User: composer
A four part series detailing the origins 2 women a man and a child and the effects the choices each makes have on their lives.

Love, Greed, Betrayal.
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Gelöschter User

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Hi Allen,

I have read your story. I think you've got a lot going for you. And I think you should keep writing.

Some pointers (respectfully),

Your sentences were long, with little punctuation and your paragraphs, too, were long. This can tire a reader. I've read that the use of smaller sentences, appropriate punctuation; and smaller paragraphs can increase concentration of your readers.

Also, readers prefer characterisation to be... mehr anzeigen

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Gelöschter User

◔_◔ ︀↪ ︀➭ WWW.DATE4FUQ.COM?composer_1263202068.4070239067

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I really enjoyed your work. The concept was engaging and well thought out. There were a few grammar errors, but I believe that for the most part, those were the result of a lack of familiarity with the many ridiculous rules that we Americans have interwoven into the English language. You show great promise and skill. Keep up the good work and from experience I have found that practice makes (well practically) perfect! God... mehr anzeigen

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Thanks you Donna. I did notice the grammar errors myself when I sat down to read through the book, I guess that's what happens when you post come up with a concept, write the story and post it in a day. I figured if I gave myself time to think about it or go over it, I would... mehr anzeigen

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