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Old Bill has hunted more krakens than anyone could count. But can he help a new sailor survive his first voyage?

This is an excerpt from the soon to be released short story collection, Dark Edge.

short story, horror, fantasy, flash, adventure
Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag

reminded of those horror comics from the seventies where the ordinary turned into the horror at the end...

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I enjoyed your story so far let me know when there is more.Serena

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I notice the same sentence structure problem as ‘writingmum’, otherwise you captured the feeling of being at sea, the crusty old captain with the eye patch on one eye and the other one staring at you like the eye of a fish (I’m paraphrasing here) . You hid the true meaning of the “Kraken” to the very end. Excellent! Now I’m wondering how you are going to develop the rest of the story. I’m eager to read the rest.


Wichtiger Beitrag

I really want to read the rest now! Your descriptions were amazing - I've done a lot of boat-fishing and my first time left me feeling that same dead-fish-induced nausea experienced by your main character. You really captured the atmosphere (I swear I could almost hear the waves slapping against the sides of the ship)! Wonderful job!

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You have a flaw in your writing that I wanted to mention, because i recognise it as something I do, and I have to force myself not to.

I'm not sure what its called, technically, but you'll know what i mean if you go back to your word document and see the sentence highlighted in red. It's doing that because the structure of the sentence is grammatically incorrect.

Here's an example...

You wrote:

1. ...asked Bill, sitting on a... mehr anzeigen

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