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Broken Halo... The Return of The Alpha

Von:
User: ispeak
Broken Halo... The Return of The Alpha
Looking back at my life I now see how foolish I was. I'm where I am now because of the choices I've made, and the man I choose to love. Rejection and murder are the least of my worries. My family has deep dark secrets. Sex, Lies and secrets are all I know. What do you do when living in the comfort of a lie is better then confronting the truth. Some times the truth can set you free. Or it can kill you.

Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
ZhaneAner

I read this entire short story in one sitting. Please write a part two, I would love to continue reading!!

6 Kommentare
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Wichtiger Beitrag
eherrera

Don't understand, what Happened to Halo and how did Lisa become the main person.

2 Kommentare
His94

I feel the same way.

ispeak

This is Lisa's point of view. This is what is going on while halo is gone. Lisa's POV.

Wichtiger Beitrag
J. M. Rivers

I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really... mehr anzeigen

J. M. Rivers

Did you update?

ispeak

Nope not yet.

J. M. Rivers

Oh, UPDATE!

Wichtiger Beitrag
uncson3

Just wondering if you could check out some of my "free" stuff when you get a chance. Take care, Danny....

1 Kommentar
ispeak

sure will. :)

Wichtiger Beitrag
judycolella

The story is good for this genre, with a little more substance and fewer cliches than usual. The narrative is well-written, and the story line is solid.

But you really have to put dialogue into separate paragraphs. It was difficult to tell who was talking because you put all of it in the same paragraph. Look at how professional, published books are written (like "Twilight" for instance) and you'll see that there's a hard... mehr anzeigen

2 Kommentare
ispeak

I'm rewriting the whole book. I didn't know what I was doing before. So I need to do more research. Thanks so much. This means so much to me.

judycolella

You're most welcome. I pretty much started my writing the same way - I had a story idea and could picture it on my inner movie screen, but not all of it was accurate. So I learned the value of research after those flaws were pointed out.

Of course, back then (when dinosaurs... mehr anzeigen

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