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User: gooses
Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag

First, my congratulations on having a complete 'book' or story. I liked your ending, leaving the door open for more. It was an interesting story, kept my attention. I had questions, which you answered in the end. You moved it fairly quickly. I would suggest shifting your scenes with simple breaks. We, the readers, if it is done right, will figure out who is speaking, and the fact the scene has changed. Strong story, but you... mehr anzeigen

Wichtiger Beitrag

The story is good as evidenced by my urge to keep reading. I want to know what happens, that's important. I almost gave up a few times because I was put off by the "screenplay" type of telling me what time had passed or where they were. Its only my opinion but I would find a better way to convey that. Some of the dialogue didn't seem real to me. These things are easy to fix if you agree with them. I am guilty of the same... mehr anzeigen

Wichtiger Beitrag

Why, thank you! Hope you enjoy it as much as I did while I was writing it!

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