Suchen
  • Alle Suchergebnisse
  • Bücher
  • User
  • Gruppen
  • FAQs

It's not what it seems

Von:
It's not what it seems
"Only I can describe what is going on, not you, not anyone. Although I still love you. This love will never last, I wont ever last. You try to keep me here, stable, and happy, I'm sorry that I'm letting you down."


Chapter five is published! Please tell me what you think.

Stichwörter: 
Self-harm, Sadness, Recovering, Happiness
Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
JustinSix

First off, the dialogue needs to be separated on a line by line basis. You have sort of shoved it all together in one paragraph. You do it right on the next page, so do the same thing with your other bit of dialogue.

Next, you have a big problem of simply telling your reader all throughout what is happening. I am sure of two things: 1. Show, not tell is said often by teachers and gets annoying quick. 2. Show, not tell is great... mehr anzeigen

4 Kommentare
Sasha Reese

Thanks!

JustinSix

No problem, I hope it helped.

Dieser Kommentar wurde gelöscht.
Um eine optimale Funktionsweise zu gewährleisten, verwendet unsere Website Cookies. Durch die Nutzung der Website stimmst Du der Verwendung von Cookies zu. Mehr Infos
OK
Top of page
Kein Miniaturbild Entfernen Bitte wähle einen Grund aus Bitte gib die Stelle im Buch an. de de_DE