Really liked the dialogue, the flow, the imagery and the interesting comparisons. Kept my interest to the very last word. I'm looking forward to reading more. I would change nothing, was impressed with the grammar, punctuation, syntax and sentence structure. I would say write more, I would love to see where you are taking this story. Thanks Robynn
Your story gave me a few chuckles. It was like stepping back in time. The dialogue is wonderful. Makes me think of Huck Fin in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer or the clan of hillbillies in the Li'l Abner comic strip. Very nice. Would like to read more of the adventures of Rufus and the man/girl he meets up with.
If you're interested you can check out my stories. You'll find them on my profile.
I have started reading this and you do capture the reader's attention and make them want to go on to find out what happens next. But I did want to ask you, could you make the words a bit bigger, it's kind of hard to see... (or maybe I'm just going blind lol)