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Beginning of War

Legendary Guardians of Energe Book 1 Von:
Beginning of War
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I earned by place among the Legendaries
who are legendary heroes that protect people of the country. They are only brought out when a problem arises and are trained to their full extent to unlock many powers that the average person has not come across. The problem that has aroused is a war between the Dark and Light. It is destroying the lived of millions that live between the two groups. There are different tribes that exist between the two groups and are separated by their types. Each type earns one spot in the group of legends; fire, water, grass, electricity, and earth.
The way people of this country fight are by changing to their energe form, which is based off of type, personality, ancestors and many other factors. They can evolve as time progresses to much powerful beings.
I represent the water tribe in the Legendaries. We have not yet been able to work as a team but have surpassed a few problems that have come our way. Due to our first failed mission we have lost one of our prized members and also our leader who left us.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I felt the blue light envelope my body. I felt more energy coursing through my veins. I felt as if I had become a whole new person. I loved the feeling. My arms slowly turned into wings with beautiful silver feathers. The silver feathers covered most of my body other than the stomach area. On the end of the wings, there were three wide fingers. My legs became shorter and knees became wider. My face became a more triangular shape and was covered by a strong mask. The mask was a dark blue tint and had holes for my eyes to peer through. There was also armor with the same material covering my chest. My back had a line of spikes that were the same dark blue colour.


Dieses Buch ist Teil der Reihe "Legendary Guardians of Energe"
Alle Bücher dieser Reihe:
Beginning of War
Legendary Guardians of Energe Book 1
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Traitor
Legendary Guardians of Energe Book 2
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Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
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kewl

3 Kommentare
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Wichtiger Beitrag
paulashene

I did enjoy the story line though and you had enough correction with the comments below, so enough said in that. This is an enjoyable YA Book.

Wichtiger Beitrag
crystalsun

Wonderful. It builded momentum from every direction.
What I would have to point out is that you express the scenes in a paragraph repitiously. The point is not straight out there and I like that but it would have to leave us wanting more. And continually repeating can wore out a reader. Just a suggestion.
The mythical aspect of this drew me in with the wings, and the swords and the battles etc. Great stuff! Your writing... mehr anzeigen

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Remembrance

Hi! I'm London and I'd like to say that I really did love this beginning but there are a few things that you need to look out for. On the first page of the Prologue you put, "He had scratches and cut". It should be, "He had scratches and cutS". I'm not sure if that's the exact wording but I hope that gets my point across.

Throughout the book so far you have a few grammar issues, but you can work past those as everyone does. I... mehr anzeigen

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Adam Lewis LaValley

Interesting book. It definitely has a lot of effort put into it, especially the battle scenes. I find the names appealing as well. 8)

Wichtiger Beitrag
writingmum

An interesting start, Well done.

Look at your grammar with regards to dialogue. examples 1,2 &4 here should have a comma rather than a period. Line 3 should have a question mark.

one of the Legendaries.” said Riya.
I have studied it inside out.” I reassured her.
“Aarav are you ready to fight.” said one of the referees.
“Let the fight begin.” said the referee.

Be careful of a sentence like this one...

The parents were killed by... mehr anzeigen

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Kein Miniaturbild Entfernen Bitte wähle einen Grund aus Bitte gib die Stelle im Buch an. de de_DE