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Family Secrets

Von:
User: mommy43jb
Family Secrets
When four year-old Edward Johansson starts having bad dreams at school a social worker's worst nightmare becomes reality.

Stichwörter: 
horror, serial killer, scary, halloween
Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
rebekahjennings

Hi Alana,

I've just started reading your story. I think the first paragraph should have its own date as I didn't realise it was a journal entry till after. Or maybe this isn't a journal and the date that follows it simply for scene setting, and a point that lets us know there is a transition. If this second one is the case then I'd go with more white space between the paragraphs to assist the reader, otherwise they're pulled... mehr anzeigen

Wichtiger Beitrag
paulashene

- Why don't you enter it in the mini contest at Into The Darkness group - the deadline is the 27th...Paula

2 Kommentare
Dieser Kommentar wurde gelöscht.
mommy43jb

I've thought about entering it in a contest, but I'm afraid I don't have much time to finish it with my work schedule and my busy kids! I'm going to try my best though! Thanks for the positive feedback!! I'm glad you like it, and I'll be sure to let you know when I have more!

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Kein Miniaturbild Entfernen Bitte wähle einen Grund aus Bitte gib die Stelle im Buch an. de de_DE