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Love and Death

Von:
User: emobaby
Love and Death
Raina Alba was just a typical girl.Until one day she got to walk home from school for the first time.She gets harassed by 3 guys while she walks home.Will it get worse or just end?

Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
brandy83

I like this story. The idea is really good and it's sad in a way. It reminds me of how I used to write when I was twelve and thirteen years old. It's nice to see someone so young writing.

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kimmyj79

This was a great plot, there was so much in it for you to reason. touch it up some and it will be perfect

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patience413

This is how a true artist starts. I love your story. Once you fine tune your editing skills and clean up your sentence structure, you will have the makings for a fine novel.

Keep writing.

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gooduklady

You have done well, especially considering you are only eleven years old. This was a very heavy story for such a young girl....I hope to read happier ones in the future. My advice to you, Elizabeth, is the same advice I gave my daughter. Read, read, read. The more books you read, the more you will learn about spelling, punctuation and correct grammar. You have many years ahead of you to do this and I am certain you will be a... mehr anzeigen

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four.oclock

Now that was a sad ending. But I commend the premise of this short story. For your age, you're truly a gifted writer. :)

I do like to suggest checking your spellings and I think it's best to put more spaces. But just those and they're not really a big minus to the whole :)

Overall, it was an interesting read. Sad, but I totally enjoyed it. Hope to read more from you soon :)

Wichtiger Beitrag
gooduklady

Looks like you have not written anything yet, or put a cover on your book. Just go back into the editing part of your book, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page and hit DELETE. Now you can start all over again. Valerie

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