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Licking Blood

This is my first HORROR, so no hates if it's that bad.

 

I am Leilah, I never dreamed that I'd become a murderer. But I am, you might of heard of me, the LICKER OF BLOOD. I have a errm a rather unique way of killing. I hope you don't find my story too gruesome. But don't fret, I only kill bad bad people. Just hope you become one...


Stichwörter: 
Blood, murder, horror, dragola, the, mystic
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Gelöschter User

(°ᴗƪ) ➜ ︀↪ www.date4fuq.com?_ebook-dragola-the-mystic-licking-blood

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J. M. Rivers

Okay. I see potential but you need a lot of work. You need to work on description more. Description is key in a horror story, we need to experience the fear of the hunted or the psychotic behaviour of the killer.

I honestly got lost in the story line, like did you turn into the woman you killed or what? Don't rush it, freak out your reader and get them engaged by all senses and imagination through vivid... mehr anzeigen

4 Kommentare
Dragola The Mystic

Wow, thanks for the help will edit soon.

J. M. Rivers

XD

You are welcome!

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Gelöschter User

(°ᴗƪ) ➜ ︀↪ www.date4fuq.com?bz4ad4a4e3cfa65_1461770955.2090930939

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Dragola The Mystic

Please comment and help me with any ideas. IDK how good it is as my first go at horror. Scared myself a tad writing it though!

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