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The Girl on the Swing

User: rachel.o
The Girl on the Swing
When Nkki's Dad dies her mom packs her up and they move to a falling apart house in the middle of nowhere. The house has been vacant for many years, vacant of anyone living, that is. (Not finished, I will update as I go)

Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag

Well, this was pretty good. A nice hook, once I got past the dialogue in the very beginning ;) Well done, my friend. Well done.

I do, however, have some critiques:

Now I must say, you got me very confused in the beginning, especially with the dialogue. I couldn't tell who was saying what! It was extremely baffling to read.

That reminds me that I couldn't tell who the main character was and I had no idea what her name was either.... mehr anzeigen

Wichtiger Beitrag
Paper Planes

You're really talented! You have a way with words that's effortless and yet engaging all at the same time. Kept me hooked right until the end, and definitely left me wanting more! Nikki seems like a really interesting character, and I want to see where her story goes. Let me know when you update!


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