I was born fifteen years after the Perfections started to appear. Perfections have an genetic mutation that cause them to be super human. They took all of the humans, and locked them away like we were some kind of animal. They told us that they didn't want us to get in their way. We didn't get what they were saying at first. We thought they came to save our dying world. They made it better, but not for us but for them. It's been sixteen years now, and my family's dead. I have been trapped in this prison for eleven years.

Perfect, Human, Love, War, Jail
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Wichtiger Beitrag
Gelöschter User

I read porcelaindoll's comment. Don't delete books because of grammar, or you won't learn what you need to fix. You have a few words that don't mean what you want them to mean. For example: 'threw the open door' needs to be 'through the open door'. Threw means throwing something.

True it does need eiting, but you're still very young and will learn growing up. The plot/story is amazing though and I would really love to see you... mehr anzeigen

5 Kommentare

Porclaindoll(Because It Is...) and I are actually good friends in real life. We talk about books all the time, and I am learning. I mean I'm only in eighth grade. I didn't have the proper 4th grade education. I actually didn't learn any language or spelling in that grade, so I'm... mehr anzeigen

Gelöschter User

No need to apologize, wasn't critisizing or anything like that. I was more letting you understand that if you write something and someone reviews it, learn from those reviews, so you can edit the story and write it better then before rather than deleting/throwing it away.

Stories... mehr anzeigen


I'm putting the book I deleted back up. It's not close of being finished, but this one isn't either. I will update both soon!

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Wichtiger Beitrag
Alm Hlgh

Hey I stopped by your page and stumbled across your book. I must say the title grabbed me right away and made me ask: "What's this?" So I took a peek and boy am I ever glad I did.

You have a powerful writing voice and immediately I was into the story and what was going to happen next. I love how you write in the 1st person and maintain that focus without shifting back and fro from 1st to 3rd.

Hope you are going to update and... mehr anzeigen

1 Kommentar

Thank you so much!

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