I really like the idea of this series. It has great possibilities. I would, however, recommend that you not put it up for sale yet, since there are number of things you should consider editing.
Watch your use of adverbs (never begin a sentence with one - "frustratingly" is awkward and leaves the reader wondering who is supposed to be frustrated: them or the Captain). Also, the beginning is what editors and publishers call an... mehr anzeigen
I really like the idea of this series. It has great possibilities. I would, however, recommend that you not put it up for sale yet, since there are number of things you should consider editing.
Watch your use of adverbs (never begin a sentence with one - "frustratingly" is awkward and leaves the reader wondering who is supposed to be frustrated: them or the Captain). Also, the beginning is what editors and publishers call an "info dump," meaning you give a whole lot of information that reads more like a text book or cliff notes than an actual novel. However, because you are giving the reader necessary background on the characters, you could easily expand this to include dialogue, action, and the characters' thoughts to convey their history.
Avoid adverbs when possible, never use "very" or "just," and let dialogue drive much of the narrative - that said, you have the groundwork laid for an absolutely wonderful and refreshing sci-fi series! Good job!
Ok great, awesome, Would you mind telling me everything that's wrong with it? I'd like to edit it entirely. Furthermore, I tried with the front cover, but I'm going to re-release it with a cover from selfpubcover.com or shutterstock.com. Now I've noticed that your profile does... mehr anzeigen
Ok great, awesome, Would you mind telling me everything that's wrong with it? I'd like to edit it entirely. Furthermore, I tried with the front cover, but I'm going to re-release it with a cover from selfpubcover.com or shutterstock.com. Now I've noticed that your profile does actually have over 500 friends, mind helping me market my book to all of your friends to buy by sending out a bunch of messages for me telling all of them how good this book is and tell your friends that I'm interested in gaining more friends. Furthermore, would you mind reading the first book The Deadly Dynasty: The Awfully Deceptive And Secretive Beginning because I edited everything that you told me to edit. Furthermore, did you enjoy reading Any0318's Panic? Help me out here, lol.
How many books did you write? I didn't know that you liked writing books also.
Are you going to read The Deadly Dynasty: The Awfully Deceptive And Secretive Beginning? That's Deadly Dynasty but I edited it like you told me. Please read it and tell me what you think.
Marketing your book takes a lot more than that. A lot of those "friends" are just people who sent friend requests, but who I really don't have any connection with. As far as do I write, yes. I've written over 75 short stories and full-length novels, and a number of them are... mehr anzeigen
Marketing your book takes a lot more than that. A lot of those "friends" are just people who sent friend requests, but who I really don't have any connection with. As far as do I write, yes. I've written over 75 short stories and full-length novels, and a number of them are published on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and other sites.
I'll be happy to read your other work, but there are a lot of great writers out there, people whose work is basically flawless, and few of them have found great success. Those people I would always recommend (I know a lot like that), but when a book is still "raw," and the writing isn't yet at the level it may one day be after lots of hard work and practice, telling all my friends how good it is, is just me telling me how good you think it is, and wouldn't be truthful.
I believe you have natural talent, so bringing your writing skills up to the next level will be a lot easier for you than for many of the members here. However, if you want promotions from other writers, be sure your own writing is at least of equal calibre to theirs.
I guess since you didn't realize I was a writer, too, you didn't read any of the ones posted on my profile. You like sci-fi, so I'm going to recommend two: a reading sample of one of my published books, and one by another author here named Aaron Redfern. Read them, and you'll have a better idea what I mean. Aaron is an incredible writer, and without him even asking, I immediately recommended his book to everyone I knew because the writing was so exceptional.
I'm giving a link to one of mine, not because I think I'm the world's greatest writer (far from it), but to show you that I'm every bit as serious about writing as you and the other genuine authors on this site. I'd love to get your feedback, too.
Here are the links:
https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-judy-colella-dark-life-bright-death/
https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-aaron-redfern-stories-about-the-rain/
Hope you enjoy - in the meantime, I'll go check out your edits of "The Deadly Dynasty."