a line by line basis. You have sort of shoved it all together in one paragraph. You do it right on the next page, so do the same thing with your other bit of dialogue.

Next, you have a big problem of simply telling your reader all throughout what is happening. I am sure of two things: 1. Show, not tell is said often by teachers and gets annoying quick. 2. Show, not tell is great... mehr anzeigen

4 Kommentare
Sasha Reese



No problem, I hope it helped.

Dieser Kommentar wurde gelöscht.
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