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love at first chat

its the little things that grow Von:
love at first chat
It was love at first chat for 12 year old lacy Paterson she met a guy she found on an unusual chat room made for conspiracy theorist and superstitious people. these people intrigued her but she was having a hard time till she had met username factoid.

Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag

Pretty good but it needs a revision for grammar check as well as a bit more details in certain parts, it kind of just jumped from one thing to another instead of setting the scene.

3 Kommentare

thanks ill go through and try and fix the problem and in some of it the grammar is spost to be teible because of the point there talking online in txt talk but im still haveing problems with grammar i have tereble grammar so some pointers would be nice and with the jumping... mehr anzeigen

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Wichtiger Beitrag

This is a good idea . needs some editing and a spell check
I would not use U for you and a few other bits that a need careful redo.
paragraphs should be defined

If you attend to these minor things it will make an easier read and better set out story

well done on first try

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