Suchen
  • Alle Suchergebnisse
  • Bücher
  • User
  • Gruppen
  • FAQs

The Apple

Von:
User: zimmy1970
The Apple
(very) Short story!

Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
Gelöschter User

█▬█ ︀█ ︀▀█▀ ︀18+ ❤ ︀O︀p︀e︀n︀ ︀L︀i︀n︀k ︀➔ www.date4fuq.com?_ebook-john-bradey-the-apple

Wichtiger Beitrag
zimmy1970

thanks for your comments, guys!

2 Kommentare
Dieser Kommentar wurde gelöscht.
Gelöschter User

█▬█ ︀█ ︀▀█▀ ︀18+ ❤ ︀O︀p︀e︀n︀ ︀L︀i︀n︀k ︀➔ www.date4fuq.com?zimmy1970_1264832553.7399530411

Wichtiger Beitrag
tina2010

This is a nice story in a hospital setting. I agree with Scott's comment. It just needs a little polishing. Good Work!

Wichtiger Beitrag
ms.thang

Sometimes walking around in this world,I think I am in a hospital where we all don't know we are sick. Your story is nice medicine.

Wichtiger Beitrag
zimmy1970

thanks, Robin!
this one is actually non-fiction. it's about my mom's illness & then an illness i had years ago.
- i think it's my best writing. it's hard for me to stay in that place, though ... that almost dream-like poetic place but it seems to work.
-- john

Wichtiger Beitrag
lovingempath

I like this type of writing. Very abstract and real. Most thinking is quite abstract, and then as educated humans, we feel the need to administer to it. The raw emotions are still here.
Pump some more of this stuff out . I'll hit dig through your other pieces as well. I know i'll find some more great stuff.
Thanks for this John.
Tobin

Wichtiger Beitrag
zimmy1970

thanks scott! i will look into the cleaning-up of the verb tenses. i totally missed that.
- thanks for the kind words

Wichtiger Beitrag
scottkelly

I dig this. You have some really great lines in here, but it could do with a little cleaning up. I understand that it's written in a Kerouac kinda train-of-thought style, and that's cool, but you should still have your verb tenses agree. Still, you do hit on some brilliant lines, like saying a psych ward is "the kind of hospital where you don't know you're sick."

Wichtiger Beitrag
librarian

Thank you for participating in our short
story writing contest "Family Stories".

The Librarian

Wichtiger Beitrag
zimmy1970

thanks! i try to write in that 'space' which is almost unhinged itself where everything comes together fluidly, but it is difficult & sometimes painful to remain there.

Weitere Beiträge anzeigen
Um eine optimale Funktionsweise zu gewährleisten, verwendet unsere Website Cookies. Durch die Nutzung der Website stimmst Du der Verwendung von Cookies zu. Mehr Infos
OK
Top of page
Kein Miniaturbild Entfernen Bitte wähle einen Grund aus Bitte gib die Stelle im Buch an. de de_DE