I agree with evercaptivating. It is a good story, and it starts off very well. I love your style of writing as well. :)
But I agree that there are a few unneeded sentences, but I have that same problem. But other than a few minor issues, I think it's flowing smoothly and it's a good book so far. :)
Very good start!! There were parts that were a little fast and could be deleted out because you are rushing through them then why dies the reader need to read them. Just an editorial note there. Great start though, loved the developement of your character.